A Mythical Match Up - A Jubilant Jinn part I (Patreon)

Note: This is not one of the 2021 Story Requests but a story I have been working on for a while. It was intended to be a one-shot Mythical Match Up story but, like many others, it grew too long and I had to split it into two parts. Enjoy!

Callum shifted uncomfortably in his chair, trying to ignore the sharp pain emanating from his lower back. He tapped the backspace key a few times, deleting a snippet of errant code, and then stared at the screen, suddenly at a loss at what to do next. He flicked the mouse wheel and scrolled up through seemingly endless lines of functions, assignments, if-thens, literals, comments and scalars. It was starting to look like nothing more than a meaningless mish-mash of characters and numbers. Suddenly he realized he was, contrary to his mandatory thirty-minute ergonomics training, hunching in his seat.

"Goddammit," muttered Callum so softly even he barely heard it.

Grimacing, he sat straight up, reached back and massaged his aching vertebrae. It didn't help. Giving up, he leaned back and just sat there for a time, listening to the hum of his computer fan and the muted tapping on his neighbors' keyboards. His eyes and head were starting to throb - a telltale sign of an impending migraine.

"Not now," he moaned, rising.

He staggered a few feet from his desk and limped out of the office. Upon reaching his company's small kitchen he grabbed a styrofoam cup from a nearby water cooler and filled it. He then retrieved a tiny plastic tube from his shirt pocket and opened it. There was only one ibuprofen rattling around inside. He popped the pill in his mouth and swallowed it along with the water.

Then, Callum heard footsteps. A figure appeared from the hallway to his left. Callum turned to see who it was.

"Hey man," said Petyr, smiling. He was carrying a black nylon lunch bag.

"Petyr," said Callum, forcing himself to return the smile.

He noted Petyr's cleanly pressed khaki trousers, freshly starched light-green collared shirt, immaculately-cut short black hair, trim figure and clear hazel-green eyes. He then glanced down at his own worn shirt, frayed blue jeans and slight paunch, felt his stubbly chin and then felt a little worse about himself. And Petyr. He turned to toss the cup and empty painkiller container in the trash. When he looked back, Petyr was still standing there. He realized with a sinking heart that Petyr wanted to engage in conversation. And was expecting him to start.

"...How are you doing?" said Callum slowly.

"Doing great!" said Petyr with infuriating cheerfulness.

"You...uh, still with that girl - whatshername...Mai?"

"Oh, for sure. She's incredible!"

"Cool, cool," said Callum. He hesitated. "Uh...you know, I've never actually met her. Or seen her," he added, somewhat nastily.

"Huh? Oh, she lives a fair bit away." said Petyr, shrugging.

"Like Canada?"

"Uh...not that far," said Petyr. "I mean, she's just never had a reason to stop by the office."

"Do you have a picture of her on your phone?"

There was a pause.

"You don't believe she's real?" said Petyr. He didn't sound angry or offended. Just curious.

"Do you have a picture of her or not?"

"I don't need to prove she's real, man," said Petyr, smiling again. "And I don't need to show her off. What's up with you today?" He cocked his head. "You feeling okay?"

"I'm feeling fine," said Callum wearily.

"Uh, no offense bud, but you don't look fine," said Petyr, chuckling.

"Well, sorry," said Callum, his voice acquiring a sardonic edge. "Some of us don't have time in the morning to play dress up, shave and spend thirty minutes picking up a coffee at Dutch Bros. I left work yesterday at 8:50 PM and I've been here since 7:05 AM but Theo still gave me the evil eye for technically coming in late. So, sorry if I look a little shabby, but unless I get my module finished by the end of the month he's is not going to be happy."

Callum grimaced and rubbed his temples. The pounding in his skull had gotten worse as he had spoken.

"Geez, man," said Petyr, shaking his head. "Want me to say something?"

"No," said Callum quickly. "I just want to stay under the radar." He gave Petyr a bitter look. "Maybe if I had a little HELP with integration..."

"Sorry, but we won't be hiring anyone until the next quarter at the earliest."

"I meant you," said Callum sharply.

There was a long pause. Somewhere in the office, a phone rang.

"Er," said Petyr, taken aback. "I mean, I'm busy writing the specs for marketing and documenting the alpha. And, hell, it's not my job anymore, man."

"If you're so busy why did you spend half of the morning talking with two guys from sales?" said Callum sharply.

"We were discussing the specs!"

"Petyr," said Callum, giving his coworker/supervisor a bitter look. "I really, really hate to admit this, but you were a better coder than I was before you went over to the dark side. I need help with this! And if I spend one more hour in that torture chamber I honestly may need to go see the doctor after work."

Petyr was silent for a time. He regarded Callum with a strange mixture of frustration and sympathy. Finally, he spoke. "Do you have any vacation time?"

"Huh," said Callum?

"Vacation time."

"Oh, uh, yeah, I guess. Never use it. Don't have the time."

"Well, I think you should use some," said Petyr firmly. "If you're really feeling like shit you should leave early."

"What?" exclaimed Callum. "No. No-no-no-no-no," he said, almost fearfully. "That'd be even worse. Forget what it might mean for my performance review. Theo would have me drawn and quartered."

"I know he can be tough," said Petyr patiently. "But as long as you justify what you're doing he's pretty reasonable."

"Are we talking about the same man who yelled at us just because we didn't wear a tie when those clients were visiting even though it wasn't in the dress code? And we had no idea they would be visiting that day?"

"Okay, usually reasonable," said Petyr. He paused. "Tell you what. Take the rest of the week off. With the weekend that's...five days. I'll tell him you needed to take some time off for health reasons and that you needed to use some vacation days before they expired. Hell, it's basically true."

"Are you listening to me? He won't care. I'd be going AWOL in the middle of integration. I'd be committing a cardinal sin of software development."

"We don't do crunch anymore," said Petyr firmly.

"Yeah, right," said Callum, rolling his eyes.

Petyr's lips tightened. He looked around the kitchen for a few seconds and then threw up his arms.

"Dammit! I'll cover for you, alright?" he half-shouted.

"Wha...Really?" said Callum.

"Yeah, really."

"You're not just messing with me?"

"I can't actually finish the integration, but I CAN debug what you already have," sighed Petyr. "The module is finalized, right? You were just integrating it?"

"It'd make no sense to debug it before it's fully integrated."

"I'm not getting into that debate again," said Petyr. "Look, at the very least it'd LOOK like I was doing your work and that would make Theodore back off. It's not like he has any idea what we're actually doing."

"Heh, true," said Callum, managing a real smile. "So...you'll do it?"

"Yeah, yeah," said Petyr, shrugging. "Shouldn't be too bad. Just check in with Carol and log out before you head out. I'll break the news to Theodore."

A wave of relief passed over Callum. The pain in his head even seemed to lessen.

"I owe you big time, man," exclaimed Callum happily. "Oh man, I am going straight to bed when I get home."

"Yeah, fine, whatever you need," said Petyr, nodding. He hesitated. "Uh, you know, why don't we go out for drinks this Friday? You should be better by then, right? We haven't done anything like that for ages."

"Huh?" said Callum distractedly. "Oh, no thanks. I'm probably just going to crash at my place and play some Destiny or try out the Back 4 Blood beta. Order out, you know."

Petyr frowned.

"So, to take time off from staring at a screen all day...you're going to spend your whole vacation staring at a screen at home?"

"There's a difference between pounding code for ten hours straight and shooting zombies," said Callum resentfully.

"Both give you migraines."

"Christ, Petyr, I'll be fine."

"Yeah, well..." Petyr trailed off. "Just do me a favor and...I dunno, try something new? Go for walk? Trivia night at the F Street Pub? I hate to sound like an afterschool special but try to get out of the house or at least your comfort zone, all I'm saying." He brightened up suddenly. "Oh! I know. Have you tried that app I sent you?"

"You mean that crappy fantasy dating sim?" snorted Callum. "I stopped playing those things when I was sixteen. Besides, based on what I saw, I could find a better game on Newgrounds."

"It's not a dating sim."

"Okay, an RPG, whatever," said Callum. "Look, man, I need to get going, so-"

"It's not an RPG," continued Petyr patiently. "Just try it. It...helped me. A lot."

"For fuc-...just tell me so I can say no and go home," said Callum wearily. "You tell me to cut down on my screen time but now you want me to mess around with some dating sim?"

"I..." Petyr looked uncertain. He cleared his throat. "Look, you said you'd owe me? Try out the app, that's all I'm asking. Once you've had a chance to rest up. I really think it will help with, well, everything."

Callum glared at Petyr. He was met with a look of sincere concern, though for a moment, Callum thought he saw a mischievous smirk flicker in and out of existence on Petyr's face.

"Fine, I promise," he sighed. "Can I go now?"

* * *

By the time Callum woke up the following day, it was already too late for breakfast. Or lunch. Dinner would not be out of the question.

After an extended hot shower - by which time his migraine had entirely subsided - Callum heated a frozen burrito in the microwave and grabbed a can of caffeinated ice tea. He slumped down in his well-worn sofa and devoured his meal with gusto. Satisfied, he reached for the game controller.

Suddenly, his phone buzzed.

"Damn it, better not be work," he muttered, pulling the slim device out. "They shouldn't even be in the office now."

It wasn't work. Not exactly.

have you tried the app yet?

"For the love of...fine, fine," growled Callum, tapping on the screen.

i'll do it now if it will shut you up

Callum closed the message window and opened his apps menu. After scrolling through a few screens he found the program that he had, at the insistence of Petyr, installed over a week ago. The icon consisted of two faces - one human, one apparently an elf - staring lovingly at one another. Callum reluctantly opened the app. After a second or two the screen went dark. The phone grew strangely warm in his hand.

"That's... a lot of processing power," said Callum, if not nervous, then definitely suspicious.

Then, an enlarged version of the app's icon faded in and out of existence on the screen, followed by a message box.

'Welcome to the Realms of Shaltae! Our exquisitely woven thaumaturgic formulae have already pierced the veil separating our realities and found harmonic souls. You may find a new friend, confidant, sweetheart or even your true love. To commune with the denizens of our world, simply touch their portrait. New matches may reveal themselves in time as others in the Realms open their hearts to us. Be polite, honest, but bold! Our clients seek companions who intrigue, impress, and excite.'

"Okay," said Callum, unimpressed. He waited for a few seconds and then tapped the screen. A second message box opened in front of the first.

'This is not a game! Take this seriously and consider the consequences of your words and actions! The denizens of Shaltae are quite real! We mean it!'

He tapped the screen again. A few seconds later a row of digital illustrations arranged like overlapping playing cards appeared. Each depicted a potential love interest. Callum scrolled through the portraits. When highlighted, each would enlarge slightly and display the match's name. If tapped, the portrait would expand to fit the screen and a short profile would appear underneath it. Every match resemebled an ancient or contemporary mythological creature - elves, orcs, dragons, centaurs, mermaids, minotaurs, demons, fairies and the like. All of the matches were at least vaguely anthropomorphic, even those traditionally held to be quadrupeds (or have six legs, eight legs, no legs...), such as the humanoid griffin and slime girl. More to the point, every match was astonishingly, hauntingly, heart-achingly beautiful.

"Monster girls. Real original," he sneered. "Decent artwork, though," he conceded.

He highlighted an anthropomorphic vixen named 'Callie Sevenpaws.' She was shapely - buxom, wide-hipped, but not excessively so - with smooth red and white fur. Though she sported a petite muzzle and pointed ears her head and face were far more rounded than that of a fox. She wore a light-green sarong-like robe that flared out slightly along her chest (apparently to emphasize her cleavage). A verdant forest could be seen the background.

"Pass," said Callum. "Cute, but not my thing."

He ran his finger along the screen. A lithe, pale-skinned red-eyed beauty named "Lisanree" appeared. She had shimmering long ebony hair and wore a tight, shiny leather corset. She stood in what appeared to be a cavern illuminated by glowing bulbous mushrooms, hands on hips, her dark lips locked in a smug, haughty grin. Then, Callum noticed that her lower body gradually transitioned to what appeared to be an enormous, black chitinous abdomen with a red hourglass mark.

"Oh, a drider," he said flatly. "I really wish they'd stop ripping off D&D."

Callum browsed a few more matches. Not all of them were cartoonishly curvy and/or supermodel level beautiful, but they were all quite gorgeous in their own way.

"Fine, I'll bite," he sighed. "This'd better have some payoff, Petyr."

On a whim he flicked the screen, causing the portraits to rapidly scroll past. Eventually, like a slot machine, they slowed and stopped on a single match.

"Hi!!!" began her profile "My name is Cimnendi'ayol, or Cindi for short! I'm a Jinn! I still can't believe there's a whole other continuum of Realms I can explore! I've already visited Earth a few times and would love to visit it again! Will you be my guide? I went to this place called a 'rave club' and it was amazing! I love dancing, Oh, and so many different foods and libations! Humans have such panache for drinks! Blue ones, clear ones, flaming ones ooh I love the flaming ones..."

...This went on for several paragraphs.

It was distinct from the other biographies not only in length but voice, tone and diction. Apart from a few out-of-place words like libations and panache, it read like a stream-of-consciousness reddit post written by a ditzy teenage girl.

As for her portrait, well, Callum actually blushed. It wasn't pornographic. There was no nudity and the outfit she wore wasn't especially revealing or provocative. Yet one would be hard-pressed to label it fully 'safe for work.' Apart from her hot pink skin - slightly lustrous as though she were sweating or had just emerged from a shower - dark pink hair - tied into a tight ponytail - and the pair of tiny ivory horns jutting from her forehead, she looked more or less human, albeit a human with ridiculous curves juxtaposed with a remarkably athletic physique. She wore a long, silky yellow-and-white strapless jumper dress that hugged her upper body like saran wrap. Her possibly F-cup breasts were pressed together like twin loaves of bread rising beneath the fabric. She seemed to be posing for a picture - both arms raised, both hands gripping the back of her head, chest thrust forward, winking at the viewer, her plump lips curved to a cheeky grin. She had sparkling sapphire blue eyes.

Callum sheepishly wiped a tiny trickle of drool from his chin and then tapped 'contact.' A textbox appeared beneath her portrait.

"Huh, a chat-bot," said Callum, his professional interest aroused.

hi there, Cimnendi'ayol, he typed. or do you prefer Cindi?

He pressed 'send' and waited. First a minute. Then two. A chime filled the air. A reply appeared beneath his message.

Hi!!! Cindi is fine! Or Cimnendi, or Cimnendi'ayol, whatever you'd like, cutie! Just don't call me Pinkie! Joking! You can totally call me that!

"Uh, okay," said Callum.

my name is Callum

Hiya Callum! Can I call you Calli?Or Callu? Hah! Callum works better! It's so wonderful to speak with a human again!

Suddenly, Callum grinned wickedly.

"Let's stress test the AI, shall we?" he said.

how many other hunans have you talked with? he messaged, deliberately misspelling humans.

only two so far! I had such a great time with them! Such merriment! Such glee! So many new experiences I wish it were easier to visit your world! Hunans? is that a term you use for your kind? Hunans? Isn't the word humans? I have never heard of it!

"Hm. Well, the spell-check is decent, at least," muttered Callum.

So, you're a Jinn? Like, a genie? Or Djinn?

Of course! You can probably guess which house I belong to.

Callum was about to respond in the negative when another message appeared.

Oh no, wait, you wouldn't! Wow! That's so strange. Everyone in the Realms knows about House Cayol! But you've never heard of us! I forget sometimes!

Callum hesitated. He recalled a series of questions that were supposed to be particularly difficult for a computer to answer from an online article. But anything online could be picked up by a sophisticated AI. Puns and riddles that played on phonetics could confuse bots, as could open-ended questions, but again it had to be something original or obscure. And the bot was clearly a competent piece of programming.

Okay, what's one thing I should know about it? he messaged. Your house?

There was a longer than usual delay before her reply.

That we poke our nose in everybody's business, of course! We are meddlers, manipulators and schemers supreme! Curious as catfolk and sneaky as a selkies!

And you're proud of this? messaged Callum.

Of course! The world would be sooo boring without a little chaos now and then! And we never try to hurt anyone. Well, most of us anyways. Half at least!

Try?

Of course! To do anything one must first try! And we never try to harm. Again, most of us.

There is no try. Do or do not,messaged Callum, unable to resist.

What? That's silly! How can you do something without first trying?

Callum hesitated. It had been a weird experience so far but he decided to go with the flow.

When action and thought are one.

There was a slight delay before the next message appeared.

Whoa! That settles it! I must meet with you! In the human world!

meet me?

Oh yes! Are there...nightclubs where you reside? Bars? Parks? Which city do you live in? I have been to New York, Denver and Seoul!

"Okay," said Callum, bemused.

Uh, sure, there are some clubs around here.

That's great! And don't worry, cutie. I'll pay for the portal as long as you buy the first round!

"What?" said Callum, confused.

A prompt appeared over the message box: It read 'Cimnendi'ayol wants to meet you! Do you accept?'

Callum stared at the screen for a few seconds, then shrugged and tapped 'Yes,' curious to see where this was going. The prompt disappeared and the screen went dark. Then, the Mythic Matches icon reappeared. And then...nothing. Callum waited and waited.

"This is one weird-ass game," he muttered to himself. "The conversational AI is amazing but the interface is garbage-tier. What the hell does Pe-"

A bright blue light noiselessly erupted behind him. Callum yelped and whirled around on the sofa. He nervously scanned the dim room for any sign of danger - a fire, an intruder, a malfunctioning appliance, anything - but saw nothing out of the ordinary.

"A car, maybe?" he whispered, rising. "But the windo-"

A second light - soft and white, probably an incandescent light bulb - filled the hallway ahead of him. The glow was coming from his bedroom. Callum swallowed. Though he hadn't heard anything, it was possible someone had snuck in through the window; he'd left it open to air out the room and the mesh screen could have been easily circumvented with a knife. He looked around for anything that could serve as an impromptu weapon. Seeing nothing, he rose and began creeping around the sofa towards the front door to escape.

Then, a soft sound filled the apartment. Callum immediately recognized it. Someone had turned on his...

"My computer," he growled. His eyes narrowed. "Oh, hell no!" He turned around.

Callum stormed down the hall and threw the door open, fully ready to tackle whoever was inside. When he saw what was there, however, he froze in his tracks.

"Hiya cutie!" exclaimed Cindi in a melodic voice.

Callum gasped and staggered back against the wall.

"Oh, I love that look," tittered Cindi. "Never gets old!"

Callum goggled, heart pounding in his chest. It was indeed Cimnendi'ayol the Jinn from Mythic Matches, in the flesh. She resembled her portrait perfectly, complete with her sleek yellow and white jumper and ponytail. But as enthralling as she had appeared on his phone, seeing her standing a few feet away from him in his bedroom was almost more than he could handle. For one, she stood at about the same height as him, possibly an inch or two taller. Her curvy form looked even more ridiculous in real life, her wide hips, posterior and preposterously buoyant breasts jiggling slightly whenever she moved. Her waist, in contrast, was relatively thin and tight, further emphasizing her hourglass figure. It was clear that although it had been designed to be loose and baggy, her dress could still barely contain her. Both her outfit and skin had a satiny, almost latex-like quality; both shimmered in the flickering light emanating from his computer (which was still booting). This general iridescence extended to her rose-pink ponytailed hair, which hung down to her midriff. Her nose was petite, her lips plush, her cheeks soft, and her eyes glittered with vibrant, playful energy.

Callum could only gaze and gape. A bomb could have gone off in his bedroom and he would have scarcely noticed.

"Aw, too much?" said Cindi mischievously, gesturing at her bombshell figure. She giggled. "Mmm, too much."

Suddenly, her entire body started...deflating. Her breasts, rear and hips shrank in volume and voluptuousness. By the time it stopped she was still quite curvy but no longer excessively so.

"There we go!" she said.

It was about this time that Callum noticed she was floating an inch or two above the floor.

"B-B-Bu...Wha-wa-wa-wa-" stuttered Callum.

"Oh, I hope you don't mind," said Cindi, turning. She gestured at Callum's PC. "I activated your computer. Such interesting devices! So useful! But strange."

"You're Cimnendi!" gasped Callum, finally managing to string together a coherent sentence.

"Sure am, cutie!" said Cindi, grinning. She lowered herself to the floor. "But you can call me Cindi, remember? Or Pinkie! Just don't call me Cici - long story."

"You're...real? This...the app actually does what it says?"

Cindi pouted.

"Aww, this again?" she said, sounding more impatient than annoyed. She sighed and took a deep breath. "Yes, I'm real, yes, magic is real, yes the Realms of Shaltae are real, yes, Mythic Matches can transport us to your world and you to ours, and yes, these," she gestured down at her bosom "Are real."

"Umm."

"Now that we've gotten that out of the way, where are we going?" she asked sweetly.

"Going?"

"You said you would take me on a date! Will there be dancing? I love dancing!"

"Hang on hang on hang on," said Callum desperately, still struggling to come to grips with what was happening. He glanced at the open doorway and seriously considered just running for it.

"Is there something wrong, cutie?" cooed Cindi, leaning forward. "You don't have to keep hanging back like that, by the way. I don't bite. Unless...you want me to." She chuckled.

"We...I can't take you anywhere!"

"What?" exclaimed Cindi. "Why not?"

"Well, I...uh," Callum gulped as he gazed at her puppy-dog eyes and quivering lower lip. "I mean...I wasn't expecting this!"

"Wasn't expecting this?" said Cindi, cocking her head. Suddenly, she laughed. "But that's what makes it fun! Surprises are the best thing in life!" She stepped closer to him. "Now come on. Where are we going?"

Callum could smell her perfume now. It was an intoxicating mélange of cinnamon and sandalwood. He swallowed. The shock was starting to wear off but he still had no idea what to do.

"I...I can't take you anywhere!" he yelped. "You'll attract too much attention! I mean, there aren't any Jinn on Earth...that I know of," he added. "There...most people don't even think magic is re-"

"Ugh, I know, I know," said Cindi, rolling her eyes. She cleared her throat and suddenly started speaking in a rapid, stilted voice, sounding like a radio personality listing the possible side-effects of a new drug. "All denizens of the Realms of Shaltae are obligated to conceal their identities, physical form, magical abilities as well as the existence of the Realms of Shaltae from Earth natives who are not Mythic Matches members, Byteiye LLC employees and/or signatories of the Dennys Compact or their representatives. While visiting Earth, Realms of Shaltae natives must disguise and/or alter their physical form using innate shape changing abilities, thaumaturgy and/or mundane cosmetics to appear human whenever there is a reasonable chance of being observed by Earth natives who do not fall under the aforementioned exceptions. Failure to comply may result in temporary or permanent suspension from Mythic Matches and/or punitive action by the Gods of the Realms of Shaltae and/or Byteiye LCC."

Cindi took a deep breath and exhaled.

"So silly," said Cindi, shaking her head. "Why do we have to hide ourselves from your people?" She hesitated, and then looked up brightly. "Oh, right, that's why!"

"What?" said Callum.

"Lucky for you I can change my appearance!" continued Cindi. "So we don't have to buy any silly potions."

She snapped her fingers. Her skin lightened from hot pink to light pink to pale pink, ultimately transitioning to a limestone skin tone. Simultaneously, her hair darkened, going from lavender to purple to jet black. Her small horns shrank and disappeared. Finally, the strange iridescence effusing her body and clothing faded.

"Ta-dah!" said Cindi gleefully, posing. "Do I look hunan enough for you?"

Callum swallowed.

"Hunan? What ar-...Oh, oh yeah," he said weakly, remembering their conversation on the app. "Uh, yeah, you look human."

"Then it's settled!" said Cindi, beaming. She turned to Callum's computer, bent over and started tapping on the keyboard. "Where do you live?" she asked, still typing. "I want to see what kind of fun places are nearby!"

Callum's gaze drifted down to Cindi's ample posterior. Even reduced, it was putting quite a strain on the fabric of her dress. His face reddened. Then, he glanced up and saw that his desktop had appeared on the main monitor.

"How did yo-...stop that!" he barked, stepping forward and grabbing the keyboard from under her fingers.

"Whaaaat?" said Cindi innocently.

"How did you get in?" he demanded, holding up the keyboard like a shield. "How did you know my password?"

"Oh, that. I guessed."

"You just guessed?" said Callum.

"Yep!"

Callum stared at her. She met his incredulous gaze with a bright smile. Callum gave up. He put the keyboard back down on his desk.

"Look," he sighed, sitting in his office chair. "Putting aside...everything, I'm not the kind of guy who goes to dance clubs or raves, okay? I mean, I hardly go to bars anymore. I just don't have the time or energy. And again, I wasn't expecting this - you," he gestured at Cindi "To be...real. This is too much!"

"Aww, I know I can be a little overwhelming," cooed Cindi leaning down. "Especially for your kind." She looked at him thoughtfully. "So, you're too busy to go anywhere?"

"Yeah," said Callum.

"Even now?"

"Well, uh..." Callum squirmed in his seat. "I actually do have some free time bu-"

"Then why not?" said Cindi, placing her hands on her hips. "You need a night out! I can tell! Untold wonders and pleasures await! Aaaaand I didn't want to say this, but I paid a lot to come here. Come on, it'll be fun!"

"I...I don't know," said Callum.

"Mmmm, tell you what," said Cindi, tapping her foot. "You take me out on one date annnnd...I'll grant you a wish!"

"A...wish?"

"Yep yep yep!" said Cindi cheerfully. "But we have to go anywhere I want! Deal?"

"You can do that?"

"Go anywhere I want?"

"No! Grant a wish" said Callum in astonishment.

"Sure thing, cutie," said Cindi, winking. "I mean, I can't and won't grant any old wish. There are limits to my powers and there are some things I'll just refuse do. So if you want to be the god-emperor of the Realms of Shaltae and Earth, sorry! Buuuuuuuuut if you want to be younger, stronger, or just desire great riches or something boring like that, I might be able to do it."

Callum's mind raced. Was she telling the truth? Could she actually grant a wish? Could he trust her? She had outright stated she enjoyed causing chaos. The whole situation was beyond crazy - a phone app that could contact magical beings from another dimension (who happened to resemble mythological creatures) and transport them to Earth! For dating! He wondered if he were dreaming, hallucinating or had simply gone insane. Assuming this was actually happening, the smart choice would be to politely refuse. There were simply too many unknowns - too many variables.

Then, he gazed over at Cindi, who had opened a web browser. She had already searched for 'fun nightclubs.' She noticed him staring at her, turned and gave him a beguiling smile and kissed the air with her luscious lips.

"Deal," he croaked, excitement welling up within him.