A Males Little Silly Thoughts... aren't they so cute. (Patreon)

Hi Ma'am,

I may have got carried away. It is absolute truth that I would have enjoyed the FSU much more than traditional school classes. Assignment 5 pages attached plus what I refer to as the struggle pages.
 
HOW HIVE CONTENT HAS MOLDED MY MIND TO ACCEPT MY INFERIORITY AND CALIBRATE FEMALE SUPREMACY?
 
In one singular word, comprehensively. How or by what methods, without being informed, my mind will boggle till the end of time. Thus, I can only speak to the results. 
 
First and foremost, is the self awareness. The Hive content has explained to me almost every action or behavior (even terrible behavior) that I have done in my life. Those actions it hasn't I just can't remember. Whilst I certainly do hate and DESPISE some of this behavior, there is definitely a soothing and calming element to know why I did so and comfort just simply knowing my beta just won't allow some of this shit behavior in the future.
 
Perhaps there is a melodramatic tinge to this, however if it's about feelings, then I have feel like I am going through a puberty that I never had. I never did understand the fuss about teenage puberty, like I have written before, so I will get hair and want sex. OK this is a ridiculously simple concept that even the most feeble male mind can understand. So I still don't get the fuss about normal teenage puberty. As if by coincidence, since Hive training I have been informed that my armpits and feet have begun to smell like a teenager in puberty.
 
We are not here to talk about my smelly armpits though. I offer a little bit more context for those who might read this outside of anything I have written before. The following briefly describes my life;
 
School, primary and secondary, I did NOTHING for females. Yet, the thing is, I really was only ever 2 or 3 max "No"s away from doing anything and everything for females, especially if they had ever decided to TELL me to do something. Yet they never did and I never OFFERED. So I know why I was miserable at school. No serving, no being used.
 
My dating life, as in "clubbing" also,  was mostly a terrible attitude of "why don't women want to use me" said in a mixture of puzzlement and sometimes even anger. And multiple bouts of depression. I NEVER bought a drink for a woman I didn't already know at a club under the pretense of "if you wouldn't buy it for a friend don't buy it". No serving, no being used.
 
I've been very fortunate to have women approach me. No bribing, no playing games etc - they just picked me. I hide behind being gentlemanly and not say how many women I have "been" with but I will say EVERY single one has said "You were not was I was expecting". I have only been "dumped" once and cannot ever remember being actually rejected (refer closing doors, pretending to not hear me etc). Technically I am still "dating" approx 5 women as we never officially split up. Women will either ghost me, or say "let's be friends" and then ghost me. We would then NEVER speak to each other again. This is as per my attitude of "ignore me? OK I ignore you too". Correction to my last writing regarding drink driving smash, I was dumped not rejected
 
My Goddess might read this and to this end I wish to state that, if I am in my beta state, with the FME stripped completely away. Yes I would serve all women in whatever capacity they wish. My Goddess is the only women that I have ever approached, tried to "pick up" etc. in my life. Worthy of the almost impossible task to reel back to "it MUST be 100% because she wants to". 
 
So why is this writing so self-centered? Why such an importance of self awareness? Well because once self awareness is achieved, it then mostly all fits into place.The Hive content gifts this awareness which leads to all roads being it HAS to be about being used and NOT about using her.
 
Then comes self realisation. I deserved to be there - my actions were shit but I have been in a house sitting on a milk crate with no electricity and very little money to speak of. Yet as I sat on that milk crate, I was not miserable because I didn't have any worldly possessions. I was miserable because no woman was there to give me direction, no woman to tell me what to do, no woman to fetch a drink for. The Hive content has shown what I should have known all along. It is a "privelege to serve women".
 
The Hive content has also brought me a great deal of inner peace. It has shaped me to not see women as what they can do for me but put my mindset into - how can I serve them? Of course I still have fantasies and hopes but I am not disappointed if these fantasies don't come to fruition and, on top of that, IF they do, I know that the fantasy will be BETTER than my male one anyway.
 
In everyday life. I am so much more relaxed. On the road, Goddesses are on their way to somewhere important and even if male, they might be on an errand for a Goddess that told them to hurry up. Same same in any line or queue. Every woman is a Goddess, either angel or demon. If she is nice to me I feel blessed that she was nice. If she is mean or nasty, then my "perversion" kicks in and makes me turned on. At work if I must stay back I find myself saying I wish I was staying back because a woman told me to.
 
The Hive has shaped me so that when I do get "me" time or time unsupervised I do assignments such as this. Over and above my own interests such as completing my resume for job hunting for next year. To me, very similar to standing guard at the bleachers so my crush can have sex at the expense of my education/job seeking.
 
In conclusion, I could attempt to rattle off the superior qualities of women ie virile, more attractive etc but, to my male mind, all this is summed up in that a room full of males is dull but once a woman enters,  there's motivation and you can feel the mood change to become more uplifting.
 
In the interests of honesty, after multiple tries, I found hand writing this first too hard. So I typed and am now going to write. The Hive has also taught me that I DO desperately seek female approval and will readily resubmit this assignment if that is the female judgement.
 
Finding a 12 hr block of time spare to do the edging assignment is nigh impossible but still in my intent.
 
Thankyou Hive for this assignment.