Home Artists Posts Import Register

Content

Hi everybody,

I have travelled to Riga, Latvia, the city where I was born, to speak at a TEDx conference. When I was invited, I felt out of my depth, but agreed to do it anyway. I've worked hard to put together a strange little talk during the past few weeks and the whole time, I've teetered between having a lot of confidence in it and thinking it's complete trash and I have nothing coherent to say...

Right now, 2 days out from the event and thousands of miles away from any resources to change my talk's visuals, I'm kind of in the latter state of mind. I think there are some major flaws in my presentation and I'm not sure I'll be able to fix them. If I do, there's no time to practice performing the changes. I have no idea how it's gonna go...

But then I think about the fact that I was only invited here in the first place because of what I do. And what I do is only made possible by your generous support. I don't say it enough, but since it's Patreon's "Thank You Patrons" day, let me say thank you so much for hanging around and helping me make videos!

Can't wait to return home and get back to it.

Files

Comments

Anonymous

Just be yourself 😊

Anonymous

Give 'em heck dude.

Anonymous

If this talk is anything like...well, everything else you've ever published, then it's going to go great! You are genuinely inspirational Alan.

Anonymous

You got this cap!

Anonymous

You've got this, Cap. Don't worry! Just do what you do best and you'll do fine. I can speak from experience when I say to trust your creative gut and do what you know you do well.

Anonymous

Yeah but like, we love what YOU do, forget all them expectations of you.

Anonymous

Very grateful to be able to support what you do. Do you know if this talk will be posted online in the future? I suspect you're not giving yourself enough credit...

Anonymous

Of all of the amazing creators I follow you by far have the highest quality/confidence ratio :). You'll be amazing.

Anonymous

You will do great, I can and I’m sure most of us can relate to how you’re feeling. Being a perfectionist means that nothing is ever quite “good enough” by our own standards. I watched your talk at the Blender conference, and if your TEDx talk is half as good it will be educational and very entertaining. Good luck! We’re all rooting for you :-)

Anonymous

Everyone is their own worst critic :b You'll be absolutely fine! It won't be your best work and it's good to embrace that. The major flaws you think are there are probably not that bad. There will be people inspired by your talk. There will be. Do it for them c:

Anonymous

Hey you! I'm a patron because you are my FAVORITE Latvian-born video wrangler of Armenian heritage! on Youtube At least in the top five!! So HAH! Seriously - I like your work not just because you have great insight and information about digital video and debunking. It is because you are a neat human being, and it shines out of your videos and work. DO not confuse that with being perfect or ultra-cool or being a rocket surgeon or Buckaroo Banzai or nothin' I think you are a swell presence on You-tube. That's why I want to support what you do. Look, if even 50% of the time you think your TED talk is good, and the other half the time you think it sucks, that sounds like you are a genuine human being that gets scared as shit about saying stuff in public. This is not a guarantee you'll have a great time - you might find the whole experience awful. But your light will shine, regardless. You sound like a human being to me. Rock on, dude!

Anonymous

I don't think I've ever seen someone with a higher quality/junk ratio. So even if you have truly bad gig, hey, that's still 100 wins to 1 loss. But knowing your usual standards of quality, something you think is truly unsalvageable is still probably perfectly fine.

Anonymous

I don't for a moment doubt that they will love your presentation, Cap. Even if it isn't what you imagine will wow them, it most likely will because they're not as intensely involved in what you do day to day so are going to be much less critical than one would be about their own work. So breathe, imagine they're all in their underwear (not sure why/how that helps) and try to have fun. They will, you may as well do so too.

Anonymous

You are the reason I log into YouTube... well, you and instructional videos on fixing my motorcycle, but mostly, you!

JoeyVFX

You got this!

Cassandra Gelvin

They invited you. That means they want to hear what you have to say. That means they've seen your stuff, or at least heard of you. Remember that most of the audience will have no idea who you are, and they'll have no baseline of how awesome you can be when you have a month or two of preparation to compare it to. Maybe that doesn't sound as supportive as I meant it to, but really, most of your patrons are here because even if you spent half as much effort as you do on what you make, it would still be awesome. It's your heart. It's what makes people watch your Blender tutorials even when they don't use Blender.

Anonymous

Break a leg! They'll love it, and remember to explore.

Anonymous

It's normal to have self-doubt sometimes, but it'll be ok. We believe in you and support you.

Anonymous

Have peace and joy, and give our regards to the city that brought you forth. That's all I can see worth attending to. Everything else is, well, whatever.

Anonymous

❤️ x 100000000

Anonymous

You somehow always seem to tell a story in a way that says "yeah, that crazy, creative stuff going on is uniquely from Cap Disillusion's mind" while also making it coherent and engaging. The hard part with trying to nail putting ourselves in work is always the anxiety of "wait, will this even make sense to people?" I can't remember any instances where I thought "gosh, Cap did that poorly" or "I... don't really get what he was going for." On the flip side, there's been many times where I've been impressed, surprised even, by how you've communicated something. Often causing me to consider what made it so effective so I can have greater impact in my own creative endeavors. I guess what I'm trying to say is: you have so much passion for what you do that it's almost impossible to get wrong, instead you usually just end up being inspirational.

Anonymous

So, will the talk be in Latvian? If it's in English I hope you upload it, because I'm sure it will be great.

Tom Leys

I love what you do. Just keep being you. You're really good at telling a fun story and being both entertaining and informative at the same time. Even if it all starts to fall apart, I'm sure it will still be unique and memorable. I love what the captain and his assistant have managed to do in the past, it was content like that which brought me to your channel in the first place. I do my small part to help give you the freedom to decide every day how to be the most you that you can be. Please just give your all and enjoy the moment and we could not possibly ask for more.

Anonymous

Thank you & good luck!

Anonymous

It’s that insecurity that makes a good VFX Artist. I’m sure it’ll be amazing <3

Anonymous

Haaa Alan! Don’t let the captain critics to get on you! Thanks to thanks your Patreon, but you know, we would not be there to give you support if you were not there at first! We give you support because you gave us incredible material to want to support you doing even more, so Thanks you Alan, thanks you Captain! And Captain, please this time be kind to that poor Alan who is going back to where he was born to talk about you and feel insecure about what he is going to talk about, so be less selfish than usual, ok? You know well than without Alan you would not be there!, because nobody would host you as he’s been doing for the last dozen of years! Alan, good luck, you are way better than you think, it will be great, just don’t stress and do it as casual as the Captain would do! Thanks for amazing us with all your videos!

Zachary Decent

There's a reason all us Patreons support you for just doing what you do. Go show them your Disillusion flare

Anonymous

You’re gonna be great! Tell yourself that that nervousness is actually just excitement.

Anonymous

I am sure the talk will be great. 😁

João Gouveia

Dude, your presentations are such a joy! I'm sure it'll be great! This insecurity is normal and is part of what makes you so good at what you do but don't let it go over your head too much! Remember to try and have fun! And enjoy Riga!!! It's a great city :)

Anonymous

You got this, Captain! Good luck!

Anonymous

This is so exciting for you! We are all here because of you and who you are and how you do your thang (sic).

Anonymous

So exciting! Ive watched the talk you did previously and that one was great! Entertaining yet informative. Will you be filming this one and uploading it to your channel? Always interested in watching your vids in this format.

Anonymous

In this age of credulity, Captain Disillusion is one of the most important voices on YouTube. I look forward to seeing the video from TEDx.

Anonymous

Get 'em Cap! If you aren't able to make last minute adaptations maybe it is a good thing. Stick with your plan and sell it as is. If it is the zero hour then don't second guess anything just go in strong. Cheers and enjoy the TEDx talk!

Erin Flanagan

i'm so stoked for you! it's going to go great- we all believe in you!!

Anonymous

Your instincts about why you were invited are correct. You'll do great.

Anonymous

You will do just fine, every time I watched your extra YouTube appearances you exceeded all expectations. You have a solid knowledge in your field(s) and a skeptical mind. No doubt in my mind. Congrats, relax and try to have fun 👍

Anonymous

Your self doubt isn’t a sign of looming failure, it’s evidence of your exceptional insight and talent. Ignorance is bliss. You’re a fantastic speaker and presenter and people will be thrilled to hear from you, even if the talk isn’t perfect in your eyes, it’s good enough. Love and best wishes from the UK