Early Access: Silent [Japan] E3, E4 (Patreon)

E3. I haven't watched all that many Japanese dramas (especially if we're comparing with the number of kdramas I've watched 😅), but one thing that's becoming clear to me, is that J-doramas don't tend to follow any kind of set pattern.

In kdramas, when it comes to romances, there is often a set pattern that many shows follow; the early meet-cute, the mid-way confirmation of feelings, the late-stage conflict, and then the final resolution.

I think I knew in my head that J-doramas don't do this, but it's becoming extra clear to me, with this show.

What I mean is, in our first set of episodes, I'd talked about this story likely being about how Tsumugi and Sou find their way back to each other.

And then, this episode, we get.. well, everything that feels like the opposite of that, so much so that I started to be quite convinced that I'd misunderstood Show, and that we were likely in for a story about Sou's journey, and about the friendship between Sou and Tsumugi and Minato.

I mean, so very much of this episode points towards that (which I'll talk more about, in a bit).

It was only when I prepared to write these notes, and happened to see Show's poster, which features Tsumugi and Sou in a very clearly romantic pose, that I realized that, "Ah. So we are going in that direction. Show's just taking a different, less direct route than I'd imagined."

Which is great, actually, because this detour feels very believable as something that could happen in real life.

We spend a lot of this episode exploring Minato's perspective and his feelings, and Show reinforces my gut feeling from the beginning, that Minato's a genuinely nice guy, who sincerely likes Sou, and also sincerely likes Tsumugi.

That flashback at the top of the episode, where we see how things had unfolded from his perspective, in high school, is so poignant.

How perplexing and overwhelming it must have been to be in Minato's shoes, as a young person with a burgeoning crush on a nice girl - only to realize that his best friend and the nice girl like each other. Ack.

The fact that Minato was able to feel even a little bit happy for them, makes me think that he's quite a pure soul.

Even when Tsumugi texts him to tell him that she's been dumped by Sou, he doesn't try to contact her or make his move, because it had felt awkward to him.

And then, when he sees Tsumugi again at the class reunion, his concern for her feels gentle and sincere.

It kinda feels like his patience and pure-heartedness has been rewarded, in a way, when he and Tsumugi end up reconnecting and becoming close, and eventually start dating.

And so, I'd imagined that it must have been perplexing for him, for Sou to show up again, and for Tsumugi to start meeting Sou, and learning sign language, in order to communicate properly with Sou.

But, as Show demonstrates by the end of the episode, that isn't quite the case.

In fact, in Minato's own words, he is a little upset about that, but that's not really what he's upset about.

He's actually more upset about how Sou had kept his illness from him, and hadn't told him anything about it, even though they'd been such close friends.

To Minato, this hits so much deeper and more painfully, than any jealousy he might feel over Sou reconnecting with Tsumugi.

That's surprising to me - and I'm left feeling rather gobsmacked at how pure this all is. 🥹

The way Minato breaks down in tears at the end of the episode, because of how much it hurts him, that Sou hadn't told him about his illness, and how difficult it is for him to accept Sou's deafness, is so raw and emotional.

It really was only at this point that it dawned on me just how much this is affecting Minato.

Similarly, I'm struck by how steadfast Tsumugi is, in her loyalty and love for Minato.

Even though Sou was her first love, him reappearing in her life now, doesn't cause her to waver, it seems like.

She articulates with firmness, to both Sou and Minato, that she has no plans to break up with Minato, and Sou is nothing more than a high school friend to her now.

On another note, Show does offer a bit of clarity, this episode, on two things that I'd wondered about.

1, it looks like Nana, the deaf girl whom we see with Sou quite regularly, isn't actually his girlfriend, judging from the way she asks him about how his date with Tsumugi had gone.

2, Sou does still speak - but only with his family.

And, from the scene where his sister forgets that he can't hear, because he's talking to her normally, I'm beginning to understand why Sou chooses not to speak, in general.

It's not only confusing for people, it's probably also very painful, to hypothetically have people keep forgetting that he can't hear, just because he can speak normally.

That would mean that Sou would have to keep reminding people about his inability to hear, and.. I imagine that would just be additional frustration and sadness that he doesn't need in his life.

Finally, that last flashback that we get at the end of the episode, where Minato and Sou have this thing, where Minato calls out to Sou, and Sou pretends not to hear him, while hiding a chuckle, is just so, so poignant.

That moment, when Sou turns around and flashes that smile, and Minato smiles happily in response, is so wonderful - but in the context of where they are now, is so heart-pinching, at the same time. 🥲💔😭

Suddenly, I feel like I understand Minato so much better, when he sobs to Tsumugi, "I just want him to turn around when I call his name." 🥺💔

E4. Wow. What an.. interesting episode this turned out to be?

While watching this episode, I kept feeling like Minato wasn't being as good or as nice or as caring or as considerate as we'd first understood him to be.

There are bigger, more obvious things, and there are also smaller beats, that all contribute to this growing sense of.. discomfort, for me as a viewer, around Minato as a character.

Like the way he goes and sits behind Sou, and talks to Sou's back, knowing that Sou can't hear him.

I know this scene is supposed to be very emotional for Minato, because of all his pent-up feelings, but this choice did strike me as being quite selfish and rude, because he doesn't seem to know or care, that he's acting in a way that would further alienate Sou.

And then there's the way he tries to avoid meeting Sou, and asks Tsumugi to convey important things like how sorry he is.

If he were really that nice and considerate, he'd know that this isn't the sort of thing one should convey through someone else.

And when Tsumugi creates that opportunity for Minato and Sou to have a heart to heart talk, Minato starts by saying that Tsumugi's upset (which isn't even true), and then starts talking about casual everyday things, which shouldn't be the focus of the conversation.

The thing that bugs me the most about this conversation, is that when Sou apologizes to Minato for keeping his illness from him, and mentions that he owes Tsumugi an apology too, Minato talks for Tsumugi, telling Sou that she's really, really, REALLY fine, coz he's been by her side for the last 3 years.

I found this really inappropriate and insensitive.

It's inappropriate for him to speak on Tsumugi's behalf on something like this, even if he is her boyfriend; Tsumugi deserves to hear that apology for herself, and tell Sou herself, that she's fine. It's not something that Minato should do for her, especially without her actually asking him to speak on her behalf.

And it's insensitive, because it feels like while Sou's being vulnerable with him and telling Minato that he's sorry for keeping his illness from him, Minato's rubbing his current relationship with Tsumugi in Sou's face. At least, that's how it felt to me, as a viewer.

And then there's the way Minato responds, when he sees Sou, while he's out on a date with Tsumugi. He locks eyes with Sou - so he definitely sees Sou - but then pointedly turns away and continues his date with Tsumugi.

That totally feels like a cold shoulder sort of thing, and that gave me a bad taste in my mouth.

Minato's apology via text afterwards, also rings hollow to me. And, you can see that it bothers Sou too, because even though Sou smiles when he's with Minato, in response to this text, Sou's expression looks more downcast than anything.

Basically, this episode, Minato struck me as a mix of nice and not-so-nice, which gave me the feeling that he wasn't quite being truly sincere.

Like how he asks Sou to play soccer, which is nice, and then asks someone else to invite the rest of the gang (but only the ones who want to see Sou), even though Minato's usually the one to organize the gang for soccer.

That struck me as strange, because if he's usually the one organizing soccer games, then the way he won't organize this particular soccer game comes across as him distancing himself from Sou, to my eyes.

With Minato behaving like this, I found myself getting more and more protective of Sou, because it's not hard to see that Sou's smiling on the outside, but sad on the inside.

On the surface, it looks like Sou doesn't mind any of it, but I definitely feel that Sou's sensitive enough to pick up on all these nuances of distance and rejection, and is hurt by them.

AND THENNN.

Just when I'm feeling most perplexed by Minato's behavior, he goes and breaks up with Tsumugi.

This moment honestly made my head spin for a bit, because I hadn't counted on this being his next move.

Plus, it smells suspiciously like noble idiocy - except that he isn't our male lead, and therefore this isn't actually idiocy because, narratively, it helps to pave the way for the interrupted love between Sou and Tsumugi to be revived.

I'd felt quite blindsided when Minato broaches the break-up, honestly, but when Minato explains it, I feel like I can understand it much better.

Earlier in the episode, he says to Tsumugi that he'll always put her needs first, and now, at the end of the episode, as he asks her to leave him, because she loves someone else, I can see that he's letting her go for her sake.

And also, when Minato tells Sou that he's always been agreeable to whatever Tsumugi wants or prefers, even though he might have zero interest in the thing in question, it becomes clear to me why Tsumugi's never quarreled with him before, and why she'd be able to say that she's never seen him angry before.

It's because he's never been comfortable enough to be himself, in front of her.

I'm sure he feels like a fake, for pretending to be interested in things that he's actually bored by, just to make Tsumugi happy. And I can believe that after 3 years of doing that, that he'd reach a breaking point of sorts.

With Minato feeling like he can't quite be himself in front of Tsumugi, and knowing that Sou's a much more natural fit to Tsumugi's interests and passions, AND knowing that Tsumugi does still gravitate towards Sou, in her heart, I can understand why he would feel that the best thing to do, would be to break up with Tsumugi.

In a way, I feel like everything that Minato's doing, to re-settle Sou among their friends, is his way of making it up to Sou, for pretending to be someone he's not, with Tsumugi, and thus falsely winning her heart, in a manner of speaking.

It really is lovely though, to see Sou smiling among friends, and enjoying soccer with them again, which is something that I'm sure he'd thought wouldn't ever happen again.

It's very touching, and I feel like their ex-teacher kinda represents all of us, with the way he can't help but cry at the sight of Sou thriving among all his friends, on the soccer field. 🥲

And so, even as Minato makes his tearful sacrifice, which he also says is for his own sake, I come to the realization that all the mixes messages from him that I'd been perplexed by earlier in the episode, had been him wrestling with himself and the situation, in order to arrive at his conclusion.

Y'know, with Show bringing Minato to the forefront in episode 3, and also, creating this situation where Tsumugi is determined not to break up with him, I'd wondered how Show was going to resolve this situation, AND give enough time for Sou and Tsumugi to actually reconnect in a romantic space.

I mean, it's pretty ambitious, narratively speaking, and we've only got 11 episodes for Show to work with.

Now, with this very interestingly engineered break-up, we actually do have a lot more narrative wiggle room than I'd originally thought. Nicely played, Show.

I'm definitely curious to see how Show continues to unfold the relationships among our main characters, because even though Minato's now declared that he's out of the game, in order for Sou and Tsumugi to be together, surely things are going to be much more delicate and awkward, going forward?

Show's demonstrated that it's pretty capable of being deft and sensitive at the same time, so I'm intrigued to see what Show's got in mind, for this next stage of our story.

Next episode notes will be out on: Tuesday, 9 May 2023!