Update (Patreon)

Well so much for my return to form. Still have one last update coming up Tues/Wed I've made slow progress on over the past several weeks but it ain't gonna save this month's lack of updates.

So why the drought these past few months? My mental health has completely collapsed and I'm barely staying above water. Constantly being pressured to return to the hospital, which, if any of you have ever been involuntarily committed, know how little being locked into little off white and/or manila-coloured boxes (and forced to sit in a day room and listen to inane speeches from group therapists who have long given up) helps.

Do I sound whiny? Of course I do! Is that content? Sure ain't! So what's the point of this statement other than to say I at least have one last update for the month ahead? Transparency I guess. It ain't that I enjoy losing readers everyday (or can afford to, for that matter) it's that I have completely mentally broken down and have been unable to do much more than exist. I'm sorry, I really am.

The only reason I'm not giving up completely is because there's just nothing else I can do. I've long degraded into being unable to function in public spaces. Even going outside to check the mail has become difficult for me. My bid for disability is pretty much my only hope for avoiding homelessness in the future, because I can no longer do the very basic shit I did most of my life. Like, you know, going outside. Meantime this is all I have to rely on and as I'm breaking down more and more even doing this has become harder and harder. The guilt I feel having to maintain this with how little I'm actually offering in response just drives home the reality of the fact that I'm unable to provide the very service I'm charging y'all for and that's not right. But without this, I and my partner are out on the streets so... I can only keep trying and hoping I'll push through.

Next update is Tues night/Wed morning. It's the first page of Collar(ed)6 II and I hope it doesn't entirely suck. Thanks for everything y'all. Love y'all.

If you'd like to yell at me in person, the fan-run Discord server is still up and I do float in and out of there.

https://discord.gg/7sMVuyfPad

Feel free to stop by and put a foot up my sorry ass.