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just waving hello. how are you? (Patreon)

Published:
2020-12-11 12:11:43
Imported:
2023-03

Content

hi loves.

i’m just waving hello, it’s after midnight here on friday. i haven’t written in a while and i’ve been slowing down my work hours...preparing for the holidays, cleaning the house a lot, winding team AFP down for the upcoming Season of Blank. i’ll have more to say about that next week.

i’m tired, i’m happy, i’m a little lost, i’m a little vague. i always feel like i’m short on time. i always forgive myself.

how are you all doing?

i’d especially like to hear from my friends in the states. where are you and how is it?

it is hard to tell from the news apps.

i’ve been talking to a bunch of people back in my country. everyone now knows someone who knows someone who has died of covid.


it all feels very fragile.

i just posted this to twitter.




https://twitter.com/amandapalmer/status/1337323490223955968?s=21

but there’s the vaccine.

but then again there’s time, and reality.

nobody really knows anything.

i know i don’t know anything. i know i’m grateful to be in new zealand right now and grateful to be able to take ash to swimming lessons.

i haven’t made art in a long time.

it feels like a time of slowing down and being careful, a time to take stock.

it’s ok.

i love you all a lot.

x

a


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Comments

Anonymous

Hello fellow expat. You are in New Zealand, we are in voluntary exile at Woodfordia, Queensland. We loved your show here last year, wish you were here and miss you a lot. Just know that you are not alone in missing a home that no longer exists the way we remembered it. We all pray for a speedy global recovery. How long will it take to undo the damage of the last four years? Let the great solstice slow down give us all time to heal and reconnect. Love love

Katrina Pavlovich

Yes, I know someone who knows someone who died of COVID-19. Now my best friend and her husband in GA are sick (her more than him). My sister's family clinic in San Diego has officially become an "outbreak" site. She is still negative, but will have daily screenings. Story time at her home will now be conducted in masks. Her 8 and 10 year old and husband all have asthma. I'm feeling like it's only a matter of time before my VERY high risk family in Florida will be infiltrated. So...trying to keep my fearful thoughts out of the Universe. I'm in Boston. Things aren't great here either, but I'm still safe. Nothing seems fair. Hope. I'm holding on to hope.

Anonymous

I'm in North Carolina. Most of my people are being careful, but there are so many others disregarding safety precautions. Our numbers are getting pretty high here. I'm a school teacher, and our county's board of education is intent on bringing us all back to the classrooms in January. I'm tired and I'm scared, but so far my people are safe and we just keep on keeping on.

Anonymous

I’m in MN. We closed gyms & restaurants again for 4 weeks before Thanksgiving - but malls and stores got to be packed on Black Friday 🤷🏻‍♀️. My husband’s aunt died from Covid in April. My 11 year old son is sad and missing his friends. A lot of the public schools in the Twin Cities are back to full distance learning. Just taking it day by day.

Anonymous

Hi Amanda! Waving back from Russia. I’m in Moscow. My family and I and a couple of friends just went through covid. I still can’t smell anything but other than that, fine and grateful for it. Going out to the city center for the first time in a while right now. And it is snowing. It’s beautiful. Meanwhile numbers here are skyrocketing. The official stats for Moscow is 8,000 new covid cases per day. The real stats? Who knows.

Anonymous

Checking in from Missouri. Just me and my partner, trying to stay hunkered down with the pets. We're both "essential workers" so finances haven't been too stressed until they started slashing hours to maintain profits. We take the time to find good things about this isolated year (no forced socialization, focusing on each other, not having to pick up for guests, saving money from dates and such) but we are afraid. We feel helpless. I feel helpless, sometimes telling myself if I become more diligent it would somehow effect the numbers. We watched our friend take 7-8 month to recover from covid in the early stages and it really set our minds to follow all the suggestions/rules from the start. But I FUCKING miss my family, all 6 of those fuckers, and being able to cuddle in my mom's lap or even able to visit her in Chicago because she's a hospice worker. She is exhausted, truly. Always sleeping or crafting to distract her mind. She's misses kissing her grandchildren and taking road trips to suprise them. We're trying. Some days we're succeeding. Everyday we're surviving

Linda

I'm afraid to say this has been the best year I have had in a while, especially mentally. I have bipolar disorder with manic psychosis episodes and that have been under control for a couple years now which is huge for me. My parents passed of murder-suicide around this time (I was 16 and am now 30) and I dont feel as much pain right now but i miss my mom. I just wonder what her thoughts would be about everything, I know she would want to help. It worries me to feel good about anything sometimes because it feels like something worse is going to happen, I'm trying to kick that feeling. I am hopeful for once and it's almost like imposter syndrome. We've all got this though. I believe in us.

Margreet de Heer

Holland has just announced Strict Lockdown until January 19th. Only essential stores stay open. Schools close. There's financial support for businesses that are hurt by this. Testing is widely available now and pretty quick (result in half a day) - I've been for a test four times, last time just before visiting my mom who I hadn't seen in too long. A handful of people around me have had Covid (including my upstairs neighbor), all of them recovered, even one who is 90 years old. Staying home is easy for me and my husband since we work from home anyway.

Margreet de Heer

And I wanted to add: don't feel guilty when you're doing relatively fine! It's what the rest of us needs to hear. It's very comforting to know that at least some places are safe and turmoil-free.

Anonymous

Southern California, mandatory stay at home orders in effect for San Bernardino County. It's the last week of school (virtual Kindergarten) before winter break. My 6yr old son is just tired of sitting at the computer and wants to play. I'm tired of wrangling him and keeping him on task. Just 4 more days and we'll have a fabulous 3 week break, I cannot fucking wait. My immediate family is being extra cautious and wearing masks always and staying home as much as possible. My in-laws are going to a family Xmas party with at least 20 other people from several households and I'm so angry at them for their flagrant disregard for the health and safety of themselves and other people. My father in-law has kidney disease and knows he's high risk of dying if he gets covid. I am angry and frustrated with my in-laws for not taking this seriously. I have to let it go or I'll go nuts with worry. I know I cannot control what other grown ass adults choose to do. I have my own little family to worry about. I already know life will never be the same as it was before the pandemic started, but I'll have to make peace with that. I video chat and have long phone conversations with my cousin in Oregon on a regular basis and that helps my feel connected to him; he's one of my best friends and we're close like a brother and sister. I'm so fucking thankful to have him in my life. My husband works in a refrigerated warehouse at night, we miss him and I worry about him, eventhough he's very careful. There's a lot of variables. I'm so tired of feeling stressed. I'm just tired really. Christmas is a hard time of year, I miss my spunky Gramma and I wonder what she'd make of the state of the world right now? She's been gone 3 1/2 years now. She'd be happy we flushed the orange turd, she really hated him. I dunno what she'd think about the pandemic? She lived through a ton of hard times and I think she'd probably be just as stoic as she always was. May we all be safe and happy throughout the holiday season. Love to you and Ash.

Evan

things have been really, really hard for me personally. Going through the end of a two year relationship. Struggling through my first semester of online college. Potentially probably likely having adhd. I've been back at home from school, which is a lot of emotions. Been unable to create anything happy, but ive been playing piano for the first time in years. music helping me through :,)

Anonymous

Paid holidays for team afp! Finally. So glad to hear this is happening. Absolutely delighted.