Rough Around the Hedges Snippet (Patreon)

Okay, sent off the next chapter of Big Trouble, Little Necromancer to the copy editor, so that should be up soon-ish. (Depending on Mel's schedule, as she has like five jobs and does this out of the kindness of her heart.)

In the mean time, I thought I'd give you a wee snippet of Rough Around the Hedges from Will's POV. Part of the reason I made Will an arcane piercer is because I had so many good stories from Man Friend's job...and this snippet was a new one. Poor Man Friend--this happened to him last month. For reference, Marjorie in the story is 75 because that adds a layer. (And because the lovely woman Marjorie is based on was also 75.)

Enjoy!

I took off my gloves, stepping on the trash can pedal so the lid would lift and I could drop them in. Marjorie was checking out her new piercing in the mirror, doing a little happy shimmy.

“I love it. What do you think?”

Cassie and Jess both ooohed and aaahed over it, making Marjorie light up even more. They were obviously close and she put a lot of stock in their opinions.

“I’m glad you’re happy,” I said. There was something so gratifying to see someone obviously pleased with my work.

“I am,” Marjorie said. “Thank you!”

And then, in her giddy glee over the moment, Marjorie leaned forward and flicked my nipple. Repeatedly. Flick might not be the right word, but it wasn’t a rub, either. Whatever it was, I froze.

“Is this pierced, too?” Marjorie asked.

Everyone in the room froze for a half of a second before both Cassie and Jess erupted.

Cassie’s eyes were huge. “Grandma! You can’t do that!”

At the same time Jess hissed, “Consent, grandma! You can’t just go flicking people’s nipples!”

Sadly, I’m used to this. That doesn’t make it okay, but there was something about tattoos and piercings that made some people think that touching a stranger was totally fine.

In Majorie’s defense, she looked horrified. “I’m so sorry! I wasn’t thinking!”

“It’s okay,” I said. “Though I do appreciate the apology. Yes, they’re pierced.” I had barbells in both, but you couldn’t see them unless my shirt was tight. “No, you can’t flick them again.” I softened the no, because I didn’t think Marjorie had meant any harm—she was just giddy from the piercing. To be honest, I was just glad she hadn’t tried to punch me. That happened sometimes.

Still, I liked Marjorie and she seemed so upset, and I didn’t want that. I dipped my head and smiled. “I charge extra for that.” Then I waggled my eyebrows at her.

Marjorie cackled. “You! You, I like.” She clasped her hands. “Such a cutie-patootie. I want to pinch your cheeks, but I won’t.” She leaned in. “You know, if you’re single, both my granddaughters are currently unattached.

“Grandma!” Cassie still looked horrified, while Jess had her hands over her face while she cracked up laughing.

“What?” Marjorie asked. “I didn’t touch him.”

I smiled at her granddaughters. “My nana is the same way and I wouldn’t change a thing about her.” I grinned at Marjorie because I also just realized that I actually now had a polite and honest reason to turn the offer down. “As it is, I’m taken.”

Because I had a girlfriend now and she was awesome. I hadn’t felt this goofy over having a girlfriend since I was in middle school.

Marjorie sighed. “All the good ones are.”

Happy Saturday, everybody!

-Lish