the adults table (Patreon)

“I like to beg,” I tell him
And I mean it
But what I don’t say
Is that I’ve spent my life begging
For the truth
For trust in my capacity
For honesty when it’s hard
And that I don’t like to beg that way
“I’m a big girl,
I can handle it”
I say it over and over
As if I am 7 years old again
Begging to sit at the adults table
And I am the first to admit
I wasn’t always deserving of the ugly truth
A beautiful lie was all I could bear
But I’m grown up now
And I’m expanded now
And I’m worthy now
Of seeing things as they really are
And I don’t want to keep saying it
I don’t like to beg that way
Anymore