1198 - Pencils (Patreon)

Bleah. A whole week of wasting paper just for this. I'm not happy with this one, at all. I wanted more complex imagery of Trina humping away at Sixx with the desperation of her body language on show, but instead I had to settle for the usual sort of boring, single-figure, dutch camera angle crap I've been producing since the 00s. You might even say I hate this one. But y'all waited long enough for me to stop spinning wheels and do my job so here's my meager offering. I'm truly sorry it's not something much better. For as little as I updated the last few months y'all deserve better on my end.

And for an explanation of why these are taking so long, well, I'm crazy. Or mentally ill, as it were. As I've mentioned before in one of my many self-pitying ramblings, I have borderline personality disorder and major depressive disorder. Despite being on meds for the depression, the bpd still has a way of dragging me into very bad mental spirals. The last few weeks, and the past week especially I've struggled with suicidal ideation and completely disassociated from myself for hours on end for several days. I did my best to push on through but it's been a challenge to function creatively when I'm completely absent from myself.

I'm not trying to make excuses and I'm sorry if I'm coming across that way. This is a job, and like any job, I'm expected to show up for work or lose my income. I appreciate the loyalty and support y'all have shown me, but I won't deny feeling very guilty about having leaned so heavily on it so often lately. I want to do better for y'all. I want to  produce more without sacrificing quality. Most of all, I just want to give y'all what  you're paying my sorry ass for. Anyways. I just felt that y'all deserved at least an explanation for my dragging-ass updates the past month or so. Sorry for the whining again. Love y'all. See y'all with the inks Monday-ish.