Firebug Text Exchange (Patreon)

Editing is eating my brain and I'm still super behind. Wee? Wee. But I needed to write something fun to get my brain back on track, and since I didn't feel up to working on a whole chapter, I figured a text exchange might be fun. It's been a minute since I did Team Firebug, so here you go!

Also, Patreon has been rolling out a new chat feature. Would that be interesting for anyone? I'm happy to chat books and things on there and maybe it would feel like less pressure for any of you to chat with me that way? (People seem to think messaging me on here asking too much from me, which it is not.) Anyway, I thought I'd see how everyone was feeling about it before I set it up.

I'm also now realizing I've never done one of these with Uncanny characters, have I? I should probably do that soon.

Happy Friday! --Lish

Halloween Party (Team Firebug)

Ezra: *sends picture* I need eyes on me.

Ava: Does that mean you need our opinion on your costume, or that you just want us to look at you?

Ezra: Yes, and of course. You should always look at me. I’m a feast for the eyes.

Lock: Someday I will learn to mute this chat.

Lock: Your costume is…um…I’m sorry, but what, exactly, is your costume?

Ava: Okay, good, because I couldn’t figure it out, either. I mean, I like the gray mini dress and the red ping pong balls—bonus point for have two of them strategically placed, but I have no idea what the takeaway is supposed to be.

Ezra: I’m Sexy Covid.

Ava: …you’re what now?

Lock: Too soon, my dude.

Ava: Why sexy? Why?

Ezra: Any costume I wear is sexy by default because it’s on me. I thought we all learned that from the horse costume last year?

Lock: Right. I didn’t expect to have to confront anything about my sexuality that night for sure, but I feel like I came out of it a better man.

Ava: He did make a sexy horse.

Ezra: See? So, sexy Covid.

Ava: I’m not sure a plague should be sexy.

Lock: I’m not sure Abraham Lincoln should be a sexy costume either, but you can order one online.

Ava: Sexy costumes have gone too far!

Ezra: Sexy costumes haven’t gone far enough!

Lock: I really do need to learn to mute this group chat.

Ezra: We could make it a group costume! One of you can be a sexy doctor or nurse.

Lock: The other can be a sexy health insurance company making everything worse instead of better.

Ava: That’s a deep cut. How would one dress as health insurance?

Lock: Cape, top hat, mustache that you twirl. Done.

Ezra: A literal mustache twirling villain. I like it. Villains are always sexy.

Ava: Okay, I call sexy health insurance. I want a cape and a mustache to twirl.

Lock: Fine, I’ll be a sexy nurse.

Ezra: You can take my blood pressure anytime. Rawr.

Lock: You got it, hot stuff.

Ava: service denied.

Ezra: what?

Ava: Our doctors on staff have decided that your procedure isn’t necessary. If you’d like to file an appeal, you need to fill out forms 3-184B, as well as forms 191-254, and turn them into our office. Our hours are 1-1:15 PM every third Thursday.

Ava: *twirls mustache*

Lock: Stop it. You’re scaring me. It’s TOO REAL.

Ezra: Maybe we should make Ava be a sexy plague doctor instead.

Ava: Too late. I’ve already ordered the mustache.

Lock: *mutes chat*

Ava: Awww, you’re no fun.

Ezra: It’s okay, I’ve already slid into his DMs with like 15 pictures of me in my costume.

Ava: Of course you have.

Ezra: yours, too.

Ava: *sighs* of course you have.

Ezra: We’re going to get best group costume. I can feel it. Think we can get anyone else in on it? Fitz would probably make an excellent sexy bedpan.

Ezra: Hello?

Ezra: Anyone?

Ava: *mutes chat*

Ezra: Like many artists, I’m not appreciated in my own time.

Lock: Please stop sending me photos of you runway walking as Sexy Covid.

Ezra: Can’t stop, won’t stop.

Lock: *sighs*

Ava: Okay, but like, now that I’ve thought about it, Fitz would make a sexy bedpan.

Ezra: Right?!?