Pupper Scouts Cookie Sale (Preview) (Patreon)

“And weeeeeeee're…” BLUUMP! The two hip and butt bumped each other, their sizable bottoms shaking. They got close, side to side and boob to boob. “PUPPER SCOUTS!” Their plump, plush, oversized paws did jazz hands as a bunch of confetti exploded behind them, vanishing as soon as it hit the ground.

Toons… Virginia was absolutely disgusted. The dog named Jessie was a short, bright pink springer with pointed glasses, the other, Valerie, was a fairly tall, orange husky. The two had the brightest of smiles on their faces.

However, she paid no attention to that. Such vulgar, whorish figures! Both of them had huge breasts, wide hips, and probably gratuitously big bottoms stuffed into ill-fitting, Girl Scout uniform parodies. Toons weren't like this when I was growing up.

She internally snorted, the corner of her mouth twisting. They also stayed on TV and movie screens where they belonged too.

The Puritan woman felt nothing but rage and contempt for them. Horrible, absolutely horrible, wicked creatures. She eyed their chests briefly, noting how much their uniforms hugged them. What if children were to see these pornographic th-things?!

A particular bit of anger bubbled more than the others. What if Susie was home? Oh! They would corrupt her poor frail mind! They’d lead her down a horrible path, I know it!

However, Virginia wasn't going to explode. Not yet at least. She cleared her throat and spoke slowly. “I'm going to have to ask you to-”

“We're selling COOKIES!” Jessie declared very loudly. She reached behind her back and pulled out a big cardboard box, nearly shoving it in her face.

“Yeppers! Yuuuuummy cookies!” Val opened the box and pulled out two smaller, seemingly knock-off-looking boxes of Thin Mints and Samoas. “All cookie profits go back to support fellow Pupper Troops and local community volunteer services, such as food pantries and shelters for those less fortunate!”

“Eat sugary delights and feel good about yourself at the same time!” Jessie added.

The duo sighed, their tails wagging eagerly. “Awwww, its livin’ the dream, we tell ya!”

Hrrmph, such a mockery of real Girl Scouts, I swear! Virginia remained disgusted. Her heart hadn’t been moved one bit.

Though, there was one thing that caught her attention. “Shelters?” she muttered, “Mrrumf, what kind of shelters exactly?”

“Oh yes, of course! Specifics!” Val's eyes sparkled. “This time, a part of our sales go to raising money for Jennifer Welcomes. If you don't know, they're a place that-”

Disgust became contempt. Virginia knew of that place well. Raising money for such a vile place full of freeloaders and degenerates?! Her hands clenched. They're trying to raise money for people who would corrupt my daughter into an unhealthy, immoral lifestyle!!

There was no more trying to be “nice”. “Leave right now!”

For the first time, the two toons looked surprised. Their tails slowed down, confusion settling on their faces. “Is something wrong?” Val asked.

“What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG?!” Virginia spat, “How could you possibly not know what's wrong?! You two groomers are trying to corrupt the good children of our country by funding freak organizations that'll indoctrinate them with vile, filthy beliefs! You two are just public meances!”

The two dogs said nothing. In fact, it felt as if all noise simply died. The world was eerily quiet. The two stared at her, their tails frozen in place.

Virginia could feel a cold chill in the air. Wh-why are they looking at m-me like that?

Their stares lasted an uncomfortable, eerie amount of time before they eventually looked at each other, frowning. “Well,” Jessie huffed, “Someone is being a grumpy, meanie, ugly pants!”

“Indeedie doo, Jessiepoo!” Val nodded, folding her arms.

Virginia felt some of her nerves return when they looked away. “Wha-what did I just say? I-I want you hussies to leave!”

The orange toon looked back, her expression much softer and with a big grin. “Ahem!” she giggled, “It's Husky, not hussy! Silly billy, wrong doggie!”