Suggestions for Patreon Exclusive Art (Patreon)

(This post is going to get a little rant-y but I want to get this off my chest)

It has always been my intention to semi-regularly post Patreon-exclusive commissioned artwork based on my stories. Unfortunately, recently I've been having trouble finding artists who are a) available b) accessible c) produce work of sufficiently high quality and d) won't charge an arm and leg for a simple black-and-white sketch.

Don't get me wrong. Good artists - whether part-time or professional - invest many, many hours into their creations and should be paid a fair price that reflects their skill. And many artists simply don't have the time nor energy to accept every commission thrown at them. They do NOT exist to draw whatever you want for next to nothing.

However, commissioning a piece from a popular/talented online artist can be...tiresome these days. 

Here's how you'd think it would work:

Customer: "Hi there! I'd like to commission a piece of art. Here's a description following your guidelines."

Artist: "Sure! I probably won't get to it for a few months since I have a lot on my plate but I can do it for $150.00."

Customer: "No problem. I understand. Is PayPal okay?"

Artist: "Yep! Send it to my email and I'll contact you once I finish the preliminary sketch."

Here's what actually happens:

Customer: "Hi there! I'd like to commission a piece of art. Here's a description following your guidelines."

Artist: "I'm not accepting commissions. Read my journal."

Customer: "But you just posted several pieces a day ago. And they were titled commissions 45-51."

Artist: "Half of those were commissioned from over a year ago. The others were commission slots that were announced on my dA and discord pages four weeks ago."

Customer: "Uh, those slots were snatched up 30 minutes after you made the post. All of them were from people who have been commissioning artwork from you for years."

Artist: "First come, first served."

Customer: "When will you next be accepting commissions?"

Artist: "When I feel like it."

Customer: "Uh, okay. I see you have a Patreon and regularly post Patreon exclusive artwork. Do I get to request a piece of artwork if I pledge the highest tier for a month ($50.00)?

Artist: "No. That just unlocks my Patreon exclusive artwork."

Customer: "Uh...I see you regularly post artwork that was requested on Picarto. Can I join the online stream and request something?"

Artist: "Only top-tier Patreons are allowed to make requests on Picarto."

Customer: "Okay, I'll join your Patreon and make my request on Picarto. When is it?"

Artist: "Sundays at 12 AM. Keep in mind that I only drawn 2-3 pieces. If you win the lottery during the Picarto, you get to make a request."

Customer: "...How many people are usually on the stream?"

Artist: "Over 50. And one of the requests is reserved for one of my regulars who has been paying me an ungodly amount of money since I started out. And if one of my artist friends joins the Picarto, one of the slots is reserved for them as well."

Customer: "Well, at least it's only $50.00. Maybe I'll only have to pay that much."

Artist: "You still need to pay $200.00 for the artwork if you win a slot."

Customer: "You know what? I'm going to go with someone else."

Artist: "GAH! All of you are goddamn parasites! Drawing is my job! With everything going on you should be thankful I finish twenty requests a year!"

Okay, this IS a bit of an exaggeration...

...In reality, the artist wouldn't bother responding after the first inquiry.

But yes, commissioners can absolutely be dicks about it too (and are usually worse) - pestering artists, failing to pay them, begging for freebies when it clearly says no requests, etc. 

My point here is there IS another side to it...

Now, in all seriousness, are there any artists who accept commissions out there who you would like to see illustrate a Patreon-exclusive scene or character from my stories? And which ones? I've been looking for artists for over a week or so now with little success and I thought I would check with you, my Patrons.

You can message me or comment on this post.

Cheers!