Hai Reckoning...& promised post-tour links for you.... (Patreon)

hallo loves.

another long head-dump, don't mind me. i'll try not to make it too too long and rambling but there is so much rattling around in here.

first-like: thank you for your beautiful/insightful/hilarious/tear-beckoning comments on the Fucking Joan blog. i've missed free-form writing so much and it feels so good to again send out an emotional missive and see heads nodding through the other side of the screen. i posted a truncated version of the blog to my page on medium.com (basically subtracted all the throat-clearing and patreon-specific stuff) so if you use medium, go over there and like & share it with your community. (and by the by, if you missed the last piece i published on medium, two years ago when i was pregnant, called "no, i am not crowdfunding this baby", it's pretty hilarious).

second-like: I AM ABOUT TO THING all the webcast footage, live recordings, and extras from the edward/rainbow tour!! more about edward & tour at the bottom here, but know...that's a-comin. yip, delicious audio and eye-jewels for you. 

.........

und....now......reality. greetings from woodstock, new york, where i am forcing myself to accept the fact that i've agreed - against all logic and previous plans - to live in The Woods for the next five months. don't ask me how this happened....or, i mean, go ahead and ask me, but expect a confused and beleaguered look. it's a reallllly long story. probably one that i need to blog so that i can simultaneously make sense of it all in my head and also not feel like i'm hiding some shameful, weird secret....because i haven't had time and energy to explain myself, and also because i have a famous-ass husband who prizes his privacy at least six times more than i do. but...yeah. we're living in the woods. specifically, in woodstock, new york. there. i said it. for now, at least.

and we're here for at least the next five months/until further notice while neil and i get Fuckin Real and decide where we are going to Permanently Live (on the short list and in no particular order: NYC, Melbourne, Sydney, The West Coast, London, somewhere Warm and Metropolitan and Civilized That We Haven't Noticed Yet Where We Speak The Language And Have At Least One Friend). we will be happy wherever we wind up. but we are currently in "undecided/it's complicated" territory. i love neil. i love my life. i love the baby. i also miss the city. i also miss when our choice was simple: to spend half the year in new york city and half the year in australia, probably in melbourne. i don't think you can do that with a kid, so we nixed that plan. 

fuck it....maybe we will just live on a boat. anybody have a boat? big enough?

and now i'm in for a Season of Renewal and Reckoning. 

i put alllllllll of my time and energy over the last few months getting the I Can Spin a Rainbow release and tour, and now it's an explosion of new beginnings: new manager (hooray!), new assistant (hooray!), and nothing ahead of me but an expanse of time to Deep Clean.

having not actually lived anywhere stable for about the past nine years, i'm actually quite grateful to have created this moment - i've owed it to myself for a long time.

i am not good at stopping. i had a nice email chain with amy cuddy and brene brown (both social scientists and TED speakers) this morning while i was also texting with my musician friend sxip shirey and we were all moaning and groaning about how hard it is to stop. to breathe in. 

i said to sxip: "i'm going so fast i can't hear the music inside anymore."

and i do notice that when i slow down, my own personal radiohead returns. when i stop running and yelling, the sound of my own songs -  the fetal ones waiting to be born - start to emerge out of the static. but i have to slow down enough to listen, and i'm impatient. i like to run. 

this last tour was exhausting and i learned that while i can DO it, it truly sucks getting in a plane and/or train and/or bus and/or cab with a two-year old in order to make it to a gig on time. there were days of this past tour where i was with ash in three cars, two busses and two planes. mostly, it sucks for him to not be playing around like a two-year old should (though it is FUN to watch a two-year old trying to entertain themselves in an airport/train station/bus)....and i don't really want his life to suck.

so this gave me food for thought, and a compass: don't be in a plane with a baby every day this year (or a tour bus, or any kind of restrictive, life-sucking vehicle).

it is therefore time to clean. Deep Clean.

i worry that you guys might suffer a little bit from being on the receiving end of my Deep Clean...like, that thing that happens when your housemate/partner starts cleaning out their desk and closet and is like "oh my god remember THIS? oh my god, have you seen THIS? oh my god i forgot about THIS!"....an interminable parade down memory lane.

i have boxes that i, no shitting, really, haven't unpacked for nine years. some of them haven't been unpacked for three years. some of them...i don't know. there are, in total, about fifty boxes. from tour, from our last rental. they are going to be unpacked this summer.

i'll tell you what i find. i might make art and Things out of what i find, who knows.

and it's not a bad time, either, whilst sifting through the debris of yesterday, to work on New Music. out with the olde, in with the newe. 

i have drafts and drafts of things to finish, lots of things i want to write, and i've fully accepted that things are going to go at a slow pace for the next half-year while i simultaneously Be a Mother, Try to Write, Release Things, and sort through the wreckage of my fifty boxes. 

here we go. into the boxes.

..............

i ALSO wanted to thank every one of you that came out to the "rainbow" shows.....they were profoundly special to me. i especially loved seeing all y'all patrons take the playing-card-theme and running with it, you freaks.

there were crowns and corsets and earrings made of cards, there were faces, wrists, hands, arms and babies painted with suits, there were cards pinned to skirts, slipped into hats, sticking out of pockets. you are one goddam creative bunch and i love you.   

we stuck around signing after most of the shows, but i also want to apologize that we weren't able to sign after the gigs in london, vienna, paris and prague....i almost always come out to sign, unless something dire comes up like illness, venue or tight travel times for the next show. we shuffle around show start times and venue curfews as much as we can before tickets even go on sale but sometimes unavoidable life things come up. in this case, ash was getting sick, i was fighting an infection, and i played it by ear all four of those nights after the show and decided to go rest my weary bones. forgive. 

and, LASSSSSSTTTLY now that TOUR IS OVER:

the MERCH IS NOW buyable by you worldwide peoples! we've just put some of the tour merch up on the web store...head over to take a gander at the tour shirt (designed by vera poymenova), signed posters and to get whatevers left of the limited edition 7" The Hands EP (limited to a pressing of only 1,111 copies...there's only a handful left no pun intended).  

US MERCH STORE - use this link if you want to order from the main shop shipping out of the US: http://shop.amandapalmer.net. if you have any questions here about your order reach out to customercare@amandapalmer.net  

UK/WORLDWIDE MERCH STORE - use this link if you want more international shipping options: http://ukshop.amandapalmer.net if you have any questions, drop a line to alex, team afp's resident merch queen, he'll sort you out: alex@amandapalmer.net  

and please please please.....check out edward/the legendary pink dots and patrick's music, they both have tons of records up on bandcamp....   

edward ka-spel high on station yellow moon 10" record (i'm on this!!!): http://www.stormingthebase.com/edward-ka-spel-high-on-station-yellow-moon-10-vinyl/  

more of his music HERE on his solo bandcamp: https://edwardka-spel.bandcamp.com/ and most of the Legendary Pink Dots catalogue here: https://legendarypinkdots1.bandcamp.com/  

and if you loved patrick q. wright, our violinist, his bandcamp is HERE. i did a little guest vocal on "asylum relapse".  https://patrickq.bandcamp.com/

i'll remind you about all of this after you worldwide people watch the wonderful webcast. that was a lot of Ws.

okay. i love you.

over n out.

xxxx

AFP

---------THE NEVER-ENDING AS ALWAYS---------

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