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to feel genuinely cared for,

and to care for.

to want to know and guard the broken and the inflamed and the tangled garden of nerves and the superstitious prayers that sit right under the surface of the world-lit skin.

to feel the not-for-show curiosity of an other’s voice as they softly inquire about how the cells are moving today, your misfit body, your moving-target state of mind, the accidental floods and in your hidden heart,


left the sink on, didn’t know.

to want to know,

and beyond wanting to know,

to ask,

and beyond asking,


to listen.

to listen.

to listen.


that, my love, is love.


………




p.s. if i had any more gratitude these days i’d be on my knees 24/7 unable to do the dishes. i read all your beautiful comments from the last post. everyone is shattered and exhausted. im working on the althing slowly but entertaining a house full of kids on holiday, deeply loved guests and in my absolute happy host place so everything is slow as snails. after that, the substack announce. i love you all so much.

also cross posted this here on instagram.

https://www.instagram.com/amandapalmer/p/CYwsae7Pjnd/?utm_medium=copy_link

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Comments

Anonymous

Beautiful words this morning to lift me

Anonymous

Hi Amanda. Following the news in Tonga, knowing tsunami warnings have been issued i hope your island and loved people are safe. Your description of being your happy hosting place made me smile this morning.

Anonymous

She's high above sea level so totally safe no matter what. Was an audible boom in NZ when the shock wave reached us, which still blows my mind. There have been high waters (up to 1.3m higher than usual) from the tsunami which drowned a few boats whose mooring lines couldn't cope, but no dramas otherwise for us. Tonga needs the help, though: still waiting for them to get back online, but the damage will be widespread (hopefully low loss of life) and they'll need food, water, and building materials.

Anonymous

Ah from the beach pics i thought the community might have been more impacted. Family in Vanuatu had an anxious night but all concern for Tonga. They will need love and assistance, and access will be hard. The boom was heard in Alaska, according to Twitter!!

Anonymous

Oh, Amanda, what a beautiful piece. Your words uplift me.

Anonymous

Always great to hear a slice of your creative work. Keep going your a great artist and also a very honest one!

Anonymous

Amanda, did you guys hear the sonic boom from the Tonga eruption? Heard a sonic crack - which is very unusual in NZ - followed by a thump, all the way in the South Island. Thought it must have been a meteor breaking up; went on a tracker site, only to get the civil alert on my phone. Must have been fairly loud on Waiheke?

Anonymous

Thanks for the poem.

Anonymous

I am a teacher. I got my ass handed to me by my admin for not toeing the party line and for advocating for a safe classroom environment for my students and myself. Your words really really help. Not just what you wrote but how it helped me to write my own thoughts and feelings. Thank you.

amandapalmer

we were out in a loud restaurant so didn’t hear it !!! but what a moment. it makes things feel so fragile. and neighborly.

Anonymous

When the space rock you're on rings like a bell, to remind you it's tiny and there's a fingernail's worth of air between everyone and the void, kind of feeling...

Anonymous

PS. in case you haven't seen this amazing time lapse of the wave crossing Japan and US. https://youtu.be/zoMRwyNhqJ4?t=204

Anonymous

Repair is a real thing that exists. It isn't just bolts and glue, not just paint and sanding... but things that can happen in hearts and minds, in a person, and between persons. I never dared believe before but I do today a little. It might be the scotch.

Anonymous

I love the idea of asking someone how their cells are moving today. "hi, hello, how are your cells moving?" My cells are moving in their usual way, but I'm remembering to sit up straight more often, so it feels like maybe they're moving a little more easily. I've gotten out my fancy coffee today, to add a lift. I'm even having it with real cream (the luxury!). Work has been OK today, I've done my yoga practice for the day, I even read a little, walked a lot, and did some drawing, just for my own pleasure. The sun is starting to come up earlier and go down later, and I can feel my mood starting to improve accordingly. (That 3:30 pm sunset in the depths of winter here in the UK is a real bitch, but the 10pm sunset in summer is w o n d e r f u l. Trade offs.) If I stay focused on what's happening in my community, with my people, the ones who belong to me and to whom I am given, I feel okay. I actually do feel okay.

Grace Beaster

I often think being a playdate/slumber party mama is my favourite occupation. Glad you are living immersing yourself in that state. Honestly, it passes too quickly. Mine are now 14 and 22 and don’t need supervision any more. I still love having their friends over, just don’t need to make as many peanut butter sandwiches these days. Aroha nui, e te tau. ❤️🐝

Rebecca Ryan

Very nice 💜 and what a gorgeous photo wow my freaking heart ..x

Anonymous

Beautiful words, and I think my favourite ever photo of you. Absolutely wonderful.