89: Nicolai, Ear of Kindly Sympathy (Patreon)

Outside, he set Kleos onto a handy table where it could watch proceedings. John started towards him but Nicolai waved him off. ‘A moment,’ he said, pulling Jo into a quiet corner of the main area.

‘I’m guessing you’ve not told her about what you had to do, to get all those Seeds,’ he began, his voice quiet, below the hearing of the others.

She shook her head, mute, her emotions a writhing mess of guilt and self-loathing.

Nicolai frowned, momentarily uncertain. Something had to be said. He was not the right person for this kind of talk, far from it. But there was no one else so he would have to do. He hunted around for the right words, picked out and discarded them one after the other, growing increasingly unsure. He wasn’t equipped for this kind of thing. But then his Mask reached over his face towards his mouth, but it didn’t attempt to seize it. It simply offered some words. These words felt right, they made sense to him.

‘You did what you had to do,’ he told her firmly, and put an attempt at a comforting hand onto her shoulder. Her head tilted and her gaze met his own. His Mask worked his face, crafting his expression, heart going out to the sad little creature.

‘You did the only thing you could think of in an impossible situation. Everyone’s dying out here, but that’s not your fault, is it? She’s your sister, the only one who matters, right?’

She sniffled and put her hands to her face, all scrunched up. But he felt her emotions and knew his words had touched her, that she was receptive.

‘Right?’ he said, more forcefully.

‘Right.’ She managed a tiny nod, and her mental state was pulling back together, prodded and poked back into place by his words.

‘It’s just one chapter of your life. It happened, no changing it. But, now we move forward. You are going to have to tell the truth. It’s coming out eventually, I can’t keep protecting you forever, and until she knows she’s going to keep coming at you. She might be unhappy, she might even hate you. But she’s alive. That’s what counts, isn’t it?’

‘Hate me?’ Her face somehow folded even further up, and she shook her head, mouth in a miserable pout, tears leaking from her eyes. ‘I did all this for her.’ The misery and guilt he felt from her was transforming, and he immediately recognised what it was turning into. Anger.

Uh oh, he thought, while his Mask cringed. They’d misstepped. Could he salvage this? He had a vision of his two loyal subordinates at one another’s throats for the foreseeable future, a schism as deep as the love that had once bridged it. Not an ideal working environment. He grimaced, uncertain, his Mask equally so.

He surmised that Beth had recovered because her Soul Sense was creeping towards them and he slapped it, suddenly tired of dealing with her incessant attempts to get into her sisters head. It flinched away and fled. Jo’s anger was now a sullen bonfire.

Could he craft some kind of perfect lie? He didn’t see a way. Oh well. It was said that time heals all wounds. Perhaps that would turn out true. He puffed his cheeks and gave up. ‘Go on,’ he said to her. ‘You’ve got a discussion to have.’

She didn’t need any encouragement, and he saw her dashing away her tears and fighting her face into order as she turned and stomped to the door.

‘Alright then,’ he said, approaching John and Cait. ‘We’ve made some new friends,’ he murmured, wincing as Jo slammed the door behind her.

‘What was happening in there? Who is she? Why’d she freak out at us?’ asked Cait.

‘One of them had just finished integrated their Seed. It’s a messy process. Rude to watch.’ He arched an eyebrow at her and she quirked one of hers in return.

‘Who are they?’ John pressed.

‘This is their place. I followed one of them, found them here. Cut a deal.’

‘What kind of deal?’

‘The mutually beneficial type. We work together.’

‘What about your plan, to find a place? Your reason for sending the prisoner out?’

To tell the truth, or to lie? It seemed likely to him that they’d eventually work out that Jo was the infamous sniper. People had been talking about her on the radio, an omnipresent threat guarding the bridges. If he lied, and then they found out, it wouldn’t be a good look for him. They might start thinking about what else he’d lied to them about.

But if he got into the whole thing, explained she was the sniper, well, he’d set them all against her. On the one hand, a welcome distraction from the lingering distrust some of them felt toward him. On the other, after the predicted schism between the sisters he was worried that then receiving the groups hostility and judgement might just send her over some kind of edge. He certainly didn’t want his new minion to kill herself, that would be quite a loss. He also didn’t want her upset with him for spreading dirt on her to the others.

‘It’s a bit messy. Let’s talk about it later, with them.’

Before they could ask further questions there came a muffled barrage of angry words screamed from behind the door.

Everyone froze, tense and confused. Another scream of rage was dully heard from behind the door.

‘Siblings, right?’ Nicolai interjected lamely into the silence, only to be overwritten by a new shriek. He sent his Soul Sense out towards the sisters, to check they weren’t about to try and kill each other or something similarly stupid, and found a wall made of Beth’s angry Soul Sense that immediately beat back at him.

Interesting. He surged forward, surrounding and corralling it. She fought back stronger than before, gaining feet in the spiritual world, but he still found it easy, pushing until he’d forced it back where it had come from, into her.

Beth was moving. The door burst open and the girl stalked out. He was relieved to see her cleaned and clothed. Her face was a mixture of rage and horror and guilt and, well, all kinds of things. Nicolai was feeling an even more confusing mix bleeding from her Soul, but it was mostly anger.

‘Get off me!’ she screamed at him, then turned around and howled into the room, ‘I wish you’d just let me die!’ She slammed the door.

 She stopped, staring around, finally seeming to notice all the others. ‘Who the fuck are all of you?’

Was this the same pale, wan creature who had inhabited the bed, whispering meekly from behind Jo? It seemed the argument had woken up the real Beth. Nicolai found himself liking this version more.

‘My friends.’ Nicolai gestured expansively. ‘Your new roommates.’

‘I hate her!’ she hissed at him.

‘Why?’

‘She killed so many people!’ Her face collapsed into a sob. ‘For me!’

The others were staring back between Nicolai and Beth, all of them looking entirely confused. However, his Soul Sense felt a kind of instinctual sympathy from almost all of them.

‘And so, you get to live,’ he said to Beth, and shrugged. ‘Don’t go killing yourself,’ he warned her, suddenly worried. He couldn’t really do anything if she chose to do so, hadn’t thought of putting that in the Contract. He supposed it wouldn’t have made any difference. It would be a real shame if he lost her, as she looked to be a real asset, if she could only become a little more realistic about things. ‘It’s a tough world, she did what she had to,’ he said, feeling his way around the conversation, trying to work out the right things to say.

‘I didn’t want this, I’d rather have died. She lied to me.’

‘Well, mostly she killed Chosen.’ He had no idea as to the exact ratio of Chosen-to-not-Chosen Jo had been sniping, but the words sounded good.

‘Chosen?’ She frowned. ‘The bad guys the woman on the radio talks about?’

‘That’s right.’ He nodded, smiling. ‘She did everyone a favour. Let me tell you, they deserved it.’

‘The woman on the radio also talked about the sniper, how she was killing so many people,’ she said, one hand to her face, shaking her head, tears glistening on her cheeks. ‘And that’s her. My sister. The sniper.’

There was unified gasp of shock. Everyone was exchanging glances and a sussurrus of muttered words rose. Nicolai’s Soul Sense spread over them, and he let out a quiet snort. They were all rather titillated. Nothing more fun than observing someone else’s drama.

‘Your sister is the sniper?’ It was old Ben.

‘That’s right.’ She scowled at him, and Nicolai felt her expectancy of receiving their judgement and hatred.

Instead the old man stepped forward, and wrapped her in a hug. ‘It’s ok, it’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything.’

Beth sobbed into his shirt.

Nicolai couldn’t help but scoff, feeling the old man’s words were just as meaningless as his own. Old Ben shot him a glare.

‘So that’s it!’ Cait announced, like a detective who’d just found the final clue. ‘She shot the prisoner. You used him as bait. You followed her back here.’

Quick on the uptake. ‘That’s it.’ Nicolai spread his arms wide in a shrug, and grinned, at this point beyond caring about the matter of the prisoner. ‘The life of a traitor in return for safety.’ Old Ben could to press him on that if he wished, he knew the others were unlikely to care about the prisoner’s fate. His Soul Sense pushed into the room, investigating the state of Jo.

‘You lied to us, then,’ said Ben.

‘How’s that?’

‘When you said you were going to let him free.’

‘I didn’t say that to you,’ Nicolai pointed out. ‘I said it to him.’

‘What difference does—‘

‘Eh.’ Nicolai lifted a dismissive hand, tuning the old man out, his focus on what he felt from Jo in the other room.

 The girl was, in his opinion, doing worse than her sister. He sighed, a little pit of irritation forming inside of him at just how messy and demanding were the needs of humans. But his Mask firmed, and pulled at him. It said that none of these people would show her any kindness, not right now, so it fell to him.

Was she a “bad person” for what she’d done? Sure, probably. It was a debate that could go in a multitude of ways, something he had no doubt the others would enjoy having endless circular arguments about. But so far as he was concerned, she’d acted as many people would, put in the same situation.

Humans care most about those closest to them. His studies had told him this was only natural, the result of evolving to live in close-knit familial and tribal units. But more importantly, he was in no position to judge her, to judge anyone, and found himself free to simply offer the sympathetic companionship his Mask told him she needed.

He left Beth with the others, knowing they would be kind to her, and stepped into the room containing Jo, closing the door behind him.

###

Nicolai and Jo sat on the floor. Jo leaned against him, her face buried in his chest. His clothes were wet from her tears. It had been like this for some time. As soon as he’d shown a little quiet sympathy, she’d folded against him. He felt her emotions, a raw ragged wound, her mind a ship searching for any safe berth in the storm. His Mask pitied her. Nicolai, finding the experience of offering comfort exceedingly novel and deeply human, was quite pleased with himself.

As they sat there, he observed things outside with his grainy Soul Sense vision and the diluted, under-water hearing it gave him. The others were crowded around Beth, asking questions and offering comfort. When his Soul Sense brushed over individuals he could feel their various judgement. A confusing mass of opinionated sensation. From observing them talk in this moment, and his occasional interactions over the past days, he’d now learned all of their names and had a rough idea of who each was.

‘Do you think your sister is dangerous?’ John was asking, all serious.

‘Dangerous?’ Beth frowned at him. ‘No.’

‘She’s a murderer, ought to be in jail,’ Sara—the older woman—sniffed, sitting against the wall, holding Katie—the quiet little girl—beside her. Typical protective hovering.

‘We can set aside a room,’ chimed in old Ben. ‘Lock her up until this world is civilised enough for a trial.’

Nicolai fought down the urge to laugh. Old Ben would be waiting a long time for that civility.

‘That’s not gonna happen anytime soon,’ said Karl, shaking his head, glancing at the others. ‘But we need to do something,’ he added meaningfully. Beth frowned at him, and Nicolai felt her burgeoning understanding, a wary shock. Karl looked next to John, lowering his voice. ‘Plus, there’s the other issue.’

‘He’s helped us, Karl, he got us here,’ said Cait. ‘He might be a bit… off-kilter, a bit odd at times, but I believe he’s honest in his intentions towards us.’

Nicolai felt Perro working up his confidence, saw with grainy spirit vision the boy open his mouth, trying to push the words out. John was about to speak, but looking around the man noted Perro.

‘Go on, Perro.’ John smiled at the boy.

‘He’s a good guy,’ managed Perro.

‘He’s alright,’ said Azure, rolling her eyes beside him.

Nicolai was not at all sure how Perro had managed come to the conclusion he was “a good guy,” but he appreciated the vote of confidence regardless. His Mask told him he had a duty to match up to the boys expectations. He told the Mask he only had a duty to match up to his own expectations.

John nodded. ‘He’s helped us.’

‘He’s insane!’ hissed Sara. ‘A vicious murderer. Such people aren’t fit for this world.’

Significantly more accurate. Surprisingly on point, in fact, thought Nicolai. But fit for this world or not, I’m here to stay. A smile creased his lips.

‘I think we should remain wary, for now. But so far, all things considered, he has only helped us.’ Old Ben wore a frown as he let these words out.

‘People like him are needed, in this new world,’ chimed in Elena—the distractingly enhanced woman with a tazer—lounging against the wall on the other side of Katie, staring at the ceiling. She snorted. ‘And the old world, too. We’re lucky he’s on our side. Same goes for her sister. So judgemental, all of you.’

Nicolai found himself liking this one more and more.

‘Whereas you are completely useless,’ snapped Karl. ‘No experience in anything but laying on your back—‘

‘You shut up!’ Cait responded on Elena’s behalf. ‘You’ve no right to say anything to anyone, not now.’

‘I’ve got experience with her type, and your type.’ He sneered, glowering at her, then turned to the rest of them. ‘We ought to act now, get her before she’s ready.’ He was practically jumping with eagerness, Nicolai could feel it, something similar to some of his own urges. An urge to act, to do something.

‘What are you talking about?’ Beth said, staring around at them all. ‘You’re not hurting my sister.’

‘I thought you hated her?’ Karl frowned at her.

She frowned back at him, wordless, and Nicolai felt the girl’s Soul Sense move away from them, coming towards him and Jo. He let it come, and it settled around Jo, the little bonfire of misery.

And something interesting happened. He felt a sudden welling of sympathy and guilt and terror leak from Beth’s Soul Sense. She sprung to her feet.

‘No one is touching my sister!’ she yelled. Karl tried to catch her, and he was fast, some under-skin augments aiding his movement, but he was slowed by surprise and she was fast, too, darting away, crashing through the door and coming into Nicolai’s view. He wordlessly shifted away from Jo, leaving a space which Beth quickly filled.

‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry,’ wailed Beth, clinging tight to her sister. ‘I’m sorry!’

Nicolai shook his head as he left the room. He closed the door and headed towards the others. People never ceased surprising him.

They all stared at him. Karl and Ben suspicious, Sara with fear and loathing. John, Cait and Elena, thoughful. Perro and Azure, with something approaching interest and friendliness, even a smile. Katie, the little girl, with curiosity.

He sunk into a squat before them, glanced between John and Karl. ‘No one’s hurting the sniper.’

‘Is she dangerous?’ asked John.

‘Not now she’s done what she had to do,’ he answered. ‘The girl told you, didn’t she? Beth was ill. Only cure was for Jo to finish Beth’s Seed. That’s why she did it.’

‘You can’t know that,’ said Karl. ‘You’ve known them no longer than we have.’

‘If she does anything, I’ll stop her.’ Nicolai shrugged.

‘You’d watch out for us?’ asked Cait.

‘’Course. We’re a group, right?’ He smiled at them.

Uncertain glances. Some unhappy frowns, but a few tenuous smiles. He was winning them over. His Mask was happy, a kind of contentment. He thought it was a bit too early for that, but he let it have it.

‘Keep in mind, this is their place, her place, which you have kindly been allowed into. You’re a guest here, Karl. Show some respect, or they might toss you out.’ He flashed his teeth at the man.

‘Toss me out?’ Karl arched a singular brow. ‘I don’t think so.’

‘I might help them,’ said Nicolai.

‘I might, too,’ muttered Elena, and smirked when Karl glared at her.

John cleared his throat. ‘I, uh, wanted to say.’ He paused, frowned, firmed his face. ‘We all want to say, we want to thank you. For helping us. We might’ve been a little unwelcoming, untrusting, before. But we agreed, you’ve proved your good intentions.’ He shot a warning look, skating across Ben and Sara and Karl. Then he turned an actual, honest, friendly smile on Nicolai. ‘So, welcome to the group.’

Nicolai’s Mask flared with joy and grinned back in return, while Nicolai thought that his plan to usurp leadership of the group from John was progressing nicely.

Everyone smiled. Mostly. It was what people called a “good moment.”

‘I’m hungry,’ said Katie, tugging at Elena’s arm, who bracketed the girl along with Sara.

‘Ah,’ Elena stared down at the girl, then around at them. ‘Sustaining seeds?’

John tugged one out of a pocket, weighed it in his hand. ‘Last one,’ he said.

Nicolai observed them, keeping to his silence. Thinking. He turned to aim a glance at the door with his two new recruits behind.