photo dump & auckland lockdown diary, day #89. (Patreon)

dear ones

it’s been a second.

i have no time to write anything big. i have had no time to work. i am with ash, holding it down solo in lockdown, and finding childcare has been really unexpectedly hard. i’m figuring it out.

but -

i just wanted to take 3 minutes to remind you all that i love you, and that i’m taking care of myself and my child, and that this - the hardest chapter of my life so far by a long mile - will probably produce some of the best art i will have ever created.

i will have to be patient. i have had to be patient. we all have. this is the most patient i have ever been.

i am proud of myself.

i am so grateful to all of you, for hanging in there while i think of art all day, but cannot take time to create.

this is the apex of patronage. it’s real support for an artist who’s worked hard - almost non-stop - for twenty years without a pause. the pause has come. i still have a job, a salary, a way to cover my rent and staff and not go under. it’s a massive miracle.

i hope you all understand how massive.

…..

more soon, i hope.

for now, here’s a random dump of this week’s lockdown photos from my phone, barely curated. i hope you all appreciate the very Jean-paul Satre “Huis Clos” reference at the end.

it’s pothole season.

…..

ash is going back to school.

i’m fucking relieved and i’m exhausted and i’m so, so, so behind. on everything.

i have so much i want to make, say to you, affirm, reply to, give back.

everything can wait.

everything has to wait.

everything has waited.

it’s the season of extreme submission, slowness.

it is all a me understanding of life, parenthood, friends, family, hardship, community, love, time, values and priorities that i never, ever, ever would have fully understood - for better and worse - without this pandemic.

i just didn’t understand so much. now i do.

thank you, strange pandemic.

thank you, all my patrons.

you’ve both unexpectedly saved me.

x

a