THE STATE OF ALL THINGS: June 2021 (Patreon)

{patron-only}

KIA ORA KOUTOU!! (that's HEY Y'ALL in Te Reo Māori)....and welcome to the STATE OF ALL THINGS. 

Like last month, and I like doing it....I made a tiny little video for you in the moment before posting. I'm at home. Last month, I was on the south island and I spontaneously chose a poem that someone had just shared with me that morning. 

This month, I read you a quote....but boy it feels poem-like. The quote came up on yesterday's post about "going back to normal", and it's by Sonya Renee Taylor.

Before I go deeper....

Here's what's in this month's Althing roundup:

• WHAT I'VE BEEN UP TO IN THE PAST MONTH
• PROJECTS RELEASED THIS MONTH
• WHAT'S COMIN' DOWN THE PIKE
• DISPATCHES FROM THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLES OF TEAM AFP
• HOW THE PATREON ITSELF IS DOING
• OTHER ARTISTS TO SUPPORT
• ART BEGETTING ART

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WHAT I'M UP TO.....

Right now, I'm happy because I'm in the couch-surfing circle. Hosting, this time, which is nice. There's a band called Good Habits from the UK that are playing at Artworks Theater tomorrow night on Waiheke. We encountered each other over social media about a half a year ago, and then we got to meet in person in Wellington when I gave a talk. 

We're twins. 

We both have the rare distinction of being overseas touring acts who happened to be touring in New Zealand when COVID hit. And here we stayed. They are a duo - Peter and Bonnie, from Manchester - touring out of a van, much like the Dresden Dolls in our early days. They've stayed on the road for the past year, as I've pulled off my touring clothes and thrown myself into near full-time motherdom. When I met them in Wellington I gave them my number and told them that if they were ever touring up in Waiheke, they could stay with me. So now they're touring up in Waiheke, and they're staying with me.

I've been the guest for so long. A guest in this strange country, a guest at someone else's table, a guest in so many homes and on so many beds and couches over the last year and a half. It has been so, so rare that I've been able to host another musicians. If you've read my book, you know what this means to me. I have a lifetime of karmic debt to pay the universe, having crashed on more floors, beds and couches than I can count. When I'm home in Woodstock, one of my faveotie things to do is to put up touring friends and make a fuss of them, give them soup, let them bathe, let them enjoy the smells of a home-hearth. I love offering it because I know how much it means when it is offered to me. It's like a religious act.

When Reb Fountain was touring through Hawke's Bay many months ago, I got to put her up in my little spare room. It felt increidbly healing. And to look in my living room and see a suitcase, and an accordion, and a cello....I don't know. 

I'm also so deeply aware of how NONE of this has been happening around various parts globe because of Covid. No shows, no Touring, no couch-surfing. It may sound silly, but it feels holy, to me, to house this band. If you know, you know. Those of you who have toured will understand. And if I have a wish for you, it is that you may be able to welcome in a wayfaring stranger if that's what your heart desires; or perhaps, if you are that wayfaring stranger, that you will begin to find new and wonderfully comfortable places to lay your head.

I'm slowly but surely flexing my writing muscles again, and it feels good, and sorely needed. I process by writing, and I feel like I have - like many of us - a fuck ton to process. My art-heart feels called not so much towards songwriting lately, but more towards direct words-on-page. And also, not having easy access to a good piano is annoying. But yes. writing. Writing writing writing and thinking about words, and thinking about patreon, and thinking about publishing, and thinking about authenticity, and acceptance, and what a Real Writer is. I wrote the big Strangle/Whale piece for Medium (more on that below), but I also wrote a little blog about the karaoke nights of Waiheke, and a beautiful exchange that happened one night: you can read it here. 

I also wrote a blog about my current feelings and emotional state around the thought of being good, and/or good enough, and what that all means. It seemed to resonate with a lot of people, which makes me happy, and keeps the flame lit under my writing bum.

I'll keep writing if you keep reading.

......

And the biggest Team AFP staff newses in a long time... our dearly beloved Hayley Rosenblum is leaving the team to move onto pastures new. Hayley's been a truly integral part of this team, of my work, of this Patreon and this community, for over 10 years now, and we're going to miss her. But she's moving to take a full-time job at PATREON ITSELF as the Head of Online Community - a role she could not be more perfect for.

She and I posted a whole long story-thing here about Hayley's work on our team, and it's mostly written by Hayley herself. Most of you here probably know her name and her face, but I would encourage you all to read the post - I know it would mean a lot to Hayley - so you can get a full view of the rollercoaster her time with me has entailed.

Working for any musician is pretty weird, but working on Team AFP is EXTRA-WEIRD, and our time together is like family. I could not be prouder of her.

While she's still going to be in the fringes of Team AFP, a lot of her work is going to be taken over by various Team AFP members. Our UK Merch Queen, Alex Knight, has put up his hand to help me out with the Althing, so a lot of the heavy lifting in this post (the images pulled, the links, etc etc) is the handiwork of fine young Alex. He knits! He makes merch go! He transcribes! Is there anything this queen cannot do?? Anyway....many thanks to Alex for coming into this new role, and as usual, if you have any feedback on the Althing (or the patreon posts themselves), he and I will be reading all the comments on this post. Consider this the monthly talk-back town hall where you can definitely lodge your applause or complaints about how the whole circus is being run.

......

I got my second pfizer jab. I felt TERRIBLE, and I feel WONDERFUL.

......

I was just a guest on AWAKEN, a podcast produced by The Rubin Museum hosted by one of my biggest heroes of all time, Laurie Anderson.

I just re-listened to it yesterday and, dudes, it's SO SO GOOD. It's about process, darkness, art, and how we THINK the way we think, and the production is just amazingly beautiful.

From The Rubin Museum itself:

The Rubin Museum presents, AWAKEN, a podcast hosted by acclaimed musician and performance artist Laurie Anderson about the dynamic path to enlightenment and what it means to “wake up.” In 10 episodes we dive into the personal stories of guests who share how they’ve experienced a shift in their awareness, and as a result, their perspective on life. From deep introspection to curious life-changing moments, awakening can take many forms, from the mundane to the sacred.

The podcast JUST came out June 29th, I wrote a big post about it here and you can listen to the episode itself here. 

We sent out the FULL, raw, unedited conversation to the $5+ patrons. The podcast episode itself is a little over 30 minutes, but our talk wound up lasting AN HOUR AND A HALF (eek!) so there's so much extra goodness in that unedited conversation. I cry and stuff. That post is here, locked for $5+ patrons.

We try to send these sorts of weird and wonderful surprises to the $5+ tiers as we find and make them, so if you want that sort of thing sent directly to your inbox, come switch to the $5 tier....we're trying to get better at making TREATS for you.

Yes. 

Treats.

:)

......

On to....

PROJECTS RELEASED THIS MONTH....

The film of my second talk at the Auckland Writers Festival was released!

I sat down with Kiwi novelist Catherine Robertson, and we had what ended up being a deeply intimate and passionate conversation about crowdfunding, about this community, about what success means… and there’s a couple of uke songs thrown in for good measure.

The full talk is up here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqLUPYTLpI8.

If you missed the talk with Neil Gaiman & Lucy Lawless, that's HERE on youtube. The Neil & Lucy talk has about 50k views, and my talk with Catherine has about 3k, and that's GREAT for my ego....so you know what to do.

......

Speaking of good for my ego....I wrote and released a long-form essay piece this month, and the part of myself that's been feeling non-real and non-arty got a nice little mainline of I AM REAL BECAUSE I DID A THING:

The whole piece was written and published in less than a week, and it's accompanied by some gorgeous shots from a photoshoot I did recently with Duncan Innes here on Waiheke.

There are more shots coming, trying to decide how to use them is fun.

......

PATREON PROJECTS COMING DOWN THE PIKE.....

The big upcoming project is the ABORTION PODCAST SERIES. 

The state of abortion rights in America is very fucked right now. 

Abortion could easily become a jail-able offense in the USA. Really.

I was doing so much advocacy and activism while on tour....and then Covid hit and my life fell off a cliff. But I will not back up from this fight, not with what's at stake. And yes, I'm gonna do it on your dime, dear patrons. Get ready. You're in this army with me.

Here's the latest update from Kelly, who's working alongside Fannie on the project: 

A couple of weeks into making this podcast I joked to Fannie that we had so much material we were going to end up accidentally producing a ten-part HBO special about abortion. There would be fancy talking heads, an evocative soundtrack and a huge costume department that I would be in charge of.

To date, Amanda has refused to release the Patreon funds necessary to stock my costume department but we're pretty much on track for the rest of it. The contributors we have lined up since the last althing came out are thrilling and we're confident Amanda's desire to provide as much information and context to mobilize her army to action will be fulfilled. It'll be big - at this stage we have hours of footage and are looking to bring you a comprehensive multi-part series - but not a second will be wasted.

And when will it be out, you ask? We're keeping everything crossed for a July release. Clear your emotional diary.

This just in, we've just brought two of my favorite people on board to be part of the podcast. Know who they are? Guess. Here's a hint:

THAT'S RIGHT.

And more people coming on board as we speak....so stay tuned.

......

MEANWHILE....another project is finally getting CLOSE CLOSE CLOSE.

It's called 

THE COUCH OF TRUTH with AMANDA PALMER

In the department of Things That Take Fucking Forever.......

To catch you up to speed on this one, my filmmaker friend from way, way back Jenessa Joffe, came along to the "There Will Be No Intermission" tour in Toronto and filmed a series of backstage interviews. 

Some members of the community came backstage before the show and talked to me, on camera, about their abortion, about their miscarriage, about their mental health journey. It's HEAVY SHIT. And it's beautifully presented. 

Jenessa has taken this interview footage, and produced eight "episodes" that form this mini-series that we've dubbed THE COUCH OF TRUTH WITH AMANDA PALMER. Each one is about 5 or 10 minutes long, and deals with a specific topic - abortion, grief, miscarriage, suicide, mental health. 

This show, and the interviews, took place in 2019 - TWO YEARS AGO.

But these are now in the final editing and reviewing stages, and they're shaping up to be absolutely beautiful. If all goes to plan, they should be heading your way in July. CROSSING ALL FINGERS. 

......

Other Patreon projects that have been in the pipeline for MONTHS AND YEARS by now include....

• The Look Mummy, No Hands music video & documentary
• Tasmania Confession Booth documentary
• Michael Dunaway's documentary from the There Will Be No Intermission tour

I am not stressing.

Are YOU?

......

OTHER THINGS IN THE WORKS....

Art In The Mail is underway! Those of you in the $25 tiers and above will know that the sign-up forms went out in May, and our UK Merch Queen Alex has been co-ordinating everything going together.

The cards are being sealed with MONOGRAM WAX SEALS, nommmm.

Here are some progress photos sent to us by Laura at Elle Bee Designs, the independent wedding stationer who's doing a little, er, different for us this time, and making beautiful art cards with my naked body all over them: 

And the inside of the cards comes with a letter telling the beautiful story behind the image, signed by yours truly here on Waiheke....

These cards are accompanying what might be the most exciting iteration of Art In The Mail yet - AN AFP PUZZLE!!!!

"oh no!!!" I hear you cry! "I am not in the Art In The Mail tier, and I really want a puzzle!!"

We have good news for you, my friends - for the first time EVER, this round of Art In The Mail will ALSO be available for ALL PATRONS to purchase. This is partly because the puzzle is SO AWESOME that we want to share the love - but also because puzzles are PRICEY to manufacture, so being able to produce enough to sell helps us to offset some of the Art In The Mail costs. YAY.

The art card that accompanies the puzzle is *only* coming with the Art In The Mail, so folks in that tier, you are still special and very, very loved. (Plus, you'll be getting yours a few weeks before they're available for other folks to purchase.)

If all goes well with timelines, the Art In The Mail packages should be shipping out by the end of July, and the puzzle should be on sale to purchase in August, so keep your eyes on your inbox for the chance to piece together my vadge.

We're still only producing a limited number of these (probably less than 2,000), and it's very likely that once they're gone, they're gone forever. So be ready.

......

In more teasing news, a certain band turns 21 this year in October....

and we MIGHT have something exciting and special to welcome our beautiful band to legal adulthood...

(original cake-less photo by Pixie Vision)

And if we do, you DEFINITELY want to be on the mailing list....

(photo by Hayley Rosenblum)

So......

Please, please, PLEASE, I cannot say this loudly and often enough - JOIN THE DRESDEN DOLLS MAILING LIST!!!!! 

Note: this is a SEPARATE EMAIL LIST to the AFP list - if you're already signed up to the AFP list, you gotta also sign up to the DOLLS LIST! DO THE THING!!!!

Any upcoming celebrations will be announced to the mailing list first, and the mailing list will be THE THE THE ONLY way to get tickets. 

And if we do anything, it may be VERY LIMITED AND TINY.

Got that?

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GO SIGN UP. 

And *looks around* YOU MAY WANT TO SAVE THE FIRST FEW WEEKENDS OF OCTOBER IF YOU LIVE IN THE NORTHEAST of AMERICA. MAYBE. I didn't say that. shhhhhhh.

......

DISPATCHES FROM TEAM AFP

First up, from Michael.....

Hello Patrons,

I’m writing this at the 11th hour for quite a few reasons and my apologies to Alex who has been putting the Althing together this month for it’s lateness.

This update is a hard one for me for a lot of reasons and I’ve been having a lot of difficulty deciding what to include, what to talk about, how much to share, etc. I know, however, that this community is and continues to be amazingly supportive, understanding, and compassionate so with very few filters, I’ll tell you about this past month. There will be discussions of grief, personal loss and injury, mental health, as well as resillience, hope, and joy. Fair warning.

This month has been a really difficult one. First and foremost on my mind is Hayley’s transition to Patreon. I couldn’t be more excited or more proud of her for taking this amazing opportunity in her life to follow her passion and grow in a role that, in her own words, seems to have been made for her. But happiness for a dear friend’s success can exist simultaneously with a distinct feeling of loss and confusion.  As of June 27th I have now been working for Amanda for 4 years and each and every day I’ve had a partner, a comrade, and someone who has been in the “fox hole” with me in a way that I’ve never before experienced in my professional life. Even before I was officially hired, while I was just in the interview process I spent an afternoon talking with Hayley and immediately thought “oh, this person GETS it, this person understands me”. Every day since then those initial impressions have grown into the knowledge that no matter what, Hayley is the kind of person to have your back, to listen, to share a hug and/or mug with. While I have zero doubt that we will remain very close friends and even collaborators on many future AFP projects, not having that person right next to you when you’re riding this crazy ride has been challenging and I miss her dearly.  Moving forward, I feel like there will be a lot riding on the team’s shoulders in her absence, but we will do what we have always done: support each other through communication and love, forgive each other when we fall short, and help each other learn and improve for next time. I look forward to working even more closely with Alex (although sharing an office is definitely not in the cards any time soon), as well as continuing to work with Amanda during this time of slowing down and regrouping.

While Hayley’s transition out of Team AFP was going on, my old Theater community suffered a tragic loss.  One of my former colleagues from UConn, The Connecticut Repertory Theater, and The Berkshire Theatre Group had a crisis with his mental health and was very sadly lost. He had been checked into a hospital in upstate New York and while waiting many hours for a bed to become available, he disappeared and struck out on his own. After many weeks of searching and internet campaigns, and hoping, his body was sadly found.  I can only imagine how angry, scared, and utterly alone he must have felt in those final days.  Having struggled with mental health for my entire adult life, I can look back at certain decisions that I have made or that were made for me and see an alternative reality where I would have almost certainly headed down that same or a very similar path.  I count myself lucky every day that I’ve had the right people around me to remind me that I’m not alone and because of that, I try to spread that message as loudly and as often as I can.  As I write this, I have another friend who was just admitted to the hospital with their own struggle this morning, so all of this is and continues to be very real and present for me.  Sometimes life is hard, sometimes it feels too hard, too insurmountable, and sometimes it seems like the only rational solution left is to simply make it stop.  While I have had those thoughts many times in my own life I can say to anyone reading this who might believe that they are alone: You are loved.  Even if you can’t see it yet or can’t feel it right now.  I love you and I hope you stick around because I’d really like to be able to tell you that in person sometime. And if you’re thinking that I couldn’t possibly love you because of this reason or that, one of the many reasons I continue working for Amanda is because she and I have very similar beliefs on radical compassion and forgiveness.  Regardless of anything else, you are worthy of being loved and I love you.  If you still think that I have no reason to love you, one of my favorite sayings is “If people can hate for no reason, then I can love”.

Lastly, with all of these thoughts (and plenty more) swirling around my head this month I decided to give myself a permanent reminder of impermanence.  While grief and loss have been central themes to my life over the years, I’ve always found solace in the fact that at some point, whether by our own choice or not, everyone is going to die.  I’ve had many evolving thoughts on what’s “next” over the years, but no matter what you believe happens to you after you shuffle off this mortal coil, the shuffling itself is not in question.  On June 30th of last year I had my own stark reminder of my mortality when I was involved in an accident.  I posted about it here on the Shadow Box because I didn’t want it to be all over social media. It wasn’t the place for this story and still isn’t. But this is our community and I wanted to share it with you.  As a reminder to myself that no matter what we are going through it will end eventually, so we might as well make the most of it as well as a reminder that I am not, nor will I ever be, an actual superhero I decided to get a tattoo of the phrase “Memento Mori” (Remember, you must die) along with its classic iconography - the Grim Reaper with an Hour Glass.  For extra measure I decided to place it directly over my injuries from the accident, right on my ribcage (yes, it hurt). I won’t post the picture of the actual injuries for those who are squeamish but you can imagine a good section of my ribs being the color all the way to the left, with a smattering of the dark red in the middle:

And the reminder that I will have until my own time comes:

So, as you can see, it’s been quite a full month for me on personal, emotional, and professional fronts and I appreciate Amanda giving me the space to share all that with you. And thank you, reader, for listening to me. As we’ve all been saying for quite some time now, “It’s Just a Ride”.  We won’t all be here forever, but while we are, make the most of the time we have by loving each other and believing it when you hear the words “I love you”.

Love,

Michael

{I love you so much, Michael. You are truly, by the way, a goth in disguise. That hat doesn't fool me. YOU'RE A GOTH. - AFP} 

......

From Alex Knight, our Merch Queen-slash-Patreon Architect: 

Hey folks!!

This month has been a bit of a weird life-flux month for me. I've been part of Team AFP, to varying degrees, for six years now. My role has sort of fluctuated a little, but for the last couple of years I've been pretty solidly in Merch-land, with some occasional deviations into other random admin and plate-spinning here and there.

But with Hayley moving on to work at Patreon, the shape of Team AFP is shifting quite a lot. And let me say - Hayley was a big part of this team. Her ability to spin many plates, wear many hats, as well as her incredible encyclopaedic knowledge of AFP and the Dolls, made her truly an integral part of this team's DNA. 

So my role within the team is sort of shifting, as I'm starting to help Amanda out with some of the Patreon-specific tasks that Hayley used to sort out. I like to think of it as the Patreon Architect, carving out the bones of bigger Patreon posts so Amanda can come in and all the links / photos / credits / information she needs are there ready for her to be able to focus on the writing, and saying what she needs to say. 

The biggest challenge so far has actually been this Althing - Amanda has said before how many hours Hayley spends preparing these and putting the bits together, but waking up to 5 new emails from Amanda each with a different iteration of "OOH! look at this fun thing! put it on the list for the althing!!" was not entirely what I was expecting. 

But I'm running at it with open arms! And I think we're doing okay so far!!

In more personal news: way, way back at the beginning of the month I managed to get my first vaccine. In the UK they've only been vaccinating by age (or priority based on underlying illness), so I've spent the last 4 months anxiously watching in the UK as the eligible age to book a vaccination slowly, slowly went down. But then while the "official" eligible age was still 30 and over, I saw on Twitter that there was a hospital here in South London that was offering walk-in appointments to anyone over 25, so my 27 year old self jumped out of bed like a kid at Christmas. 

It turns out lots of young people are equally excited to get the vaccine, and I ended up having to queue for 3 hours. And by the time I got to the front of the queue I suddenly remembered how much I dislike needles, and how much I dislike blood, and that I had been standing for 3 hours with nothing to eat or drink, so I did end up nearly passing out after I had it. lol.

ONE DOWN, ONE TO GO and by August I will be fully Pfizered. Truly cannot wait.

In the meantime, 2021 has been a truly blessed time for music, and I would just like to shout out my two new favourites: first, the new Garbage album "No Gods No Masters" is truly a masterpiece that shifts between loud / weird / electronic / cinematic and is just all round a great time. And second to Marina and her new album "Ancient Dreams In A Modern Land" which is half pure anthemic dance-pop bliss and half stripped back introspective ballads. NOM NOM NOM. 

And to wrap up for this month, here's a photo of me in THE SEA. 

A couple of weeks ago I went to the beach for the day to see my lovely friend Vicki, and after she went some, I was standing and looking at the sea and listening to Marina. And the sea looked so nice and blue and cold and refreshing, and I thought that maybe it would be okay if I took my shirt off and left my shoes and phone just on the edge of the shore and went for a swim. And so I did. You can see my shoes and my rucksack just in the background there. And I was right. It was indeed very, very nice.

The end.

-Alex

xoxox

{Dearest Merch Queen....I'm so proud of you and your ability to juggle all the transitioning and chaos. You're so very different from the Little Wee Merch Queen I knew years ago. Watching you evolve is a massive pleasure. - AFP}

  ......

From Kelly Welles, our invaluable podcast assistant:

Dear Patrons, 

A life spent solely studying abortion for Amanda's podcast is really no life at all, so I was really grateful when the European Football Championships kicked off a couple of weeks ago. My background is in soccer journalism which might seem like a random fit for a hearty feminist with a low tolerance towards racism, homophobia and high profile blokes doing embarrassing things in general, but here we are.

I'm bringing it up not because I think you'll be interested but you might be cheered by events surrounding the Germany vs. Hungary game last week.

The short version (and believe me, there are War & Peace length versions) is that UEFA, the governing body of European football, refused a request from the mayor of Munich to festoon the match stadium in Pride colours to protest opponent Hungary's LGBTQ rights record, calling it a 'political act'.

In the kind of civil disobedience I'd like to see more of from my own country, Germany united in their effort to express solidarity. Several German clubs defiantly lit up their stadiums in rainbow colours, fans arrived at the Munich stadium waving Pride flags and one of them invaded the pitch prior to kick off.

Just when you thought things couldn't get any better, Germany's Leon Goretzka then scored a goal that eliminated Hungary and put Germany in the next round. He celebrated by making a heart with his hands and it's fair to say the hardcore Hungary fans in the stands were not pleased when he directed the gesture towards them as he ran past.

The moral of this story is #SpreadTheLove and #StopTheHate, whether you care about sports or not*.

*And always wear a massive rainbow ruff on public transport.

Love, 

Kelly

{Kelly, I think you may have bought yourself a new job on Team AFP as our new Football Correspondent. Who knew we needed one?? - AFP}

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And.....an update from our girl Hayley Rosenblum, checking in from the front lines at Patreon HQ!

Hello everyone.

June. June has been a month that has zipped on by while simultaneously feeling like the longest month in the history of existence.

If you haven’t yet heard the news, June 11th was my last day working with Amanda as a full-time employee. You can read our heartfelt, deeply personal and very thorough blog post about it below, if you haven’t yet. It’ll mean a lot to me if you at least skim it:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/hayley-afp-4-na-52262121

I also posted a retrospective series of images on my Instagram in a post that was so bittersweet to write, but swells me with so much pride thinking about where I’ve been, and where I hope to go:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CQBWV9IDHGk/

Film photograph taken by me in my college radio station’s record library

After putting in my notice with Amanda, she went offline for a week and I hustled to put together an off-boarding document, a resource for the team where I brain dumped some things I thought they should know and outlined how to do some of the tasks I was primarily responsible for. It ended up being about 30 pages long, and I’m sure it’s not even exhaustive enough. In time I am sure my brain will be picked, and there is indeed a lot of historical knowledge (and lessons learned) to pick.

I’m happy to say I’ll still be helping Amanda and the team in a part-time capacity thinking ahead of future plans and strategies. It’ll be different than the last few years, but it’ll be a shoe that fits, one that I’ve worn before, even though it’s a brand new shoe.

In the last days of my full-time work, it started to hit me more and more that things were changing, and it made me feel all the feels. On my last team call with the team, Amanda closed out the Zoom by lighting a candle and singing a sweet little ukulele tune to wish me well. It was so special.

I want to thank every single one of you who reached out to me, by email, Instagram, in the comments of the Patreon post we wrote together - thank you all for the love and well wishes. I felt so overwhelmed, it took me some time to get my head above water and form complete sentences and send out replies.

The most incredible thing happened, in writing that blog. I wrote it with all of you in mind, you were my target audience. I wanted to share my story of how I got here and why I’m here with you. And because it’s a public post, and because this is the internet, it spread to places I did not expect it to go. My parents read it. My dad called me, it was one of those calls with good news and with bad news, which do you want to hear first? The good news. He told me he was proud of me, and he did so in a way that I never in a million years would expect him to say, randomly, on a Saturday afternoon while I was helping friends with their sidewalk sale. And the film credits could have rolled right then and there for me, because in that moment, he finally Got It. For the last decade plus my dad only sort of got it. During the early years of my employment with Amanda, he most definitely did not Get It. He always thought that I was selling myself short, that I wasn’t working up to my potential, that I needed a “real job.” He just didn’t understand what I did and what it meant, but it was something that I always understood What It Meant and that was why I did it, and that was why I made the life sacrifices that I had made, because I knew What It Meant and It Mattered a lot to me.

The kind words Amanda shared about me, about working with me, when I read them, it felt like I had the privilege to read my own eulogy - it moved me so much. But then my dad, and other folks in my orbit reading those words, put into context years they didn’t quite understand. The immense love and respect Amanda articulated for me, gained me more respect from the people that I love. It helped heal some old, old wounds. It was powerful. So I am so incredibly grateful, humbled and thankful for Amanda’s glorious declaration of the impact I’ve had on her, on you and on all of this. I appreciate every word of it more than I can say. For someone who inspires me greatly, someone I respect so dearly to say it’s mutual is a feeling I hope you all one day get to experience and share.

And then, after the good news, my father proceeded to tell me some bad news, and for the rest of this month more bad news has trickled its way in. It’s not my news to share in a public space, but it is news that affects me and people that I love and is leading to a very long sadness and an extended grief. And so this month has been hard. It’s been hard in ways I’d expect it to be hard, and in ways that I did not. That’s life, isn’t it?

There’s not much I can really say about my new job over at Patreon except that it’s hard work that I’m up for. It’s challenging to onboard at a new company remotely but not too weird considering that the company is headquartered in California so I’m virtually interacting with people I’d virtually interact with anyway. But none the less, everything during a pandemic has a strangeness to it. I’m optimistic, and I’m determined. I really like the tiny team I’m on and the greater team that I’m working with. My work is all in effort to build community and create educational resources to help creators succeed.

My main point of focus is to watch over and tend to their online spaces (hence being in the role of Head of Online Community) and help shape how these spaces are used and how creators can interact with one another and gain the most from the space. If you’re a Patreon creator yourself, feel free to pop into the official Discourse forum: http://patreoncommunity.com and if you like using Discord, creators and patrons alike are welcome over there. The Discord space right now is a big part of my daily work where I aspire to help people find inspiration from one another: http://discord.gg/patreon and I hope in the coming weeks, months I can help transform these spaces to be the most helpful, fun, inspiring and energizing places they possibly can be. It’s no easy feat, but like I’ve said before, I’m up for the challenge.

I’ve learned a hell of a lot working with Amanda, the team and all of you. I reflect on the last several years of doing this Patreon thing with Amanda and think about how much we figured out as we went along, how much we made up as we went along, and how much we pushed and pulled to get what we needed, what we wanted and what we foresaw other creators needing and wanting and it’s nice to step back for a minute and see that we’ve met the moment that we’re in. I think about how much we care, how much I care, and how much Amanda cares. The level of care and consideration is not a given, this is something special. This last year and a half has been harsh on everyone, especially artists and touring musicians. And here we are. Here you are. You may never know what this fully means…. We may never fully know until time passes and we can take a giant step back and see the example that we’ve led by. It was noble, earnest, honest and damn important.

The gratitude that I hold is immense, and I think of it as my rock, it centers me. So as I close out this dispatch, I extend my gratitude for each of you - those that are reading these words, those who are scrolling past them, and those who will never open this post. You’re here, even if you’re in and out. You are here and that means everything to us.

I will close this post with a recent selfie, as Amanda likes us to share pictures of ourselves from the month. Here I am waiting at a bus stop in the rain to go visit my sister, her husband and our best friend from college to have an IRL watch party of the new season of Rupaul’s Drag Race Allstars, a show that we watched remotely during the beginning of lockdown and throughout. We’d tune in every Friday night at 8pm and then spend the rest of the night talking on the phone afterwards. It was a distant way to stay social and be together while apart. And in an ironic way, that distance made us closer and we started talking way more often. It meant a lot to me to finally be able to watch in person together, as we’re all vaccinated and were able to coordinate being in the same place at the same time, which is never an easy thing and not something I will ever take for granted.

My hair is longer than it’s probably ever been...I’m going to chop my pandemic hair off this week, as a self-care birthday gift to myself. I finally feel ready to go into a salon and shed the length that serves as a heavy reminder of how much time has gone by since my last cut in November 2019. The world was different then. I was different then.

Suddenly a song lyric has popped into my head to close this out -

Life will lead us and love will be our guide.

Hayley

{WE LOVE YOU and we miss you and we love you, Hay. We're gonna keep doing the things. We're all so super proud of you....the whole thing's a circle, and all that stuff. Love is the guide, indeed. On we follow. xxx AFP}

......

And from Jordan, my manager.....

JORDAN IS NOT AVAILABLE FOR COMMENT THIS MONTH BECAUSE HE IS TAKING A HOLIDAY BECAUSE HE JUST GOT A NEW PUPPY NAMED ODIE AND ALSO SYDNEY IS BACK IN LOCKDOWN. :)

We expect more incoming puppy pictures in the future.

.......

HOW THE PATREON ITSELF IS DOING.....

As of this writing there are 12,984 patrons pledging about $42,770 for the first Thing each month.

I go over this stuff in every Althing, but if you're new to all this: Patreon charges you monthly & retroactively, meaning that you get billed on the 1st of the month for all the Things released the month prior.

Because people have their pledges capped (HOW MANY TIMES CAN I SAY THIS....if you are on a budget, you should cap your pledge please: here's the tutorial again), the first "Thing" raises the most money by far, and anything released thereafter raises less and less. I LIKE THIS! THIS IS GOOD! It means I never feel too guilty!!!!!. really. do it. cap cap cap your pledge if you are on a budget.

The numbers below are gross. Not net. Meaning: it's the money raised before fees were deducted by patreon and is not the total deposited to me. patreon takes a 5% fee (which they use to build and sustain the platform, which is GOOD) and then there's a payment processing fee, which varies on a ton of factors and is usually between 5-9% of the total collected.

Also, none of this reflects the money I SPENT MAKING THE ART, running the business, paying the office rent, paying for crowdcast, getting myself around, getting the team around and fed and slept, all the collaborators, and my actual staff payroll, etc.

I don't share that level of nitty-detail-stuff with you because I assume it would bore you to fucking tears. but you can trust me: paying for a full-time staff, office, manager, accountant, and massive team of art-collaborators ain't cheap. sometimes we barely break even, especially when we do a lot of charity projects.

Back in May, I Thanged 2 Things:

Lucy Lawless interviewing AFP and Neil Gaiman at the Auckland Writers Festival was the first Thing and it earned about $48,852 from 13,052 patrons

The State of All Things was the second Thing and it earned about $19,319 from 7,178 patrons

(we say "about" because patreon may be still trying to process some pledges that have yet to go through...we never know, you know.)

Them's the numbers.

I believe in the ebb and flow. so the patreon has dropped a bit $$-wise, but the number of patrons has stayed pretty steady, which is great.

It means that people are adjusting but ... sticking around.

In general, things are good.

......

OTHER ARTISTS TO SUPPORT!!!!!

BAT FOR LASHES has joined Patreon.

I've been following Natasha's work for a long time, and I'm very excited about this. She's set up a system similar to Ani DiFranco, where there's only two levels. I can't wait to see. what she produces.

(for bonus credit, you can take a trip down memory lane and listen to me and Brendan MacLean covering the Bat For Lashes song "Laura", way back in 2016, and one of the first handful of things we released here on Patreon...) 

SUPPORT HER, and send our hugs.

......

I also just found out that the incredible author N. K. Jemisin is on Patreon too. I'm a fan, and so is Neil. A basic bio...

N(ora). K. Jemisin is a New York Times-bestselling author of speculative fiction short stories and novels, who lives and writes in Brooklyn, NY. In 2018, she became the first author to win three Best Novel Hugos in a row. She has also won a Nebula Award, two Locus Awards, and is a recipient of the MacArthur “Genius” Fellowship.

In addition to writing, she has been a counseling psychologist and educator, a hiker and biker, and a political/feminist/anti-racist blogger. Although she no longer pens the New York Times Book Review science fiction and fantasy column called “Otherworldly” (which she covered for 3 years), her reviews can still be found online.

And this is part of the bio she wrote for her Patreon when she launched it in 2016:

Here's the problem, though: I have a full time day job, and a writing career. Unfortunately the writing career -- like any small business -- has become more than full time over the years.  Between travel, constant meetings, affiliated side-gigs, and promotion (e.g. interviews, speaking engagements, signings), I'd say it takes up about 50-60 hours per week.  The day job is 40 hours. There are 160 hours in a week.  You do the math.

So she set up the Patreon (in May 2016) so she could quit her day job and focus on writing without money worries.... and within a couple months SHE HIT HER GOAL AND SHE QUIT THE DAY JOB. 

Patreon is amazing. 

Patronage is amazing.

Support.

......

CHELSEA MANNING has also just announced that she's joining Patreon!!! 

Here: https://www.patreon.com/xychelsea/posts

I just pledged, and cannot wait to see what comes out of this.

If you don't know who Chelsea Manning is....

Oh god. Just google?

......

And in the department of other artists doing art weirdness, I came across this awesome TEA TOWEL in my friend Tanya's house....

It's a TOUR DISHCLOTH.

It's made by Gideon Irving, who according to my friend cycled a musical show around NZ, and then he made these tea towels showing every house they stayed and couchsurfed with.

I SHOULD DO THIS.

WHY HAVEN'T I DONE THIS?

Filing away for future tour plans.....

Don't let me forget.

......

ART BEGETTING ART

As always, some beautiful artwork has come in through socials....

from @adriennedanielle_arts

from @raz_design_studio

A motherfucking STENCIL from @hopscotch227:

Gorgeous Trout Heart Replica-inspired tattoo from @atcfsut on Twitter... 

I CRY.

........

Some beautiful calligraphy doodling from @workin_mule:

And a gorgeous sketch by @lizzyinsands....

Don't forget you can always email us beautiful art and things to art@amandapalmer.net. We love to see it.

That's all for this month, my darlings.

As usual....your patronage means the world to me.

Me and the team would not be able to work the way we do without your support, no matter what level you are at.

We need you, we love you, we cherish your funds, and please hold me accountable if I do too much shit this coming month.

The main project I'm hoping to work on this July is this one:

If you're wondering what he's drawing, it's a Minotaur. He sent it to Justine for her birthday.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

xxx

AFP

------THE NEVER-ENDING AS ALWAYS---------

1. if you are a patron and new to my work, don’t forget your patronage allows you access to ALL of my patreon releases to date. HERE is the link to download my latest big solo record, “There Will Be No Intermission”, and HERE is a link to download the PDF of the art/essay book that goes with it.

2. if you’re a patron reading this post via an email notification, please click through to comment on this post. at the very least, if you’ve read it, indicate that by using the heart symbol. that's always nice for me to see, so i know who's reading.

3. see All the Things (over 150 of them) i've made so far on patreon:

http://amandapalmer.net/things

4. JOIN THE SHADOWBOX COMMUNITY FORUM, find your people, and discuss everything: https://forum.theshadowbox.net/

5. new to my music and TOTALLY OVERWHELMED? TAKE A WALK THROUGH AMANDALANDA….we made a basic list of my greatest hits n stuff (at least up until a few years ago, this desperately needs updating) on this lovely page: http://amandalanda.amandapalmer.net/

6. general AFP/patreon-related questions? ask away, someone will answer: patronhelp@amandapalmer.net