Chew Time: Ruh-Roh Bites (Preview) (Patreon)

Once the screen was just her again, Rachel shoved the box towards the camera. “Ta-da! We have Ruh-Roh Bites!”

Another cut occured, shifting to a closeup scene of the box on a rotating pedestal. It was green with orange lettering, a very crude, clearly off-brand image of Scooby on the front. The dog was holding real-looking/Photoshop-placed, dog bone-shaped crackers in his paw.

Rachel's voice chimed in from off-screen. “That's right! Named after our favorite dog's catchphrase, these mysterious, thick cinnamon treats are a real-life mystery! Last Spring, boxes appeared on grocery store shelves in Oregon. There were only a limited amount though, and no one knows how they ended up in the stores.”

The screen returned back to Rachel, still holding her box and gently stroking it. “But once their effects were known and Warner Bros. caught word of their existence, these were pulled from the market under threat of lawsuit and even trademark infringement… or copyright violation.” She shrugged. “One of those two, I think.”

She held the box up. “Buuuuuut, by then, it was too late. Most of the boxes were bought and have been bouncing around online ever since.”

Rachel eyed it with a wide grin, giving it a shake. “And now, I have one myself! It costs a pretty penny, but you all know me, how could I not? This stuff is going to be well-worth it!

“Now, enough backstory and buildup, you dog-loving fanboys are all here for a good show.” She cracked open the box and pulled out the gray bag. Even with how dingy the bag was, the treats inside could be seen. They were very similar, perhaps even identical to the Cinnamon Snack Bones that were licensed.

“And now, we begin with my patented sniff test!” The camera began zooming in on her face until only her head and the top of the bag could be seen. She opened and leaned into the bag, taking a nice, simple sniff of it.

The results were almost instantaneous. Her nostrils, then the tip, and finally the rest of her nose were engulfed in blackness. It had a glossy, bumpy texture to it, but otherwise still seemed fairly human.

“Mmm, cinnamon!” Rachel remarked, not seeming to notice. She took another sniff of the bag, one that was longer. Her nose twitched and shifted, nostrils pushing in closer to the tip as the entire snout grew. It was more bulbous and canine in shape.

Her eyes narrowed, looking down her nose. “Oh! I can see it!” She reached up and poked her snoot. “Buuuuut, I think we know that honker isn't “proper” size yet.”

With a wink, she leaned further into the bag. SNOOORRRRT! Her sniff was heavy and thick, almost like a dog. Her nose wobbled a lot like a piece of Jell-O before it ballooned. It took up a good part of her face, jutting out away from it until it was nearly half the size of her fist.

“Hehe, now that proper cartoon dog size!” Her eyes narrowed in again as she felt her snout. It could almost fill the palm of her hand.

The camera slowly panned back out to show her at the table again. “Looks like we got the real deal here!” She turned her head and lifted it, presenting her nose in all its big glory with pride. “A honker this size from just a whiff! Love it!”

She gently stroked her sniffer. “But, as fun as this is, a snoot this good needs something to go with it.” She faced forward again, eyes still on her nose. “And to get effects like that…” Her hand reached into the bag and pulled out a few treats. “…you gotta eat for them, obviously!”