a message from outer space, december 28th. {patron-only post} (Patreon)

(patron-only post)

hola my dears - 

i hope you made it through the holidays in one piece (peace?). i didn't post on christmas day as i usually do...but forgive me, family called, then i wandered off into safety, see below.

greetings from a plane that is flying somewhere over the eastern seaboard. i’m en route from new york to sarasota, delta flight number 1527 where we are going to visit cousin helen, who is now 101.

she still says “i love you” every time she sees you cos she knows you never know. (http://amandapalmer.net/amothersconfession/)

nobody on this flight is getting peanuts, they've announced, because someone on the plane is VERY ALLERGIC. the cheeky flight attendent who brought me the bad news that my requested vegetarian meal might be overcooked laughed when i told him that i didn't care as long as it was made of ENTIRELY PEANUTS. then i asked what else people ask for on flights.

he told me two stories: one about a woman trying to bring a peacock on a flight. and one about a drunk woman picking up an infant that a mothr had placed in an empty seat and literally throwing it at him. he caught it (hooray!) and the mother clocked the drunk woman. the police were called. being a a flight attendant seems like such a strange and beautiful job. you're just nice to people all day. even when they are drunk and punching people. did you know that the term "emotional labor" is being mis-used by the way? this article in the atlantic is really awesome - someone sent it to me after this salon article about neil and i split up the so-called emotional labor. it just occured to me because the flight attendants are in there. they do ACTUAL emotional labor. buying christmas presents? not emotional labor.) 

.........

i just took three days off and drove my to the berkshire mountains in western massachusetts to a yoga retreat center to fill my personal gas tank. i’ve been single-parenting ash for the past month and neil is about to jet back to london  for another six weeks or so, and i’m also about to lose justine, our beloved nanny (she’s heading back to london as well, to get on with her life, it’s time)…

so i am drinking deeply of the dada well and getting some sleep and rest while i can. it was also a way for me to mark a year since my miscarriage last christmas - i wanted to return to the same spot where it happened and clear the air a little. 

i read a lot, a sat a lot, i thought a lot. i slept a lot. i wondered if i would cry and i didn’t. i ate my meals slowly and in silence, watching the dark sky. i went swimming in a frozen lake (https://www.instagram.com/p/Br5xDmYAfbB/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=2it363id4f21)

the frozen lake swim gave me a stiff neck. i wondered why i felt the need to go swimming in a frozen lake when i knew it would probably give me a stiff neck. i wondered if i did it just so i could tell people i did it. i wondered why i do anything. i wondered why anyone does anything. i was walking in the fields and found this on the ground. it was a laminated card from a catholic funeral. i didn’t even read the name when i took the photo, i was too mesmerized by the twin-peaks-y wrapped-in-plastic and covered in frost nature of this moment. 

i hopped online to post the photo and the peoples of instragram and twitter informed me that it was saint anne, “patroness of unmarried women, housewives, women in labor or who want to be pregnant, grandmothers, educators and teachers.”

hi anne 

hi anthony 

hi everybody dead and alive.

i shared a figure from a book i was reading about what happens to spider webs when you give spiders caffeine:

i also read michael jackson’s entire wikipedia and followed a lot of the footnote links. 

oh my god. his life was so strange and sad. i think i was probably drawn there for the perspective. like: how weird could my life be when there’s michael jackson? not so weird, really.

(btw: does anybody have a line on a REALLY GOOD michael jackson biography? i wanna read it. i also want a tardis to travel to a few hundred years in the future where i can watch the immensely moving play/movie/musical they make out of the shakespearean /cultural tragedy of his life. i have the feeling that his estate will prevent it from happening in my lifetime).

christmas at home was filled with food and wine and babies and hectic…neil’s daughter maddy showed up and my folks came to town. we exchanged lots of socks and loaded lots of wood into the fireplace. i was so tired and distracted that i posted this photo:

…and because it was late at night and my brain was only half-working, i assumed that the Person Dressed in Black holding ash up to the christmas tree was neil. even though it had been me, like, ten hours before. i’d just forgotten. it was that kind of holiday. i posted the picture to instagram, twitter, and facebook, and delight occurred all around. neil has lost weight. neil has cool shoes. slippers, actually. neil has shaved his beard. neil looks a whole lot like amanda palmer. neil weighed in and corrected the post without actually looking at it himself and stated that the figure in the photo was my stepfather john. this made things even funnier. maddy gaiman then weighed in that, yes, as the taker of the photo, she could confirm that it was me. 

i finally figured it out and corrects the whole thing. i was, indeed, so exhausted that i simply mistook myself for my own husband. is it love, or is it just stupidity? find out at 11. neil gave me a run for my money when he forgot to wrap and give me my christmas present at all, so i got nothing from him on christmas morning. he had left the two books he’d intended for me on my office table where we did all the wrapping. one of the books was one hat i had set aside for him at the local bookstore because i knew he’d probably forget to get me a present. in a winning poetic flourish, it was a book about feminism. our house is funny. don't even bring emotional labor into it.

but also, look at this…it’s one of my favorite pictures of neil of the year. you can see how exhausted he is….but look at the love. he’s here with maddy, his youngest from the first batch, on xmas morning: 

and here’s another one of my faves of christmas morning: neil and little asa (our friend rachel and clare’s baby) in their stocking moustaches. i’m digging it:

and ash & asa were quite enthralled with the marble run that uncle michael (mccomiskey) gave ash...

and there were lots of books given...

………….

oh reminder ....

one fast book really good book recommendation before i forget: 

WHY WE SLEEP

by matthew walker, PhD.

i bought this in an airport a few months ago and just re-discovered it in a bookshop in the berkshires and bought it again, delving deep fast. 

reading it has already changed my life, and i recommend it for any human mammal who sleeps (that’s you!).

my spider figure above was from this book. the writer is actually pretty humorous, for a neuroscience PhD. i wanna see if i can get him on the podcast.

based on decades of actual clinical studies and hardcore research (i think at least a dozen of my friends from cambridge/MIT took part in those cambrgde-area sleep studies that were always advertised around town), it’s packed with science and knowledge about how and why we sleep and it’s just fascinating. i’m rethinking my entire life (especially the timing around flying, jet lag, caffeine and alcohol consumption). don’t read it if you don’t want a rude awakening about your health. some of it is shocking, but also intuitive. if you have sleep problems and you just don’t know why - read read read. if you’re a nighttime drinker or over-caffeinator, read read read. 

thank amanda later.

………….

after the trip to visit aged helen, i’m taking justine and ash off on a well-earned actual vacation for a week - we are heading to martinique since justine legally has to leave the country and we found a decent place to stay. i am going to try to catch up on letter-writing, post-card writing (i owe postcards to you $100 patrons, i brought a stash with me in case they don’t sell any in martinique: ha), and i’ve brough my ukulele for writing. mostly i just plan to spend as much time with ash as i can: the touring season that’s coming is going to mean that i’m away from him a lot. i dunno if you’ve noticed this, but take a look at the pattern of the touring calendar: i’m pretty much touring thursdays, fridays and saturdays. that’s so i can get home on sundays and spend the rest of the week with neil and ash. i don’t know if it’s gonna work, but i hope it does. it means i’m going to spending a fuck ton of time this spring in planes and cars between JFK airport and out house in woodstock (it’s over two hours to the airport). 

maybe i’ll start some airport drive rituals. what i’d really like is a helipad and a biodiesel helicopter. when the patreon reaches 150,000 patrons, i’ll look into it. free helicopter rides for random patrons every hot air balloon season.

speaking of which…have you also noticed that the patron count has ALMOST REACHED 15,000? YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. if you’ve forgotten, just go look at my goals.

 i set that 15,000 patron goal over two years ago never thinking that it would actually happen. naked ukulele request covers here we come. 

……………

and, before i delve into posting the BIG DECEMBER ALTHING…..

a few things/ questions for you….YOU you 

i’m working on a LONG LONG LONG December State of All Things - which will include a rambling reflection from yours truly about the past year and projects and how it all collides…

plus some highlights of what we accomplished in the charity department though this years’ patreon projects (like i did last last year). 

here’s the link to last years end-of-the-year Althing….if you wanna go take a gander:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/many-things-of-15882690

this year will be different, no doubt...i'm working on this one on my own, for starters, to give the team a little bit more of a year-end break...

but while i'm diggin in....any feedback? is there anything in particular you want me to address/cover/talk about?

and while i’m at it: how are you all? 

there are so many new people here and it’s such an intense time of year, and i have some reading time in the next few days. please hit me up with stories, links, thoughts….i’m open for business, and i like reading about y'all.

the beginning of january is going to be a pretty light month since i’ll be mostly resting and building up my psychic reserves for the 2019 tour...but if all goes well i’ll be Thinging at least one or two Things in January, we shall see.

i love you all a lot and i’m so grateful you’re all in my life.

more soon.

xx

AFP

p.s. i’ll remind you in the althings post as well, but THE CUT-OFF FOR ORDERING THE PATRON-ONLY BOOK and COLORED VINYL is currently the 31st. we are working on getting the deadline for the BOOK (not the vinyl) extended because so many people have asked. it's looking promising...hold tight. and meanwhile: the patron-only post with passwords to order all the stuff stuff is HERE: 

https://www.patreon.com/posts/patron-only-will-23250701

------THE NEVER-ENDING AS ALWAYS---------

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