Super Sales on Super Heroes 5 -Ch28- (Patreon)

As the plane touched down, Felix felt frustrated.

He’d have preferred to fly here by Dragon, but other than Goldie, they were all out talking to the various nations that’d responded. Every single Dragon Maiden was on a mission.

They were each carrying a few individuals to conduct Association business with a nation. Deliver the team and paperwork, provide security, then travel back when complete.

More countries than he’d expected had reached out to him, so they’d had to be very selective about who to see, and in what order. That meant Felix himself had gotten involved with a few of the bigger factions that needed a bit more “face-time” as it were.

The first was the European Union.

While they didn’t technically have a location they called their headquarters, they did have a building they often met in for their summits. A building that was located in Brussels, where Felix had been asked to step in front of several representatives and hold a discussion on what the association was offering.

The United Nations had asked for more information, to which Felix had of course responded. Though he was disinclined to go speak in front of them.

From what he understood of this world, they didn’t have much in the way of power, nor could they really enact any type of policy that’d benefit the Association.

The European Union had more policy-making power that could possibly limit what he wanted to do across the globe. The UN would probably become tied up in itself if they tried to move against the Association.

Especially since his outreach had garnered a response from every single member of their Security Council.

Several pings sounded off from inside of his helmet sitting on his lap.

Letting out a sigh, Felix knew he needed to put it back on now that they’d landed. Unfortunately, he still had to protect his identity. While he was able to pull it off for the flight, he did need to wear it.

On top of that, he’d clearly just been reconnected to a satellite signal that Tribune controlled. The pings were the result of Tribune connecting, downloading, and uploading, all at the same time, to his armor.

Picking it up, he pulled it down over his head and waited for a moment as it settled itself, locked into the armor, and the HUD flashed. It scrambled itself from the bottom to the top with random characters, and then settled to what he expected.

“Legate,” Tribune stated as the plane began to turn after it’d slowed down considerably. “Your location is incorrect. Unable to triangulate due to interference. Attempting to correct.”

Huh?

Felix raised his eyebrows at that and looked to Andrea, Gaia, and Faith who were all with him on this mission. The former was sleeping in her chair, with a bag of chips spilled across her lap and the floor in front of her. The latter was reading something on a tablet.

Gaia was staring off into nothing as she was wont to do at times. He imagined that she spent a great deal of time in the mortal world while simultaneously living in whatever realms that deities did.

“Gaia, are we where we’re supposed to be?” Felix asked.

“Uhm?” asked the beautiful woman, turning to look at him. She blinked twice, then gave him a smile. “We’re always where we should be my Champion. You’re my Champion, I’m your goddess. If we’re together, it’s exactly as it should be.”

“Not… not what I meant,” grumbled Felix and then looked ahead. “Tribune, any luck at all? Maybe the planes transponder? Local Wi-Fi might tell you where we are?”

Tribune was an amazing VI, but there were times when a simpler solution could be overlooked given her limitations with adaptation.

Amazing program, limited by her programming. It’s her tools that can facilitate her ability. Tools can be far more adaptable than she can.

I’ll need to make sure I keep providing her with more tools. Those extra programs she always wants more of.

“Yes, Legate. A local Wi-Fi has an SSID that has given me a location based on its naming convention and service-model,” reported Tribune. “They’re not part of the global network and are not on the internet.

“You’re currently in the People’s Democratic Republic of Kadasz. It is likely your plane was hijacked mid-air, or the pilot has taken you hostage.”

“Right… thanks, Tribune,” muttered Felix, getting up out of his seat. His annoyance that Andrea couldn’t fly the plane due to a licensing issue had just grown to a point that he wanted the problem fixed for the future. “Andrea, Faith, Gaia, helmets and game faces on. We’ve been abducted”

Andrea started, the rest of the chips that’d been piled up on her leg-plates spilling down to the ground in front of her. Her head snapping toward him and her eyes trying to focus.

“We’ve been abducted,” he repeated, staring at Andrea. “Don’t kill anyone yet. Let’s see what they have to say.”

“Goodness,” murmured Gaia who’d picked up her helmet and was fitting it down over her head. “I really do find this all rather fascinating. It’s somewhat comical at times how much is always happening around you.

“Darn it. I was hopping I’d be able to let him seduce me tonight. I even wore the underwear Evie gave me and —”

The helmet latched in, and Gaia’s voice went quiet.

Oh thank goodness. I swear if—

“— made sure to shave, too. It’s all hairless like she suggested,” she finished. “I wonder if he’ll use his mouth if I ask? I’ll use my mouth if he asks, so I’m sure he can do the same.”

“Use your mouth!” cheered Andrea, who’d rocketed up out of her seat with her helmet slammed on. Pointing at Gaia with both hands, she nodded her head rapidly. “He loves that! Faith will tell you. She can make him beg for it! I just do it with a lot of energy and often! My technique is awful, but I do what I can!”

Clicking his tongue, Felix looked to the back of the plane. Romina was back there and likely recording something for her channel. If she wasn’t streaming, she was working on something else for it.

Walking toward him, he found her helmet was on, camera turned on, but her rifle was left next to where she’d been seated.

“Ugh… that’s an unskippable cut-scene going in my head now, Andrea,” Juno complained.

“Nnn! Isn’t it amazing? Now that you’re thinking about doing that to him, I should mention the smell. It’s really—”

“Tribune, mute her,” Felix commanded as Andrea spoke. Her voice suddenly cutting out completely.

Her head kept moving around though as if she were talking. Gesticulating with her hands to emphasize something with them. Holding them apart in front of herself, then moving them further away.

Then putting her hands together in front of her face like she was fighting a snake.

Even though her helmet was sealed, he swore he could practically hear her screaming inside her helmet.

“Okay,” Felix murmured, looking to Faith.

“I’m afraid there isn’t a mute strong enough for me dear. You know I’m loud,” replied the Dryad from behind her helmet. “As to the situation, I’m sure we’ll learn more when the plane stops.

“How would you like to proceed? Shoot first? Talk first? You tend to get a little chatty when you’re about to shoot into me, so I’m not sure how you want to handle this.”

Lowering his head partially, Felix looked to Romina’s boots. He really didn’t know what to say anymore.

“I wonder if he’d talk to me while thrusting up into me,” Gaia asked herself. “Oh… I should practice dirty talk I bet. Something like… fill me up? Fill me up Felix?

“Or… harder Felix! Harder! Hm. I like that. Pull my hair, harder Felix harder and—”

“Tribune, her too, please,” whimpered Felix, and Gaia was cut off. Then he sighed and looked to Romina.

“Uhm… I… I don’t… I’m pretty vanilla,” remarked Juno when they were looking at each other. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say anymore. This is all just… I feel like I need to take a vacation and go touch some grass.”

“Yeah… I get that,” agreed Felix. “Think I need to uh… go touch some grass with you.”

“Nnnn! Touch Romina’s grass! Then go touch Gaia, she cut her grass so you could!” shrieked Andrea who was right next to him now. She was now close and loud enough to be heard through her helmet. Her hands were latched to his armor, and she was pressed up to his side.

Closing his eyes, Felix realized his mistake. If he muted them, they’d take that as provocation to get his attention more directly.

Don’t… tease the crazy people.

“Unmute them Tribune and let’s go see what’s going on,” he muttered. “And while you’re at it, any chance of you taking over these networks from my armor?”

“No, Legate,” answered Tribune.

“— could say that I did cut my grass. He’s definitely welcome to touch it. It’s why I cut it,” Gaia finished.

Felix heard a groan in his helmet, and he wasn’t sure if it was him, or Romina.

Or both.

The door to the plane opened and someone called inside in a language he didn’t recognize. At that moment, he also noticed that the pilot hadn’t exited the cockpit area either.

Moving to the door, he looked out and found someone rolling a metal stair up to it.

“You know… you’re like… a walking anti-main character syndrome clap back,” Romina muttered. “I feel like a side-character near you.”

“That just means you’re not a heroine yet,” Faith answered. “I decided to be more than a side character and moved to a Heroine of my own story. It’s a romance where I got the boy. Had to work at it though.”

“Legate! A pleasure to see you!” called a man at the bottom of the stairs. He was surrounded by other men in military uniforms. Around them, and spread out around even that group, were soldiers with rifles. They all had them pointed at Felix and his people.

“Tribune, any chance of their rounds penetrating the armor?” Felix asked.

“Improbable, Sir, but not impossible,” answered Tribune.

Looking to the man who was likely in charge, Felix noted he was of some type of eastern-European descent. With dark hair, blue eyes, and a cold smile. He was in his forties, from what Felix could tell, though quite trim and fit.

There was a lack of humanity in his face and eyes. As if he viewed every single person, tree, blade of grass, and ant, as his, and was sure that any and all of it could be rightfully bought and sold without a concern.

“You’ll forgive me if I’m not pleased, but I don’t know where I am, who you are, or why I’m here,” Felix answered, then came down the ramp. All rifles were pointed at him now. “You might want to tell them to stop aiming those at me. Pretty sure there’s going to be a giant golden death machine showing up.

“Any aggression could be misinterpreted. She’s… not very gentle once she’s determined that there’s an issue.”

Laughing, the man looked very amused at this. Extremely so. Gesturing to one side, he said something in a different language.

A jeep-like vehicle sped toward them from off to the side.

“Do you mean this one?” asked the man, his arm still pointing toward where the vehicle was coming from.

“She landed ahead of you while we secured the airport and you were circling a few times. She surrendered without an issue and we’ve kept her nearby,” explained the man.

“Ah… you, made this a lot easier for me,” Felix remarked and looked to the vehicle coming their way. Goldie was seated in the front passenger seat. She was in her full Humanoid Dragon appearance. A man sat behind her with an over-sized and almost comical looking rifle pointed at the back of her head.

It looked cartoonish in fact, quite different from what he was used to as far as firearms went.

“You will do what I say, or we’ll shoot her. I’m betting an anti-tank rifle will be able to kill her,” said the man.

Felix wasn’t actually sure Goldie could survive such a shot. He knew she was extremely formidable now. That in her Dragon shape she could more than likely fight a jet, helicopter, or a tank, with a reasonable chance of success.

That being said, an anti-tank rifle sounded like something that possibly could penetrate her.

Especially in her humanoid form.

“Now, you will give us your armor, technology, data, and money,” stated the man. “Once you’ve done that, we’ll put you back on that plane and you can leave.”

Hm.

Well that’s just not an option.

Felix stood there, as if contemplating the options. Letting his captor think that Felix was considering it.

When the jeep got closer, but not too close, it came to a full stop. Goldie was nude, somewhat bored looking, and clearly waiting for him to give her an instruction.

“Go ahead and shoot her then,” Felix said with a shake of his head. “Because I can’t give you the tech.”

There was a gigantic boom, followed by Goldie being knocked forward. Her head slammed into the windshield of the open-top vehicle. She hung there for a second before she returned to an upright and seated position.

An annoyed expression was on her face as she turned around. Grabbing the big gun, she ripped it away from the man and then opened the vehicle of the door.

Stepping out, she looked at the weapon as she walked back to the group.

“Andie, is this useful? Do you want this?” Goldie asked as she got close enough.

“I mean… I don’t have one… so… yes? Pretty sure it’s a PTRD, too so… yes, yes,” Andrea answered. “Please? I love you. Share Felix with me tonight in a messy-dirty three way? Or four way if you want another Andrea with us. Six way?”

“Andrea, I’m recording. You just got yourself caught in 4k revealing that you’re bi,” hissed Romina. “I don’t want to out you; I’ll edit it out later.”

“I don’t care? I mean… isn’t that what I am? I do things with Miu and Felix,” argued Andrea who was making grabby hands at Goldie and the gun. “I love Miu, I love Felix, I love Goldie. I never felt that way about Kit, Lily, or you. Or Faith, even though she’s gorgeous.”

Err… actually it is rather new that she’s been going in with Miu and towards Goldie. I wonder if that’s a switch of the Andrea personality that came here.

More of an Adrianna thing, maybe?

Unsure, but interesting.

I really do wonder what’ll happen when we go back home.

Goldie made it to Andrea, who hugged her tightly, clearly grabbed the Dragon’s rear end, then took the rifle from her.

“Nnnn! Goldie my love… it really is a PTRD! I’ve always wanted one. I love you, Goldie. Love you so much. Thanks,” Andrea cheered excitedly and jumping up and down in place.

“They just wanted to rob us,” Goldie said, moving toward the plane. “That’s it. I’m going to go inside. I don’t like being naked around them, or on camera.”

“I’ve got it covered,” Romina murmured quietly. Her hand was in front of the camera right now.

“Oh, why thank you, dear. I appreciate you looking out for everyone,” Goldie said with a warm smile, then headed into the plane.

“I took my clothes off and left them in the back of the plane, Goldie. I think we fit clothes close enough that it’d work,” Gaia offered.

“Off?” Goldie asked as she moved past Gaia.

“Yes. I took off my clothes to put on my armor. I find the armor fits on me better with just my skin,” Gaia offered. “That and I like the way it feels better.”

Goldie chuckled at that and didn’t say anything in return, going up the stairs

“What, none of you are naked underneath?” Gaia asked.

“No. I wear a tank-top and shorts when I wear the armor. Going inside. I have a headache and I think I’m bleeding a little. Was a big gun,” Goldie grumped as she entered the plane.

“Not much, but some,” Romina replied. “Just my underwear really I guess.”

“Pajamas work well for me,” Faith offered. “Feels like it’ll tear off my nipples otherwise. Too sensitive.”

“Mmm, rifle, nnnn. New rifle. Ooh! I’m gonna need a new sight. Though… what kind of sight do you put on an anti-tank rifle? Hahaha.”

Felix wanted to shout at them all. This was entirely the wrong conversation to have in this situation. They were technically still being held hostage.

“Drat. I guess maybe I’m the odd one after all then. They all wear something. Maybe I’m the only one thinking of going straight to sex after this. Or maybe Juno is? She’s only wearing underwear.

“He does dote on her when he has no reason to. I wonder if he’s interested in her like he is me?”

“Tribune, mute her for a minute,” begged Felix, then he looked to the dictator who’d brought them here. “Look, friend. I don’t know what you were thinking. I have no idea what you were really expecting out of this, but I’ll make it simple. I’m going to —”

“I’ll blow up your building!” shouted the man, wide eyed and infuriated.

Considering how they’d practically ignored him, Felix didn’t find that surprising in the least.

“Alright, you do that. Anyways,” Felix dismissed with a wave of his hand. “If you want my technology, I’d be happy to sell certain things to your nation. I have no concerns at all regarding that, in fact.

“I don’t sell arms or armor, however. That’s too politically charged. The recycler machine, the waste reducer, air scrubber, medical pod, all those things I’m happy to sell at the prices I listed in the international communication,” Felix continued.

At the same time, his mind was spinning in a different direction.

While this entire thing was mostly a waste of time, that amounted to more of a loss of time on his part, it’d also given him an idea. A thought that felt like exactly the right direction.

He’d been wracking his brain on how to get the world to recognize him and the Association with what he wanted to do. A way for them to greet him, welcome him, and endorse the Association readily.

Greedily, even.

It was such a simple and stupid reality that he hadn’t even considered it.

At some point… somewhere… there’s going to be a Skipper.

Someone with a power strong enough to take over, is going to. A successful one is most likely going to pop up in a country with a weak security force.

Weak military or counterintelligence.

Somewhere like this could easily have a Skipper show up out of nowhere and take over.

When it does, I have to be ready. Let’s… start planning out how to make it work when it does.

“Legate, I’ve been able to download a fraction of myself into their networks. I used a satellite that was passing overhead to work my way in. I will have control in several minutes,” reported Tribune. “I will proceed to do this with every other possible location that isn’t hooked into the greater world wide web.

“I would request that we look into putting up signal towers with Legion technology.”

Maybe… we’ll see.

I have points a plenty, but far too many high-value projects to buy.

“So, shall we make some deals? I can easily sell you technology. Right now, in fact,” offered Felix. “I don’t care what sanctions are against you or anything of that nature. I’m only interested in the jurisdiction of the Association, and nothing more.”

Standing there, Felix waited, staring at the face of a man who would have happily killed Goldie to make a point.

“Will you barter with me?” he asked instead of cursing at Felix, a smile returning to his face. “Keep the gun. Are you interested in other weapons as well? I have a collection of many rare soviet era weapons.”

Without turning around, he knew Andrea was vibrating in place right now.

Then he realized there were likely other things that could be bartered for here as well.

“Do you have any toxic dumps, nuclear fuel waste sites, or hazardous landfills?” Felix asked, thinking about what they might need. “Or any old facilities you’d be willing to let one of my people explore with a camera? Maybe one of those nuclear fuel waste sites I mentioned?”

“My Champion… always thinking of me. Romina, too. He’s clearly infatuated with us. I’ll have to seduce him if he doesn’t seduce me. We need to resolve this tension between us,” whispered Gaia. “I’m sure after we have sex a few times the tension will ease up.

“I wonder if Romina will need to sleep with him before it goes away, too? Weren’t Jupiter and Juno married? They were nice people when I knew them.”

Damnit… all.