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a cargo ship, a suez canal and an excavator walk into a bar... (Patreon)

Published:
2021-03-28 05:28:23
Imported:
2023-03

Content

hallo dears

love from an air bnb in auckland in between the splore festival - which was incredible - and a jaunt over to our old neighborhood in hawkes bay.

i was going to post something big and beefy today but i am so zonked from the festival travel and travails and the glorious issue of trying to sleep in a tent with blaring techno going til 4 am that i am taking the day off mostly in bed because i feel massively worn down and the next days are solo with ash - i’ve taken him out of school for a week - in a car staying at various friends houses in hawkes bay. can. not. get. sick.

also i thought my twitter post today might amuse you:



i love you all. i mean, wanna come? it would only cost about $100,000,000,000. per city.

oh and this.

an old college friend - rob matthews - just dug this up and sent it to kya, who texted it to me.



it’s me dancing with my friend matt shawkey at our society house, eclectic, at wesleyan university. i’m about 19. it’s taken in the eclectic ballroom but i have no memory of this night, what we were doing, why we were dancing, or...anything.

chances are i was really inebriated. i spent 1995-1999 mostly inebriated. someday i’ll actually go write all those dark memories down. they’re in there, somewhere. i’m planning to write a lot this year. maybe a new book, maybe just essays funded by the patreon, maybe both. i love writing for my patreon/blog and getting paid. nothing has to go off and convince a publisher it’s worth something. i just write and get paid. i started the patreon much more focused on music but now, i need to write, and i need to make a living, and making money from writing can be hard. i’ve convinced you people to pay me to write.

so...i am a goddamn lucky writer.

there’s too much to process right now and writing - words on a page, not just songs on a piano - seems to be my preferred path out of hell. everything that happened a long time ago is starting to make a lot more sense. the visits back there will be painful.

i don’t know where or how to start excavating certain areas of pain and trauma.

slowly.

i’ll go slowly.

......

my mother sent this picture/meme to a family text thread today.



i imagine all the excavators, the tugboats, the human beings trying to get this fucker out of the canal.

the canal is my next book. the ship is my ego. the excavator is my next therapy session.


the canal is climate change. the ship is the military industrial complex. the excavator is great thunburg.

the metaphor is ripe for the taking, all.

the canal is .... your life?

the ship is .... your past?

the excavator is .... ?

keep going.


the rotting cargo containers are every friend you’ve ever had, or every argument you’ve ever lost. i mean go CRAZY.

the winner gets a donut

x

a

Files

Comments

Rhiannon Crutchley

The canal is my desire to have kids, The ship is my stunted rock n roll life, The excavator is my recent maternal leanings.

Anonymous

The waters of the canal flow with ripples of artistic desire. Each wave wants to dance and perform and share an ever evolving abundance of inspiration and to contribute some small part to the greater collective. The ship is a paralyzing fear that looms casting deep shadows of rejection and shame. Its cargo hold packed with the harshest self judgements and every failure. The blockage of this enormous vessel divides me from other souls that are searching and share the same simple and searing ache for acceptance. The excavator is a tiny glimmer of enduring light. It whispers almost inaudibly and cheers me on in a language that I only understand in the midst of music and movement.

Mary Alice Fraughton

The canal is sex. Of course it is - the slippery wet pathway of least resistance; it cleaves the desert of my life. I am the cargo ship, containing multitudes (many of which are mundane). The goddamn mud is my trauma. “Just see where I’ll take you,” says the Suez Canal, but I am bogged the fuck down by my multitudes. Almost all of me wants to just stay here, wants to unpack and inhabit the desert, forget to get wherever it was I was going. But part of me - listen, my ego encompasses even the excavator, deal with it - doesn’t want that. Doesn’t accept that. Digs.

Eva Ozean

The Ship ist the towering suffocating fear of the "third wave" of COVID and the nerve wracking wait for my vaccine here in Germany and the digger is me just writing an email to the Bundeskanzlerin, pleading for "hardest possible lockdown now".

Gaba Kulka

I hope you have a good rest, Amanda. Fingers crossed that the days with Ash, solo go as smooth and happy as they can. Apropos the ship: A poet in my twitter feed (you need to follow poets, I have discovered, it makes everything online 100x better) reposted a short little poem (a "bredlik", and it took me a moment to find out the origin of this form and fall in love with its goofyness) about the ship. I loved it so much, I kept laughing at it for two days. Here it is: my name is Boat and wen im tired (but shipping werk is still required) then all I want is lyttle snooze i turn to side i blok the Sooz (By @krfabian) I was on the phone with my mom and the subject of Ever Given came up. I wanted to tell her about the poem, but without ruining it, so I put the phome down, made a quick semi-faithful translation, and called her back. She laughed very hard and I was pleased enough with the translation to put it up on twitter. Cue: chain reaction. A friend of mine made a translation of her own within 15 minutes, and I think by the morning we had about a dozen new ones from people I've never even heard of, and I kept retweeting. My most "liked" post ever. Forget releasing albums or announcing tours, I will be famous for that bredlik translation. And I'm not bitter about this, it was seriously the cutest, loveliest social-media moment of my life. :) Hugs!

Anonymous

Dear Amanda and dear fellow patrons, have you heard about rtt (rapid transformational therapy)? It could be your excavator! I'm in training to become an rtt therapist myself, and I've received two sessions as a client myself. After everything I did and used before to excavate obstructed things from my past and get into the flow, I can say: rtt is a true miracle worker! I got rid of two of my worst inner enemies in just two session. Mind you, they were giants: the last one stemmed not only from my own biography, but turned out to be a pattern passed down over many generations. You can check out what rtt is here: https://rtt.com/whatisrtt/ and find an rtt therapist here: https://rtt.com/fast-short-funnel-step-1/ (You can do sessions online. They work exactly the same as the ones in the therapist's room.) – I don't want to intrude in your healing path, just letting you know about this option. In any way, all the best for your further journey with and to yourself from the bottom of my heart!

Anonymous

Did you know, the freighter Ever Given painted a giant penis in front of two bottom cheeks with its route right before entering the Suez canal and getting stuck in it? ...

Gaba Kulka
>>56575358

Duuude. My day is done, this is all I will have in my head for the next 12 hours! :D

Anonymous

I take the donut.

Anonymous

Wait. Is no one talking about the bear? I love the bear. I have that bear. We need more bears.

Anonymous

Ship is me, the canal is 40 years living with undiagnosed/untreated ADHD and Narcolepsy, the excavator is 27mg daily of Concerta I bought on the dark web

Anonymous
>>56581304

I just followed your links and began to sign up but it said a call is required. How does one go about getting treatment for social anxiety when all the remedies require social contact?

Anonymous
>>56581304

Hi Bridta, my reply to you earlier seems to have vanished. I gave you some key information about how you could access rtt therapy without initial personal contact. However, meanwhile I asked my rtt therapist if she'd take you on, and she said 'yes, gladly'. She'll go with you from where you're willing to go. If you're interested, please, pm me on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/silka.roedl/ I also recommend you Marisa Peer's youtube channel. She's the founder and creator of rtt. There are some very insightful videos on anxiety. You could start with this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcLq03XEKJ4 All the best for your journey! <3 Btw, I'm 43, and I lived in the dark for most of my life, too. I can personally testify that people can achieve change and liberation in a way, they can't imagine .

Anonymous
>>56581304

Here's my general reply from earlier: The link to the FAST funnel I posted above leads to a page run by the administration team of the rtt trainers. It provides very quick access to specialised therapists. However, if you'd rather get in contact in writing, you can search the web using "rtt therapist [your country/region] [your issue]", and contact any of the thus found therapists in an e-mail. For people who don't want to get directly into talking, there's a protocol for the inital contact: You fill in the intake form and discuss with the therapist the communication form you feel comfortable with. You needn't get directly into rtt session. You can receive written coaching in the beginning, and also a recording by the therapist that makes you familiar with them, and helps you also ease the fear of talking with them.