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“Hey buddy, it looks like you’re having a hard day. Why don’t you take care of the small fry, and we can have a chat. Does that sound good, friend?” The armored man’s tone sounded so reasonable. Lightning crackled along my hand, and for a moment, I was about to kill the last of my family. “Why hesitate? You’re already level 23; that takes a lot of killing, maybe even a village worth.” The man said.

From the man’s tone, I could hear the grim smile. Looking at this situation from an outsider’s perspective, I did kill an entire town, and what was one more person at this rate.

“Not to be rude, my man. My name is Red, not that it’s a big deal or anything. Most people do know me by reputation. I’m quite high on the PVP leader boards.”

“I won’t kill my sister. I don’t care how powerful of an adventurer you are.” I said.

The man shook his helmeted head and reached behind his back to grip the handle of an absolutely massive sword. I blinked, and the massive blade’s tip nearly poked me in the eye.

“Role play is fun and all even this close to shut down. But she’s an undead abomination under the control of the King in Yellow. If she’s allowed to get free, she’ll search for the nearest person to infect. After she eats enough people, she’ll become really damn smart. All those blemishes will disappear, and she’ll blend into crowds of NPCs.” Red said.

I stared down the weapon, about to chop me in two. No matter what, I couldn’t back down, no matter how crazy adventurers were outside their legends.

“I’m not playing a role. Black Rei helped me and claimed it gave her a class without a slot. I have no idea what you mean by starting a new game. Please help me save my sister; she’s the only family I have left.” I said.

“It's not fair that the game world’s AI programs are so good at mimicking real people. Black Rei, let me see if she’s even relevant.” The adventurer brought up a stat screen before snapping her fingers. “She’s the crazy Shakespeare speech girl. You said teaching gives a new class and one that doesn’t require an open slot. That is quite the incentive.”

A crash alerted me before a hunk of rotten wood hit my chest, and my sister pushed her head free. “If you teach me, I’m sure you’ll get it too.”

“Aren’t you crafty guy trying to bribe me with things you have almost no clue about to get your way? Alright, let's see what it takes to become a mentor. What do you know of monsters?” Red asked.

I gave the question a moment of thought before answering. “They are creatures mutated by mana.”

“Not at all. This is the end of the world, so no mods are here to censor me. Monsters are creatures created by the DEVs to test their ability to create monsters.” Red said.

The revelation was not something I could even understand. “Why would they do that?” I asked.

“This entire world is a game, and we use it to escape the boredom of everyday life,” Red said.

I looked at my sister, sweet Marie, who used to put flowers in her hair and help me pick fruit. The beings above, even the gods, did this to her for fun. I felt my teeth clench as more roofing fell away.

He seemed to take some kind of perverse pleasure from my reactions.

“Your sister isn’t in that shell any longer. The only way to bring her back is to capture her soul in Carcosa and place it into a new body. What you see is only a puppet of flesh and the King in Yellow’s curse.” Red said.

“How can I trust you?” I asked.

“You can’t either believe or don’t, but either way, one of us will destroy her either before she escapes or after. Between the two of us, you’re the only one who could use the xp.” Red said.

More of the roof fell as she struggled to get her swollen gut free. Yellow stains covered her once brown dress, slowly spreading more like ink on white paper.

“I don’t want to make you feel like you have to do this, but it would go a long way in showing me if you’re worth teaching or not. There isn’t much time left, and I’m not sure if the world will be here when it's gone.” Red said.

I sucked in a breath and let it out. This was even harder than killing the villagers. We weren’t as close as we could have been; their cold shoulder after my sister came down with the yellow death told me all I needed to know. Lightning flashed around my arm as I called upon the spell.

“Help me get to Carcosa so I can save my sister, and I will learn everything you can teach me,” I said.

Red snorted and sliced his blade down. My sister’s body was bisected, and our family home shattered as the shockwave from a single slash passed through it. Wood exploded into splinters as the man sheathed his blade.

“A man shouldn’t be forced to kill their sister even if it's only her body,” Red said.

I rushed over but couldn’t find her body in the debris. Her remains had been obliterated and mixed with the shattered shack I lived in all my life.

“I have nowhere to go back to,” I said.

“This world needs a man strong enough to defend it from the raid bosses unleashed upon it. Even if it ceases to exist for us doesn’t mean it no longer exists. You did good I felt your resolve, and that impressed me. I see what that weirdo saw in you, kid. So I’m going to make sure you have the strength needed to make your mark on the world.” Red said.

I threw a punch, and the man caught it with a finger before flicking me. My head shot back, and I fell on my back and flipped. The speed of the attack had been too much for me to see. I saw the man appear beside me as I stared up at the foggy, sunless sky.

“I miss the sun,” I said.

“Then go South a few hundred miles, and you’ll see it. Apollo would never let a weakling like the King in Yellow block the son in his territory. But be ready for a hell of a fight there.” Red said.

“If he’s such a weakling, why haven’t you killed him?” I asked.

“Times have changed; our age is over, and the restraints the raid bosses once had are nowhere to be seen,” Red said.

As happy as Red was to say things like that, I couldn’t help but think he was hiding the important information. No it was more like I didn’t have the context to even try and ask the right questions. Black Rei was gone, and I had no idea if she would come back or not. She was hard to understand.

“Are you scared?” I asked.

Red shrugged, and that was the most frightening thing I had ever seen. My breaths started coming up shallow, and I didn’t know how to stop them. The adventurer placed a hand on my shoulder before shaking me so hard my feet left the ground.

“I would win, but he would be back, and then what. With no one left to take on the raid boss, he would take over without a problem. My man, I’m the kind of guy that likes to teach a man to fish rather than give him one.” Red said.

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“You’re going to kill him; let that be the final lesson before I go,” Red said.

Suddenly, I wasn’t so sure that I wanted to be anywhere near Red and his teachings. Raid bosses required hundreds to millions of adventurers to defeat; what was I going to do by myself?

“I know you must think that you can’t do it, but let me tell you a secret. You don’t have a choice.” Red said.

…

The village looked just as the villagers left it. I saw a pie still cooling on a windowsill, the same one rumored to be slowly killing old man Jo. Five-time widow Suzie had found 6 rich husbands but had the worst luck with each one of them. I heard the sound of barking not long after my teacher led me back to the place I wanted to leave behind. We were on the main road leading to Sabbath Church.

Remaining here wasn’t doing my guilt any favors. I could have had a life with Yuna.

“Stay close; this village remains in the infection zone.”

“How can you tell?” I asked.

“My man, check your map by saying or thinking map,” Red said.

I did so and saw every inch of the world I have ever explored. All of it was covered by a shade of yellow with tiny splashes of green or red. The areas where I had lived my entire life were fully filled in, while the rest appeared as a spider’s web.

“I’ve hardly explored anything,” I said.

“That’s normal. Most NPCs don’t go far from their villages their entire lives. It makes it easier to find any of you when we need to report the completion of active quests. You’ll be thankful for that, too, if you ever do any real adventuring.” Red said.

“You mean righting wrongs, slaying monsters, and rescuing people in trouble,” I said.

“No, I mean searching out every secret spell, stat gain method, and classes. You have the lightning mage class. You have a few options for specialization. There is the nature elementalist, gale mage, or storm mage without doing any searching for a class that had real oomph to it.”

“What’s the difference between an Elementalist and a mage?” I asked.

“Good question. I love it when my students ask those. We’ll use porn stars as metaphors.” Suddenly, I was far less enthusiastic about learning. “A mage finds a girl he likes, and let's call her Gale, but he isn’t a creep; he’ll look her up online, maybe try some VR, and take care of his needs. Now an Elementalist, on the other hand, he has a taste for a girl like nature. He uses the background in the girl’s VR to find out where the shoot happened. With a little luck, he’ll find her address and find out where she lives, watches her go for a jog, find what coffee shop she frequents, and what kind of guys she likes. Then, after cleverly camouflaging himself to look like the girl, he accidentally bumps into her and starts a conversation. Then, she goes to order, and he does it for her, giving the whole game away.” Red said.

“Are you speaking from experience?” I asked.

“Yes, the Elementalist is a highly involved class that will teach you far more about the element than you ever thought possible. It will open classes like the druid later. Unlike a druid who naturally bumps into nature at the local cyberware installation office, you will know far more about her from your previous class. Nature, after all, bleaches her anus on the Sundays, and only you know that.” Red said.

I snorted at that last one.

“You don’t know a girl until you see how she treats herself downstairs. Oh, we’re here.” Red said.

The black stone of the Sabbath church was the sturdiest thing in town. Priests were always observant of invading goblins or the occasional Orc raid. They had to in order to get their priests to safety. No amount of information given was a fair trade for their passive betrayal. The entire village was gone, leaving only the priests in this ghost town.

“Why are we here? They won’t help us,” I said.

“Nonsense, they love helping so long as you are strong enough to kill them all at any time. Wiping out a few of their churches to raise their respect goes a long way.” Red said.

I was beginning to think Red was a little more unhinged than Black Rei.

The door, a large hand-carved monument to the wealth of the church, remained closed for a time while Red and I waited for a response from the church. The massive armored man raised an armored boot and nudged the door. A blast turned the ornate door into sawdust, along with the priest waiting behind it and listening in.

“I’ve come to resupply, oh, and the boy needs better clothes and some training gear. Have what I need ready in an hour, along with some fresh horses. Oh, and give the boy a few scrolls of healing; those are always useful.” Red said.

I stared as the black-robed priests, the most distinguished figures in the village, jumped to do the man’s bidding. Power seemed to earn its own respect.

“What do you want me to do?” I asked.

“Pay attention. The Sabbath religion will never be your friend; they are against humanity by their very nature. Use them until you no longer need them, and then do away with them. It's for the best they are always trying to cause trouble and raise long-slain raid bosses from the dead.” Red said.

Wait, were they the ones responsible for the King in Yellow. I felt Dragon Lightning charge to my arm before I could stop myself. A massive metal hand gripped my shoulder painfully until I stopped.

“Next time, I’ll just pull your ear. Don’t attack a group ever until you’re ready to put them down. I won’t have you dying foolishly and wasting my teaching.”

“What’s the point if the world ends in a year?” I asked.

It had been bothering me ever since he said it. “I don’t know what to believe. Some say the world will vanish, while others claim this will continue to exist somewhere. A friend of mine believed that if one of us stayed until the very end then we could permanently be here forever.” Red looked at me. “That idealist was taken by his infected wife. He remains here to this day, and I don’t think he can leave.” Red said.

“Why are you so open with me?” I asked.

“My man, we have little time to dance around the issues of the day. Lies will only make your job harder.” Red said.

Red left me to think after that while priests ran around to get everything the man asked for. “Excuse me, sir, we don’t mean to bother you, but you look like a responsible young man.” I stared into the eyes of the very priest who denied helping my little sister. He smiled graciously and sat down while patting the pew beside him. “No need to be so coy. I know you are as human as we are, though you hide it well. Don’t worry about the adventurer, we won’t tell. You should have told me you weren’t human I would have helped that girl to assist in preserving your cover.” The priest said.

I wanted to take my wand and shove it up the priest's ass before shocking him. My hands needed to be around his throat so I could squeeze the life out of him. Every fiber in my being needed to kill this priest covered in lizard scales and expressing a snout and fanged teeth.

“What’s wrong? It's just us monsters here; no need to feel shy? I’ve shown you now you can show me.” The priest said.

The lizard looked perturbed when I refused to sit next to him or express my inhumanity. My arms had redness to them, nothing that would show me as anything other than human.

Slither lvl90

Class: Priest

Race: Lizardman

Description: These are the fuckers trying to overthrow the human race. The sabbath church lizardmen follow the lines of their matriarchal females. Even when one mates with a human male, the child will be considered a lizardman. This information is only available because Slither has chosen to share it with you.

“You are uncomfortable in this very human world. I know the feeling. Increase your charisma through pleasant conversation daily, and you will find it easier to interact and hide amongst the humans.” Slither said.

Was that true was the best way to blend in and even develop my charisma by talking with people and hiding my true self? Red didn’t seem to care how others looked at him. He was loud, powerful, and completely unapologetic. The man was more like a thunderstorm than any human I’ve ever met.

A crashing sound and the winney of horses alerted him to the return of Red. The man looked pleased by his progress, more than enough to give a pleasant nod through his helmet.

“Here, wear these; they’ll help you get stronger in the time we need. If I’m not wrong, they will also help you develop a relationship with your mana.” Red said.

Red’s metaphor was still very much in my mind. “Like a mage, Elementalist, or druid?” I asked.

The lizardman priest perked up at that. “I feel like I am missing a very interesting metaphor. Care to clue me in.” Red happily repeated himself as he had before. “After hearing that, I can only assume that the druid sees nature as a teacher and forms a sexual relationship with her that makes everyone uncomfortable,” Slither asked.

“What kind of relationship am I going to have with my mana?” I asked.

“Your scrolls, adventurer.” A lizardman wearing priestess robes said. It looked just like the priest, with no features I could detect that were different.

“An Elementalist type would learn every little thing there was to know about their mana, including cutting a hole in the outhouse to watch her pee in the morning. A mage is all about the transaction, picking mana up and taking her out for the girlfriend experience. Be ready to spend tons of MP in that case. The druid style is something special; you’re going to let your mana take charge, and maybe you’ll learn a lesson but never be in real control.” Red said.

I missed Black Rei already. She might have sounded funny, but at least she didn’t use insane metaphors. There were so many questions I could ask, but I barely had any context for any of them. Classes were more than specialties like professions; they were relationships with women, and how I tried to get to know them determined the give back or lack thereof. My lightning mage class sounded like something right out of a story, but in reality, I was paying my class for her time every time I used her. Or was this a metaphor that meant something completely different? How far did the metaphor really stretch? Sometimes, Red sounded like a drunk straight out of a tavern.

The armor I wore was a mismatch of items not part of a set; something I forgot to ask about went into my inventory. Out of the black bag Red handed me I pulled a shirt over my head and some trousers.

Black Sabbath Training Gear

Shirt

DEF: 10

Weight 20lbs

Effects

Strength Gain: Gain 1 additional strength whenever a point of strength is gained.

Set Bonus: +5% Physical stat gain speed per piece.

“As I thought, the patches are gone. I bought shirts a larger size up for each one until you hit XXXXL. If you pay attention to the training gear, there are no soft caps on the gear pieces that can be equipped. That means by wearing suspenders, we can pile on the pants, shirts, scarves, and wristbands. Since you’re an NPC, you don’t have a portrait to equip your gear.” Red said.

“I won’t be able to move,” I said.

“We are going to dress you to your limit and put the rest in your inventory for now. Trust me, kid, you’re going to get so many stat points before the days are over. Oh, and drink this.” He handed a can labeled Mountains of Dew Vault.

Mountains of Dew Vault

Description: A legendary potion crafted and named by one of the top ten players, Red. Drinking this potion will increase stat growth rates by 400%, regenerate stamina loss, and increase skill gain chances by 100%. Stat growth effect limit 1000.

Time Limit 24hrs.

The bubbling vial was surprisingly not hot to the touch but cold, as if chilled. I downed it, and the countdown started immediately. A pleasant spike of satisfaction flowed through me, and I suddenly had a burning question. “How strong is 1000 strength?” I asked.

Red scratched his armored helmet like it was a beard, causing the metal to screech. I cringed away as the man continued obliviously.

“That depends on your skills and perks. A mage with 1000 strength could never beat a warrior with 1000 strength. Until you hold that kind of power in your hands, it's hard to say. At a thousand strength, I could cut through the hide of most dungeon bosses. In a raid, it might keep the shockwaves from enemy movements from blowing you away. Having less than 1000 strength in a raid is like trying to fuck a girl in the ass with no lube. Sure, you can pull it off, but it will be a pain for both of you.” Red said.

Once again, the metaphors keep coming and I had no way to parse them. The word lube had something to do with oiling knives to keep them from rusting, but what did that have to do with sex. While Black Rei was complete confusion Red liked to mix metaphors with the information I needed. Apparently, Elementalists were too devoted to their task, and druids were beholden to their element. Mages were soldiers on leave paying the coin they earned for a good time.

The gear I was given to wear was beyond heavy.

STR +1

STR 11

Red took a look at my status and made some changes.

“There, you’ll only receive an update every 10 points. Let's grind you some stat points, oh, and be sure to talk to any traveler we meet on the road. We need to work on your charisma as well. Asking any ladies you meet to go behind a bush and have sex will only help your charisma.” Red said.

I stared at the shameless man. “Am I going to go to gambling halls to raise my luck?”

“That depends on how much do you like shellfish. I’m joking; you’re an eldritch; of course, you like shellfish. Your goal is to reach Carcosa, and mine is to pour all the hard-earned knowledge I have into you. Take a step and try to feel your magic. It should start around the base of your stomach.” Red said.

I lifted a foot and nearly fell over as the leg bands weighed me down. Every scrap of clothing I wore had a weight to it and runes that weighed heavily in another way.

Sweat poured down my face and back as I struggled to take a second step. I wasn’t getting tired; the Mountain of Dew Vault made sure of that. Instead, I had all the agony of lifting something heavier than the old stump in Mr. Gregor’s yard back when I wanted to be a soldier like my father before me without the weakness of exhaustion. My muscles strained, and I felt my own private hell. The runes on my gear shown brighter, becoming heavier with every step as I struggled to move.

“You’re trying to eat a girl out while holding your breath. Breathe.” Red said.

When Red said he was going to try to impart all his lessons to me, he meant all of them.

“Do all of your metaphors have to be sexual innuendos?” I asked.

Red tapped at a screen before nodding. “At this rate, we’ll be at our destination a decade from now. We need to get moving. I want to ride a horse one more time before I can’t.” Red said.

“Fuck the horses,” I said.

“No, that’s a bad student. Get a hold of your mana. I’ve given you all the pressures you need. Use that high wisdom of yours and get with the program. Find a girl being harassed by goblins, plus a second step equals sex. Do the math, you have it; wear weighted clothing plus a second step equals walking normally with a skill. You’re a mage, so mana is your hired goblin actors and lube; get with the program.” Red said.

Red was not a nice person, as it turned out. What he was saying wasn’t completely insane only mostly. I was somewhere in the first step, but there were preparation steps before and an unknown middle step that was up to me. Mana started in my stomach, apparently, and not in my head where I sensed it. Alright, the second step was up to me; all I needed was to get a feel for my mana.

I ignored my stomach as my teacher suggested because this was my step. Feeling for my mana didn’t really do what I thought it should. I had no special sense to search for the source; it was more like my mana had been there in the background doing its own thing. When I focused on it, the entire mass of energy stopped what it was doing, acting more like a dog than a force of some kind. Sweat continued beading down my face, and in my mind I cursed Red for every bead of sweat and muscles burning. Stamina regeneration was bullshit. My sweat had turned from normal clear liquid to the yellow-green of Red’s potion.

My leg twitched as I took a step. “We’re going to need to pump you full of more supplements at this rate. Take a look at your health.”

Atom lvl23

Class: Lightning Elementalist lvl23 +2INT +3 WIS per level

Race: Human/ Old Blooded

Perks:

Ancient Seed: +5 increase to MP multiplier

Ancient Sprout: +5 Increase to MP Multiplier

Heaven’s Spear: All lightning spells have piercing.

Heaven’s Wrath: Equip Lightning Spells to any weapon. If unarmed, equip them to your body. When dealing damage, unleash spell effects on enemies.

Human: Welcomed in all human settlements and +2INT per level

Old Blooded: Gain access to Eldritch-only classes and gain +5WIS per level

Second Strike: All Lighting spells hit twice.

Spirit Seed: +5 Increase to MP Regen Multiplier

Spirit Sprout: +5 Increase to MP Regen Multiplier

HP: 2000/2,300

MP 47,840

Stats

STR 11 (+9 Pending)

DEX 10 (+5 Pending)

VIT 10 (+3 Pending)

INT 104

WIS 199

CHA 10

LUK 10

“Oh, you really have an Elementalist class that’s interesting. I hope you know leveling the class beyond 50 requires the upgrade of lightning-based skills.”

My head pounded at his words upon learning that I couldn’t kill more monsters to raise my level after a certain point. Every painful throb let me feel the power of the dog in my head as the energy flowed from my brain to my nerves as I moved each muscle. Suddenly, like the dog saw a bone, the energy flowed from a single stray thought.

Lighting Skill Unlocked

Tactile Telekinesis Tier 1 lvl1/9

Description: Mana flows from the mind and transforms into psionic energy in the nerves, and the firing of nerves controls the output of that energy.

Effect 1: Increase the muscle strength with telekinesis.

“The man can do more than wiggle around and hope he makes an impression,” Red said.

I turned and punched out, striking Red’s armored chest, doing nothing but hurt my hand. With a rush of air, my body moved before I put any thought into the act or had a chance to rethink my actions. My mind had the bright idea to start a fight with my trainer, and my body had already gone into battle mode before the thought reached my waking mind. For a moment, I waited as the armored man stared down at me. Death was second away, but the armored man only stared.

“We will need to work on your control. Nothing a few miles of running can’t fix. Don’t worry, you won’t have to keep up with me; that’s what the horses are for.” Red said.

I blinked, and suddenly, I was ten feet away from the armored man. My mind couldn’t keep up with my body. The sheer amount of mana flowing in through my mind was too much for my body to keep up with.

“You’re like a woman squirting for the first time.”

“Stop with the messed-up metaphors and similes.”

A casual backhand from my teacher launched me through a series of pews before I stopped in a broken pile of them. Some of the priests began playing on the old piano while a lizard woman yelled out a vocal.

“No, this isn’t a boss battle merely chastisement. Let me try again, then. You have no control over the amount of mana infusing your skill. Your optic nerve is still a nerve and is empowered by your skill. With time, it, too, will adapt, allowing you to control your vast physical power. Until then you need to learn to infuse small amounts of mana into your skill at a time. Try infusing parts of your body instead of all of it; experimenting with your skill will help it level and eventually tier up faster. Here is a primer on skills: read it on your own time.” Red said.

The primer appeared as a message on my screens. I opened it, and Red sighed. “Or read it right now while I wait. Surely, I won’t take that out on you. Go ahead; you won’t have much time to read while we travel; this isn’t aerobics.” Red said.

Skills leveled 1 to 9 as they were used and required a feat of power to tier up to the next level. Whether that was lifting something extremely heavy or using the skill differently than expected, tiers affected the tier up. Effects were only given on tiers 1, 5, 8, and 10. How the skills were used determined their effects. Skills grew stronger with use and were the bullwork of a player's power base. Stats supplied the power, skills were the motive force, and spells were often machines that force went through. Even warriors had spells, though they were different from how I recognized them.

Red tied a rope to me behind five horses and gave me a potion. “Now I know you’re going through puberty, and looking at horse asses can mess with you. Try not to get a centaur fetish.” Red said.

With a jerk, the rope he tied to me pulled as I was yanked forward and forced to use my skill to keep up under the weight of my training gear.