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HOLA COMRADES.

greetings from long island, where i'm hiding away for a couple days with neil and neil's daughter maddy and her BF for a long weekend of family collapse. i did really want to get this post out the door, though, for your weekend listening pleasure (well, "pleasure").

first, an explanation. i know i've been saying for a while that the podcast is officially launching in september. THIS IS STILL TRUE! but, as i also mention in the intro to this podcast, i didn't want to wait to release this conversation...it's just too topical and important.

so here goes. 

right before my second show in portland (the last of the north american tour) on june 9th, i sat down with dr. leah torres in a local portland library to talk with her about her work.....and what we can do. 

i believe strongly that if i'm/we're going to get involved in the fight for reproductive rights, we gotta know our shit and start making friends with the right people.

i found dr .torres on twitter a few months ago - i can't remember who followed who first - but i was quickly impressed by her empathetic point of view and her strong stance on women's rights. here was a human being who was actually putting herself out there on a daily basis. i invited her to come to any show on the tour, since she lives in new mexico. she shocked me by saying that she wanted to fly up to portland. i told her that if she was going to come all that way, we might has well do some sort of event and recorded conversation if she was up for it.

oh boy was she up for it.


after looking for a venue online (we used twitter and facebook), multnomah county library in portland put up their hand to host the event, and i really want to give this library a hand. they went above and beyond to host our community and this conversation....a huge thank you to lyndsey and the entire staff at the multnomah county central library for putting their time and energy into making it all happen.

as soon as we locked the venue, we set to work getting a really good recording of whatever the chat was gonna be. we made the tickets to the event FREE.

here we are, right before recording.


we chatted for over an hour....then we took questions from the audience (both from the audience in the room and online).

you can watch the talk HERE , we filmed it on my phone on facebook live:

https://www.facebook.com/amandapalmer/videos/409198989671468/

or, LISTEN.  we used fancy microphones.

it's a really good listen.

without further ado.....the LINK. THIS IS A PUBLIC SOUNDCLOUD LINK, ANYBODY CAN LISTEN! share it around.

https://soundcloud.com/amandapalmer/notorious-abortionist-a-conversation-with-dr-leah-torres/s-1muhH


thanks to lyndsey runyan of the multnomah county library for the space, chez stock for recording, and the audience for joining us.

.....downloads for $3+ tiers are coming soon. 

i learned things. i hope you do, too.

here’s a link to the book we key bringing up:


https://www.amazon.com/Handbook-Post-Roe-America-Robin-Marty/dp/1609809491/ref=asc_df_1609809491/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312021251979&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=1366642405559037637&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1022762&hvtargid=pla-616699691026&psc=1


also:
i asked leah for an organization to donate a portion of this Thing's proceeds towards, and she recommended the Kentucky Health Justice Network.

so you know: i also asked to cover her travel expenses to make the trip, but leah asked me instead to donate that money to an organization of my choice, and to keep it all in the family...i'm gonna donate that to the kentucky health justice network as well....so we are going to donate a total of $3k!!! that feel goods.


here's what they do.....

Kentucky Health Justice Network builds the power of Kentuckians to achieve reproductive justice. We support this mission through direct support, education and outreach.  
Our work is guided by the reproductive justice framework, developed by women and people of color. We believe reproductive rights are human rights, and that all people should be able to decide if, when, and how to parent. 
DIRECT SERVICES:
KHJN provides direct services through the KHJN Support Fund, a practical support abortion fund. The Fund is a staff supported network of volunteers who help people seeking abortion with financial assistance, transportation, interpretation, and more. Click here to learn more about the Fund or how to access services.
EDUCATION:
KHJN reaches out to the broader community with "What is Reproductive Justice?" workshops to explore the issues that members of our communities care about, and how those issues relate to reproductive justice. Through a "What is RJ?" presentation, you can learn about the history of the framework, contexts it is used in currently, and why it's different than the pro-choice framework.  Contact us to learn more about these workshops and how to bring one to your group or organization.

KHJN, in collaboration with partners like the T STAR Lab, investigates how trans, genderqueer, and gender non-conforming people in Kentucky access healthcare, and how to ensure healthcare is affordable, responsive, respectful, and inclusive for these communities. Read more about our research at the Trans Health section of this website.

We also facilitate a monthly queer health conversation group. Anyone who identifies as LGBTQIA+, queer, or beyond heteronormativity, and who wants to grow and learn, is welcome to join and ask questions respectfully. Together we create an intentionally radical space where we work together on each others' issues and focus on anti-racist, anti-heterosexist, anti-transmisogynistic and anti-cissexist practice. We discuss mental, emotional, and physical health topics identified and agreed upon by the group. Some discussion topics recently have included the Affordable Care Act, endocrinologists and health providers in our area, sexuality such as safe bondage and consent practices, dealing with community members who treat us poorly, and self-care. You can get updates about group meetings at our Facebook page.
 
We also hold movie nights, book clubs, variety shows, and more.
To get updates, join our mailing list or follow us on social media using the buttons at the top of this page!

here's their site: http://www.kentuckyhealthjusticenetwork.org/what-we-do.html

groups like this are going to need more and more help as fewer women in these areas can access legal abortion. 

i am glad we could help.

....................

and....wow.

i can't believe this woman actually wanted to be friends with me. 

SHE'S A REAL DOCTOR. 

i now have a real doctor friend? 

wow.


this is the article, by the way, from the anti-abortion news site where leah was called a "notorious abortionist". warning, it's hard to read. 

and here some words from My New Friend Dr. Leah Torres herself:

It's funny being asked to reflect on "that time I met Amanda Fucking Palmer"... On my early flight home the morning after our podcast I thought about how I wanted to write down all of my thoughts and feelings... but how could I possibly do this in a way that Amanda would understand how profoundly she touches the souls of people like me? 
I thought, "Maybe I'll email her 'An Open Letter to Amanda Fucking Palmer' but then I thought that was cheesy... and I thought "Who am I? How many people tell her every day how inspiring she is? Like, a lot, right?" So I wrote nothing, thinking the time will come and the moment will present itself. How soon is now? I hung out with a rock star for a day! I should have been dumbstruck and awkward and weird-- but Amanda doesn't let you fall, and she doesn't look down at you from a pedestal, no matter how hard you try to put her up on one. 
I felt like I had known her: like you know a close friend that maybe you don't see very often, but when you get together it's like no time has passed. I'm sure that's because I have followed her peripherally through the years, and I devoured her book, but here's the thing: I felt like she saw me in a similar light. (I could be wrong.) 
We did the podcast and I thought it went smashingly well! We connected. We were there, in front of her family of countless many, me having been welcomed in lovingly as if I had been there all along, and we told our truths. Something that's relatively straight forward but can be complex and sometimes messy. We hoped to inspire others to do the same, and I have a good feeling we did. I can't put my finger on it: Mutual Admiration Society, Mutual Take Down the Patriarchy League, Mutual Not Letting the Bastards Grind Us Down Club, or just plain, simple "Hey, I like you"-- whatever "it" was, there was a connection. 
Could I call Amanda Fucking Palmer "my friend?" Did that just happen??! I giggled to myself as I answered my own thought in the affirmative and wondered why I had ever been nervous to meet up with my friend in the first place. She does that. She is genuine and she will connect with you, if you let her. It's quite remarkable. After hugging her "see ya later" before she went on stage for the last show of her tour, I didn't feel sadness in seeing her off: I felt excited for the next time we would meet, or connect, or work on a project, or have an exchange on Twitter, etc etc. My head was filled with creativity and drive and "go get 'em, lady!" It was UH-mazing.
The dust has settled a bit now but the memories of listening to her book have been on the forefront. The Fraud Police, for example. She hit the nail on the head with that one. Wow. Mine are always on my ass. I remember listening to that part of the book and knowing that we were all the same-- all of us humans on this planet have these things in common. You hear them when she reads her book aloud to you on the app, you hear them when she sings to you as she plays her piano or ukulele... 
We all have so much more in common than we do differences, and the commonalities are SO OBVIOUS because they're all about JUST BEING HUMAN. How can there be so much hate and division in the world when we have this amazing gift called being human?! We all share it, and we all enjoy it so much more when we are together in its experience! 
Amanda talks about "radical compassion" and, although it can be nigh impossible at times, I think it is the only thing that can save us. I received a very scary death threat through Twitter, and it turns out that person did not have the capacity to even leave their own home, let alone make good on my death-- that made me sad for them, and my heart ached thinking about how little human contact they might have, how much love they might be lacking in their life, to drive them to be so hateful to a complete stranger on the Internet. I encounter less threatening hatred (but hatred nonetheless) regularly, but I don't get upset at those people. Weird, right? 
But I do wonder how I might be able to help them, or I wonder what has happened to them in their lives that they hold this inside their hearts. We are all too precious with our brief time on this planet, surrounded by those we love and those who love us for just a moment, for that time to be spent angry and hateful. 
Sure, anger can get things done, but anger at fellow human beings does so much unnecessary damage. Nothing gets done by, nothing is accomplished with, no rewards are given for being angry at people. Be angry at systemic bigotry and hate. Use love to squash these systems out of existence. Live by the code that has never failed me: do unto others as you would have done unto you.
 I don't know you, but I bet if I did, I would love you. 
I would value you. I would ask how you are and really listen to your answer. Let's take all the leaves from Amanda's book of life and see each other with compassion.
Also, I want a ukulele. 
Your friendly neighborhood autonomy protector, 

Leah Torres, MD MS


aw, man. it looks like she's flipping out just as much as i was that we actually made friends.

here's to new friends.

also it looks like i may have to mail somebody a ukulele.


.............................


bonus? here's a love pile of all of us backstage right after this conversation and right before my second portland show, backstage at the crystal ballroom....

from left to right: storm, colleen, leah, me, fiona.

speaking of autonomy, storm large - who i also interviewed for the upcoming podcast, has a few shows coming up next week in portland at the portland center stage at the armory, the run is close to selling out:

june 25-30th
https://www.pcs.org/crazy-2019


WE ARE ALL CRAZY ENOUGH.

CRAZY ENOUGH TO CHANGE THE WORLD

i love you all.

have a great weekend.


xx

a

p.s. photo of me & leah by michael mccomiskey, graphic design for podcast by andrew nelson


------THE NEVER-ENDING AS ALWAYS---------

1. if you’re a patron, please click through to comment on this post. at the very least, if you’ve read it, indicate that by using the heart symbol.

2. see All the Things i've made so far on patreon: http://amandapalmer.net/patreon-things

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4. new to my music and TOTALLY OVERWHELMED? TAKE A WALK THROUGH AMANDALANDA….we made a basic list of my greatest hits n stuff on this lovely page: http://amandalanda.amandapalmer.net/

5. general AFP/patreon-related questions? ask away, someone will answer: patronhelp@amandapalmer.net

THE NEXT TOUR, EVEN THOUGH IT SEEMS LIKE LIGHTYEARS AWAY, IT'S REAL

Wed Sep 4 – Netherlands – Amsterdam – Meervaart

Fri Sep 6 – Germany – Berlin – Admiralspalast

Wed Sep 11 – Germany – Munich – Kongressaal

Fri Sep 13 – Germany – Offenbach – Capitol

Sat Sep 14 – Austria – Vienna – Konzerthaus

Sun Sep 15 – Austria – Graz – Stefaniensaal

Wed Sep 18 – Germany – Stuttgart – Theaterhaus

Thu Sep 19 – Germany – Essen – Colosseum

Fri Sep 20 – Belgium – Antwerp – De Roma

Tue Sep 24 – Germany – Hamburg – Laeiszhalle

We Sep 25 – Germany – Leipzig – Haus Auensee

Thu Sep 26 – Czech Republic – Prague – Hybernia

Fri Sep 27 – Luxembourg  – Luxembourg – Conservatoire

Sat Sep 28 – France – Paris – Bataclan

Fri Oct 11 – Denmark – Copenhagen – Bremen Teater

Sat Oct 12 – Sweden – Stockholm – Södra Teatern (SOLD OUT)

Wed Oct 16 – UK – Bexhill – De La Warr Pavilion

Sat Oct 19 – UK – Cardiff – St David's Hall

Sun Oct 20 – UK – Cambridge – Corn Exchange

Wed Oct 23 – Ireland – Cork – Opera House

Thu Oct 24 – Ireland – Dublin – National Concert Hall

Sat Oct 26 – Ireland – Belfast – Ulster Hall

Sun Oct 27 – Ireland – Limerick – University Hall

Frin Nov 1 – UK – Dunfermline – Carnegie Hall 

Sat Nov 2 – UK – Glasgow – City Halls

Sun Nov 3 – UK – Manchester – Albert Hall

Mon Nov 4 – UK – York – Opera House

Thu Nov 7 – UK – Newcastle – Tyne Theatre

Sun Nov 24 – Portugal – Braga – Theatro Circo

Thu Dec 5 – UK – London – Union Chapel (SOLD OUT)

Fri Dec 6 – UK – London – Union Chapel (SOLD OUT)

Fri Dec 13th - UK - London Union Chapel (JUST ADDED)

https://nointermission.amandapalmer.net

Files

Comments

Anonymous

Notorious Abortionist is a pretty rad title. I love all of this, I love love. It has truly been a real delight to experience it in my life and it's my wish that every living thing feels loved always. Thank you for this beautiful little post! Looking forward to hearing the 'cast. ❤❤❤

Anonymous

this is amazing. so much caring and compassion. I just paused the video when understood that I've started to cry. Leaving in a country where abortion and women's rights in general are something society don't want to face at all, having a history with i-couldn't-stopped-be-weirdly-freezed-so-I-haven't-got-to-an-abortion pregnancy with compation-free doctors at 19 - despite the fact that raising a child I didn't want to have made me stronger in so many ways, it actually did a lot of damage to the health - not only by the process itself, but the constant stress and breakdowns I had during the time (and the shame is there all the time - I feel struggling even when I write this). The compassion that comes from this video, the "it's all fine", the "your health and opinion matters" that comes from this, it's - well, not actually healing this, of course, but somehow makes those memories not so awful. thank you for this, genuinely. And I started to think of the thing that everyone is silenced about - what if you have the child, that you surely love and care about, but you didn't want it? Wasn't prepared? All this crap about "your instinkts would make it all right" - is indeed just crap. I actually had this conversation with my daughter. My wonderfull mother in attempt to bite me, told my child, that I didn't want her. My daughter came to me and asked - is it true? It was so damn hard. Society would say "tell her it's not true! that's what you have to do! it would be normal, she would feel normal, think of the trauma she's gonna have!". But the thing is - I never lie to my child. So this was hard. And I told her - I wasn't ready. I was sure that I'm incapable of raising a happy person. That I saw so many awful things people do to their children all the time calling it "love" that I've stopped to believe in childen raising. I told her that it's still inside me - the feeling that I'm incapable to make her happy despite the fact that she's wonderfull, despite the fact that I love her - that raising the child is still a strange thing for me. I asked her whether she feels happy in general. She thought for a moment. I was so afraid then. "I do" - she said, - "If anything, I'll let you know. I love you". I was hugging her, and then, when she went back to whatever she was doing, I went out and cried. About having a family with my child that I don't see as something I can manage, even when she says that she feels happier than most of the children around her. Because it wasn't my decision. Because I wasn't ready. Because I'm not sure I will be ever. And the fact that I made a person I love, the person I responsible for - her - live in this, makes me so deeply sad. I remember couldn't sleep and do anything except lying and shaking overwhelmed with a feeling of shame for having a child. Shame for be capable of having the child even. To engage either in giving birth or abortion, the inconvenience it creates for the surrounding people. It's all about the same thing, it's all about have a right to be a girl. To want or don't want to have children. To have children - or to not have them. To have a right to not be convenient for others when necessary. Sorry, so many words))) I just started to write and couldn't stop. Your openess and sincerity are contageous))

Julia Mason

The day of this podcast being recorded, I saw Leah enter the Crystal Ballroom (with Amanda, well ahead of the start time) and she had the best "wow I can't believe this is my life right now!" smile. It made me happy to see it. Since I am not a notorious abortionist, merely a simple pediatrician, I was waiting (I thought I was first in line, I didn't know about the McMenamin's restaurant policy) to get in and claim some seats closer to the stage.

Julia Mason

I so appreciate the work that you do, Leah! I'm old enough that a good number of my (male) med school classmates that went into OB-GYN were misogynists. I'm really, really hoping that is no longer a thing. I started med school in 1987 - it's been a while. (When I did my surgical rotation, the hospital had 3 dressing rooms for the surgical area. There was the "surgeon's" dressing room, the "nurse's" dressing room, and the "male staff" dressing room. The surgeon's lounge was in between the surgeon's dressing room and the rest of the surgical suites, but they just kept the door blocked open so female surgeons and medical students could enter and hang out in between cases. When I had a form I needed to be signed by "my" surgeon during my surgical rotation, I either had to use the nurse's dressing room to change into scrubs and then walk to the surgeon's lounge to find him, or else ask a male medical student to walk into the lounge via the "surgeon's dressing room" and hand over the form that way, no need to change clothes. When the surgeon I was learning from asked the orthopedic surgeon if I could spend the day watching his cases, he said "Sure! As long as she doesn't go into orthopedics! Because a female orthopod is an oxymoron!!" ) My best friend in med school started out in the surgical residency at the Mayo Clinic. After a hellish intern year, she switched over to OB-GYN, saying to me "at least the patients are happy I'm a woman." Some things are better in medicine, at least versus thirty years ago.

Anonymous

Holy shit, I needed to hear this right now. Thank you, Amanda, for fighting for compassion and education, the two pillars of what I believe will change the world for the better. Dr. Leah is amazing, and I am so glad you introduced her to all of us. She is profoundly awesome. As I prepare to share a book I wrote about sexual abuse and its ripple effect on communities, I need all the education and compassion I can get. This is so honest and beautiful. Love to you both for being brave and for bringing us all under your love umbrella.

Anonymous

More of this, please.

Tay

I can’t wait to listen to this. I was so afraid to “come out” as an abortion rights supporter and advocate for training at my family medicine residency. But then I did . Now I’m learning to perform medication and aspiration abortions at planned parenthood. #artofasking #aspiringabortionist

Liz Campbell Vidreiro

Finally listening to this. I love that you mentioned teenagers and needing to support and educate them. I'm an 8th grade English teacher, and although I haven't discussed abortion with them, some of my kids told me that I helped them so much this year without even knowing it just by being compassionate and endlessly supportive. I'm planning to be available during lunch next year for kids to talk to me about ANYTHING, and I'll be honest with them if abortion/sex comes up. I also wanted to comment on what Dr. Torres says right after that--one of my kids opened up to me about self-harm, and one thing that really stuck with me is that she feels like she deserves it and it's a form of penance. She was so confused by me saying that she doesn't deserve pain; she deserves love. (She's seeing a therapist now and getting that message from her as well.) I just want my kids to know that I see them, and I love them. You are a role model to me, and I try to be a role model in a similar way to them. I think it's working.

Anonymous

To Dr Leah Torres- wow, you seem to be a compassionate, caring human being. Determined just by reading your words, keep up the good work and take care always. Goodness is always needed in this world.

Anonymous

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! This podcast touches on so many important topics. It is important that we talk about these issues, see their interconnectedness, and come out of the shadows of shame that our society casts us into as women.

Anonymous

Thank you for sharing this and to both of you for the podcast! My partner and I went to that and your last show and they were both amazing and difficult and expertly handled by you and Dr. Torres. We left feeling like it one some of the hardest emotional discussions we've had in a while, but very needed (personally and in general). Also, thanks for the call out to artists at your show. I needed to hear that as much as I needed everything else.