Early Access: Recipe For Farewell E1, E2 (Patreon)

E1. When I'd first floated the idea of this show being a show that I'd cover on Patreon, it didn't register in my head, that each episode is only half an hour.

And so, when I realized this, shortly before watching this first episode, I considered whether I should cover more than two episodes at a time, since each one is so short.

Coming away from episode 1, however, I'm thinking a different thought, and that is, this show isn't one that should be rushed.

The episodes might be short, but if this first episode is anything to go by, they're rich with thought and feeling, and this show, and the experience of watching it, really shouldn't be rushed.

So let's savor this one together, shall we?

Right away, I'm gonna say that this show is low-key giving me slice-of-life J-dorama vibes, with the way we do that cold open, and only find out, in subsequent fragments of information, that Chang Wook and Da Jung aren't actually married anymore, and that she's terminally ill, and he's there to help take care of her meals, while she's well enough to be an outpatient.

Of course, this doesn't come as a surprise or anything, since Show's promos and synopsis have stated this clearly from the start.

Despite that, I still found it a pleasantly engaging exercise, to piece the picture together, from what Show actually serves up onscreen, versus what I already knew, coming into this watch.

There's such a thoughtful, almost serene vibe to the opening, with Chang Wook's voiceover about food and how he's preparing it, that it feels quite dissonant, really, to realize that the only reason he's even there, is because Da Jung is dying.

Right away, I find myself gravitating towards Chang Wook. I just really like his philosophy about how delicious food comes from the heart, and that only food made with love and care can actually fill your belly.

Ooh. I like him already, just based on his attitude alone, and so, it does come as a rather record-scratching moment, to realize that his food isn't actually very delicious at all, heh.

I still like him, though, because he doesn't let that stop him from trying, and he doesn't let that keep him from thinking of ways to make the food better and more delicious for Da Jung.

And, I like him too, because he doesn't even seem to mind, or be at all offended, when Da Jung ends up spitting out the one mouthful of food that she tries to eat. Instead, he sits himself down, and eats the food in her stead, without ruffling a single feather.

I don't know much about Chang Wook at all, at this point, but I am very drawn to his unflustered, unhurried, leading-from-the-heart sort of quality that we see on display.

As for Da Jung, she's so successful at maintaining an appearance of businesslike normalcy, that it's not possible to tell, at first glance, that she's even sick.

But, as our episode wears on, we do see the frailty in her, and I can only imagine how hard she's pushing herself, in order to keep it together. I mean, she's dying, after all. It's just not possible that she has no feelings about that.

From what I can tell, she's holding it together, so that she can complete her project at work instead of leaving everyone hanging, and more importantly, so that she can give their son Jae Ho as normal of a life as possible, for long as possible.

After all, Jae Ho doesn't even know the real reason why his father is back in the house, even though his parents have divorced. So of course he doesn't know that Mom is sick either.

I understand the good intentions that Da Jung has, but I feel like if Jae Ho only finds out much later, he's going to be upset, that he didn't have more time, to make the most of the time that's available to him and his mother.

In fact, I feel like having his context corrected, so that he knows that he has limited time left with his mother, would change Jae Ho's attitude and decisions by a great deal.

Right now, I feel like it's such a waste, that he's using his energy to drown in self-pity, because he's uncomfortable around his father, and using his time to avoid going home, instead of going home early, because that would maximize his time with his mother.

But, I suppose that will come with time, and that's probably what his growth trajectory will be about.

I'm also hoping that the relationship between him and Chang Wook will be healed, in the time that we have left. Because, when Da Jung eventually passes, won't Chang Wook be all that he has left? 😭

I do appreciate the flashbacks that Show is sprinkling throughout the episode, to show us how Chang Wook and Da Jung end up living together again.

I'm guessing that the reason Chang Wook is there at her doctor's appointment in the first place, isn't because they're that close to begin with; it's more likely because Da Jung had needed a guardian to be present, and she didn't have anyone else to ask, besides Chang Wook.

That said, I'm guessing that at least part of Da Jung's reason for asking Chang Wook to come and live with her and Jae Ho, and take care of her meals, is so that his relationship with Jae Ho will have a chance to heal.

I'm guessing that as a mother, one of her key concerns, for after she passes, is what will happen to Jae Ho.

Although I don't think that Da Jung's relationship with Chang Wook is particularly close, I don't think it's particularly bad either, since she's able to ask him to be her guardian at the hospital, and is able to ask for help, even though it means putting his own life on hold for a while.

And so, I'm actually hoping that these two will be able to attain some sense of reconciliation and closure, even as Da Jung prepares for the inevitable.

As it is, I like that the meal time provides a time for conversation and shared experiences, like we see with the japchae, this episode.

It's because they're sitting down to eat together, that Da Jung feels she can ask Chang Wook why he'd agreed to help her, and it feels like a significant moment, when Chang Wook answers that it's because she would have done the same for him.

And then, the shared experience of burning their mouths off, while eating the overly spicy japchae, is something precious too.

At least in this moment, all other reservations are forgotten, and they're just tearing up, and sharing iced water, and chuckling and laughing together, and that feels very life-affirming, to me.

On another note, I saw that Yang Kyung Won, whom I really enjoyed in Crash Landing On You, is listed among the cast.

Is he playing the supermarket dude..? I feel like that's the closest I'm coming to, to placing him, but the supermarket dude only seems to bear a passing resemblance to how I remember Yang Kyung Won looking..? 😅

I do like the idea of a supermarket dude being a regular cast member of our drama world, though.

It adds a personal dimension to the process of Chang Wook shopping for ingredients, and, Supermarket Dude is quick to give suggestions too, so he's actively contributing to Chang Wook's menu, in a sense.

All in all, this was a very solid first episode, and I already feel interested and invested in these characters' lives, and what they will do, in the time that they have left, together.

I'm sure Show's going to make me cry, and probably more than once, but still, Show's warm, serene vibes are assuring me, that somehow, it's all going to be ok in the end.

E2. It's so interesting to me, that the readers of Chang Wook's blog actually find his posts sad.

I honestly hadn't picked up on the sadness, and had been thinking of his entries as more.. serene, than anything.

But, now that his readers have pointed out the sadness, I can't unsee the wistfulness that I now perceive, peeking through, in his voiceovers.

Funny how that works, eh? It makes me wonder if I would have picked up on the sadness / wistfulness on my own, if Show hadn't shone a spotlight on it, and put a label on it for me. 🤔

I appreciate the flashback at the top of the episode, because it shows us that things hadn't always been like this, between Chang Wook and Jae Ho.

There had been a time when Jae Ho had actually wanted Chang Wook to go along with him and Da Jung, to Jeju Island. What a contrast, to how it is now, 5 years later, where Jae Ho would rather sit outside and wait for Da Jung to come home, because he feels uncomfortable being around Chang Wook on his own.

That's bittersweet, because on the one hand, it's a hopeful thing, I feel like, to see that it's not impossible for Jae Ho to feel comfortable around Chang Wook, because we see that he'd actually liked being around Chang Wook, as recently as 5 years ago.

On the other hand, however, it's also sad to see how things have changed so drastically in just 5 years.

But, the flashback also demonstrates growth, and that's something hopeful.

Specifically, I'm thinking of how Da Jung leaves all these prepared foods and instructions for Chang Wook when she leaves for Jeju Island, and reminds him not to just eat instant ramyun.

That's a huge contrast to the present day, where Chang Wook's preparing food from scratch, for the whole family.

He may not be a very skillful cook, judging from the modest success rate of his dishes, but he knows his way around the kitchen, isn't afraid to try new things, and puts heart and care into every step of the cooking process.

That's a huge deal, in terms of growth, and that growth gives me hope that there can and will be growth in other areas, for our characters and their relationships.

While it's not a new idea, it's becoming clear, in our story, that food is an expression of love. Not romantic love, necessarily; just.. love, and care, from one human to another.

Chang Wook puts heart into preparing meals for Da Jung, in hopes that her body will be nourished, strengthened and perhaps healed; that's one.

The other thing is, how he asks her if there's anything she'd like to eat, and then goes to great lengths to make her wish come true, even though he has no knowledge or experience of the dish that she names, Dombe noodles from Jeju Island.

His desire to grant her wish, and his willingness to step into unfamiliar waters to try to recreate those noodles for her, and his readiness to go the extra mile, in order to make it a success, is also an expression of love.

This episode, Da Jung's refusal to look up the answer to the question that keeps niggling at her - the name of the beach that she'd gone to, on Jeju Island - feels a little random at first glance, but on further thought, I do believe that it's representative of something deeper.

And that is, I think, Da Jung's desire to retain control over her body and her mind, and demonstrate the health of her faculties, even as her body continues to deteriorate, as it fights the cancer.

It might feel like a small and silly thing to the casual observer, and I know that I've googled stuff before (and often!), when I couldn't remember something.

But I do think that with her life basically spinning out of her control, with her illness, being able to demonstrate that she's still "got it," in this one small thing, can feel like a true moment of victory, for Da Jung.

And it feels so vicariously rewarding, to see that Chang Wook's efforts to give Da Jung that taste of Dombe noodles that she's been wanting, actually help Da Jung to achieve that moment of victory.

How priceless, and how precious.

I do think that it's about time that Da Jung's condition become more known among her friends and family.

I find it troubling, that Da Jung doesn't have much time left, and yet, doesn't tell her sister about her condition, even though she dearly wishes to see her sister, while she still can.

I get that Da Jung wants a visit with her sister that feels normal and carefree, rather than a visit where her sister's crying and heartbroken, but.. honestly, it looks like if she doesn't tell her sister the truth, her sister might not come to Korea this year after all, and then where does that leave Da Jung, who has less than a year to live?

In a situation like this, it feels like having a sad visit is better than having no visit at all?

I feel the same, about Jae Ho.

Like Chang Wook, I feel that if Jae Ho knew about his mother's condition, he wouldn't be so quick to ask to move out on his own.

And so, perhaps Da Jung collapsing in pain (which sucks, to be clear) might give us that silver lining, of Jae Ho gaining time to be with, love and appreciate his mom, while he still has the time. *tear*

Next episode notes will be out on: Monday, 2 January 2023!

*This show will be covered on the Early Access (US$5) Tier*