basic bitch: auckland lockdown diary day 99 (Patreon)

hallo loves

i haven’t had time yet to read your comments on the althing…i’ll have time tomorrow to read everything. (it’s here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/58935124

i’ve been in full lockdown motherhood mode the last 3 days and today i’m having a handful of people - including some american ex-pats i’ve befriended here on the island - over to my backyard for a slapped-together outdoor lockdown thanksgiving feast…such as we can make it. i’m up at 7am and roasting veg. we got a turkey. im pretty proud of this veg. i nailed it.

i posted this, below, to instagram and facebook, and the comments were so so good. and it appears that i’ve found maggie on instagram. if she reaches out to babysit, my life will become complete. i love you all so much.

….

auckland lockdown diary day #99. some young teenagers from waiheke high school stopped me in the supermarket. we were all wearing masks. one of them called my name. amanda. she said, giggling and by way of introduction, “i heard you’re verified on instagram”.

i wanted to hug her and tell her that it doesn’t matter if you’re verified on instagram. it just doesn’t. being verified on instagram is an illusion. being verified on instagram doesn’t stop you from almost crying in the dairy aisle because they don’t have the kind of cheese your friends texted and asked you to pick up for them and they are the only reason you’re able to be in the supermarket without your kid because they agreed to take him for an hour and this was the one fucking thing you felt you could do in return to repay the favor and now you’ve failed.

being verified on instagram does not mean your second babysitter in a week won’t cancel within 24 hours and the dreams you had of getting some work done have vanished again.

i know you’re out there, maggie the teenager from the countdown supermarket, and in the countdown supermarket wasn’t the time to tell you the truth. i am telling you now and i hope you read this. i am verified on instagram and i have written a best-selling book and have charted on billboard and toured the world playing to hundreds of thousands of people and sometimes it all means nothing, really.

i am just a basic bitch in the supermarket who has not combed her hair in four days and who cannot find a babysitter. ♥️

….

and just for you guys..

here are the outtake photos from my supermarket selfie shoot. i thought they’d amuse you.

i bet you never knew how much work goes into being a basic bitch on social media. but honestly, taking sad selfies in the supermarket cheered me a bit.

xxx

afp