Water Buffaloes (Patreon)

Fred, always looking to take the easy shortcut to get ahead in life, comes home after the conclusion of the weekly meeting of the Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes.

Fred: Honey, I'm home!

Wilma: Did you and the other boy scouts have a good jamboree, dear?

Fred: Oh, hardy har har.  Veeeery funny.  Look, I invited the Grand Poobah and some of the big-wigs over for drinks, so....

Wilma: Ohh, great...fantastic.  You're little Webelos come over, drink every ounce of liquor, and eat us out of house and home.  While I smile and pretend not to be revolted by their dirty jokes -and- getting hit on constantly, I'm trying to avoid having my butt pinched while you laugh it up with the boys.

Fred opens his mouth and raises a finger to get a word in, but Wilma immediately cuts him off.

Wilma: After leaving you passed out in the back yard -again- and having thoroughly trashed the house, they all head home, leaving me to clean up the place.  But not before I have to haul you inside so some wild sabre-tooth cat doesn't drag you off  for a midnight snack.  That sound about right?

Fred: Look, Wilma, this could be good for us.  Don't think of it as a buncha old geezers boozin' it up and moochin' outta the fridge.  We'd be rubbing elbows with the muckity-muck.  Bata bing bata boom, I get a better job offer and outta the quarry, we pay off the mortgage, hire a maid...maybe even one of those new fangled cars where you don't gotta use your feet.

The doorbell rings.  Fred, knowing just how materialistic his wife can be, queries her as he turns to answer the door.  

Fred: How badly do you want a mink coat from Macyrock's...or that huge diamond ring at Buddy Buddy Jewelers you've been lusting after?

Before Fred can even reach out and grab the doorknob, Wilma steps up beside him and wraps herself around his arm, practically hanging off of him.  Flipping one of the straps of her dress off of her shoulder, she pushes her chest out and arches her back, then puts on a convincingly flirtatious smile.  Fred, one eyebrow raised and a knowing smile on his face, looks down at her as he turns the doorknob.

Fred: There's my girl.

Wilma: (as Fred swings the door open) Gentlemen!  Welcome to our humble home.

Original Art by Alex Hiro

Colors and Edits by Phillipthe2