"LOSE THIS NUMBER" - a lighthouse summer song offering, with help from Holly Miranda. (Patreon)

Hello dear ones.

This is my offering for the month - and it's a project that's been close to my heart, stitching the summer - and my heart - together with meaning. Art saves. This project has been quietly keeping me at peace for weeks. 

..........

“Lose This Number”

Written by Christian Lee Hutson, from his incredible 2020 album, "Beginners".

My vocal, Holly on many instruments and back-up vocals, Garrett Eaton on drums and a little piano overdub.

Artwork - stunning artwork - by Joni Augustine.

............

Start here.

Listen.

The photo this painting of Ash was based on was taken at the Saugerties Lighthouse on the afternoon of June 28th; this is a day that is going to be seared in my heart for a long, long time for many reasons.

It was hot.

The lighthouse means so much, now. More than ever.

When I was really wounded and ragged a few months ago, my friends took care of me here. That's a long story for a long time from now, but I was there....at the lighthouse, and I was being held close by my friends, held fast to the mast of love, and I missed my son.

Now,

it was time to take him To The Lighthouse, so we went, finally, all together.

 Somehow he knew. 

This boy knows how to heal my heart like no art ever can.

We walked along the long shore, and saw the little beach on the Hudson river before he saw the lighthouse; and he dashed into it, leaving his clothes and shoes behind with us, just so happy with himself, so happy with the water, so happy with the day. 

Just so...happy.

He wanted to walk, in the water, all the way to the lighthouse. 

It was a ways.

I had to follow him, so I stripped down to a bra. I brought my phone in my hand, because the kid just looked too stunning not to photograph, and it meant too much. It was shallow enough not to have to swim deep. Our clothes followed along the shore, carried in the arms of love.

I felt it, with every little step closer we got to the Lighthouse. I felt the wound closing up in the waves.

It took us about fifteen minutes to get there. 

Ash strode towards the shore.

It's hard to describe the feeling of coming to shore, after so long at sea.

So long so far from home. So long out of the arms of love.

But if I had to pick a moment where I came home, where I truly came home, it was this moment.

And it was Ash who led me ashore, and it was the arms of love that hauled us up over the rocks and the fence once we got to the Lighthouse.

We were home.

We were home.

We were home at last.

Safe.

safe, 

safe.

On shore.

Hello, Lighthouse.

(Hello. Hello. Hello.)

Home isn't a place, and it isn't a person.

It's a feeling of true safety.

.......

A few days later, Holly and I went to a birthday party, and during the course of the night a group of people who I barely knew got together and started playing songs they'd written.

(A photo of Maya, Christian, Samia and Will  - photo by Holly, who was sitting at my side).

Christian strummed his guitar and the words started tumbling out:

Bobby helped me track you down 'cause
I just saw your name in the paper
You said, "Of course that reminded you of me
Don't you know that's how a name works?"....

And I was just transfixed.

I so rarely hear new music that really comes into my heart and grabs it.

He sang on...

I know you don't have to forgive me
Hell, you probably shouldn't
I got scared and I took off
I wanted to try, but I couldn't

By then I was crying.

And by the time he got to this verse:

I want to crawl into this daydream I'm having
And live here forever
Confetti blowing into the ocean
The three of us finally together

I was wondering if witchcraft was real.

Somehow, somehow, this man had crawled into my soul, decided what needed to be written, and simply wrote it for me.

I heard so many voices in this song.

Me twenty years ago, scared of love.

Me now, scared of love.

All of our yearning, all of our fears, in one collective tidal wave.

................

So I talked to Holly, and asked if she'd be down to help spearhead a cover version of the song.

A couple weeks later, HERE IT IS FOR YOU.

You can stream the song by clicking play above, or there's a Soundcloud link here:

https://soundcloud.com/amandapalmer/lose-this-number

$3 patrons - hold tight, there's a download post coming in JUSSSST A SEC.

We've also got a couple of fun little videos coming to the $5 patrons, keep your eyes peeled for those...

......

Holly and I in the studio:

Holly working:

Vocals:

Holly and her Banana Shaker.

We recorded at Goathouse Studio here in Woodstock, NY, and along with me on vocals, and Holly on almost everything else, we roped in our pal Garrett Eaton to provide drums and piano on the track....

Here's Holly recording backing vocals....

Once it was all mixed, we sent it over to our maestro Jherek Bischoff, who mastered the track to make it sound as gorgeous as possible for your ears.

The last thing we needed was some cover art, and it had to be the lighthouse, of course.

I reached out to long-time painter pal and collaborator Joni Augustine, who's based in Belfast, Northern Ireland. 

Her painting is always so breathtaking (Art In The Mail patrons - watch out for your latest Art form her landing on your doorsteps VERY SOON!), and the piece she created for this release is no exception.....

This was the ref photo I sent her....

And her first sketch...

And original painting start....

(look at Ash and Mama, side by side)....in Joni's studio....

I though that Ash was too big, and the landscape too small, so Joni kicked out another concept....

The final:

And a few weeks later, I was on Cape Cod with Ash, and I send this to Joni....because.

I love a lighthouse, but I especially love a little boy walking towards one.

There's something about it.

On his way home.

......

Some words from Holly about the process of conception and recording:

A few weeks ago Amanda and I went to the 25th birthday celebration for Maya Hawke. I introduced myself to Christian Lee Hutton at the bar and offered to visibly mend the elbows of his flannel. I didn't know who he was or what beauty he wrote. After dinner the tables were moved to the side and a few guitars appeared and it became a songwriting circle, everyone sharing a song or two. Christian played "Lose this number" and it was absolutely beautiful. The next morning with coffee in the garden Amanda pulled out her phone and had me listen to the album version of his song. She said it had moved her to tears while folding laundry earlier. She asked if I would produce a version for her to sing.

It's always an honor to have anyone, but especially your closest friends, entrust you with the great task of helping them create their art.

I hope I did it justice.

I hope I get to make many more songs with Amanda.

I hope it speaks to your heart the way his spoke to ours that night and beyond.

Warmly,

Holly

......

This release is PATRON-ONLY for now.... we'll probably send it to all the usual public places, but for now, it's just a little something for you. By all means share amongst your friends - and tell them if they want to support weird art like this, they can join the Patreon :)

......

You can support Holly by signing up to the Patreon for her record label, Eye Knee Records:

https://www.patreon.com/eyekneerecords

And you can also sign up to support Jherek Bischoff:

https://www.patreon.com/jherekbischoff

And finally - if you want to follow Joni Augustine's artwork, or commission something for yourself, you can find her on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/j0ni_augustine/

......

SONG CREDITS:

Produced and Engineered by Holly Miranda at Goathouse Studio, Woodstock, NY

Amanda Palmer - Vocals

Garrett Eaton - Drums, Piano

Holly Miranda - Backing vocals, 12-strings guitar, Classical guitar, Electric guitar, Bass, Omnichord, Melodica, Banana shaker

Mixed by Holly Miranda

Mastered by Jherek Bischoff

.....

You can get the original song/album here:

https://christianleehutson.bandcamp.com/album/beginners

LYRICS:

Bobby helped me track you down 'cause
I just saw your name in the paper
You said, "Of course that reminded you of me
Don't you know that's how a name works?
I know you don't have to forgive me
Hell, you probably shouldn't
I got scared and I took off
I wanted to try, but I couldn't

That night you shook me, but I wasn't sleeping
You were afraid of the thunder
Asked me to come in the bedroom
Pulled me under the covers"

Lose this number
Lose this number

It's like I was born on the back of a bullet
With your name written on it
This city will probably kill me
It's the only thing keeping me honest
I want to crawl into this daydream I'm having
And live here forever
Confetti blowing into the ocean
Three of us finally together

Where the whole time I've just been asleep here
Twenty years younger
Smell of sugar and seaweed
Indian summer

Lose this number
Lose this number
Listen
Lose this number
Lose this number
Lose this number
Lose this number

....

Listen.

I Love you,

Amanda

———THE STUFF I PASTE AT THE END OF THE POST———

1. if you are a patron and new to my work, don’t forget your patronage allows you access to ALL of my patreon releases to date. HERE is the link to download my latest big solo record, “There Will Be No Intermission”, and HERE is a link to download the PDF of the art/essay book that goes with it.

2. if you’re a patron reading this post via an email notification, please click through to comment on this post. at the very least, if you’ve read it, indicate that by using the heart symbol. that's always nice for me to see, so i know who's reading.

3. see All the Things (over 200 of them) i've made so far on patreon:

http://amandapalmer.net/things

4. JOIN THE SHADOWBOX COMMUNITY FORUM, find your people, and discuss everything: https://forum.theshadowbox.net/

5. are you new to my music and TOTALLY OVERWHELMED? TAKE A WALK THROUGH AMANDALANDA….we made a basic list of my greatest hits n stuff (at least up until a few years ago, this desperately needs updating) on this lovely page: http://amandalanda.amandapalmer.net/

6. general AFP/patreon-related questions? ask away, someone will answer: patronhelp@amandapalmer.net

2023 Tour Dates:

***THE DRESDEN DOLLS***

Aug 31, Sept 1 & 2 - Woodstock, NY - Colony - *SOLD OUT*

Oct 24, 25, 27, 28 - NYC - Bowery Ballroom - *SOLD OUT*

All tickets at: https://amandapalmer.net/events/