Early Access: My Liberation Notes E2 (Patreon)

E2. I continue to be cautiously intrigued by this show and its characters. I haven't figured out whether I like them yet, but I'm.. curious. And that's not a bad place to be.

The ideas that Show is serving up are still percolating in my head as I type this, but for now, it feels like there are at least 2 big ideas that Show is touching on.

The first is, the difference between the inner self, and the self that one shows the world, and the second is, the fundamental need that we have, to feel like we matter to someone.

One of the things that strikes me this episode, is just how different Chang Hee is at work, versus at home.

In our introduction to Chang Hee, it's hard to miss his angry bluster, because it's so in-yo-face and loud, so I'd missed the fact that he's actually really patient and kind and nice to others, while at work.

This episode, we see it a little more, and I have to confess to feeling quite startled, at the difference when comparing his work persona, to the self that he lets out, at home, when he's among family and friends.

This leads me to the idea that we are often nicer to the people who matter less to us, in life, in the overall scheme of things. That idea that it's our nearest and dearest, who tend to see us at our worst, rings so true, and is something we see showing up a lot, in these initial episodes.

We see this is Chang Hee and his shouty ways, where even his mother shuts the door on his rants, for how loud and noisy he is.

(I do feel bad for Chang Hee, though, in that moment when his ex-girlfriend comes into the convenience store with her new boyfriend. Very awkward. And also, probably very discouraging, for Chang Hee.)

And we see this too, in Gi Jeong, who keeps it together at work, but complains openly among friends and family, about her exhaustion due to her long commute, and also, about the fact that the serial dater at work is nice to everyone but her.

I do detect notes of plaintiveness in Gi Jeong, even in the midst of her rants, and I feel bad for her, when Hyeon A is so brutally honest with her, telling her that she should take a good hard look at herself, before setting such high dating standards.

There is a lot of loneliness coming through, in both Chang Hee's and Gi Jeong's arcs, I find.

That conversation where Gi Jeong tells her friend that what she really wants, is to be able to have relaxing conversation with a man, illustrates that very well, I think.

While I'm growing more understanding for Chang Hee and Gi Jeong, I do find myself most naturally interested in Mi Jeong's story. And I think it's because Mi Jeong approaches the world differently, compared to her siblings.

Among the 3 siblings, Mi Jeong is the only one who maintains the same quiet persona, both at work and at home.

She doesn't complain, she does what's expected of her, and she has a studied, quiet air about her, regardless of who she's with.

Perhaps that's the reason why she finally cracks, at the end of the episode. If she's never had a regular outlet for her feelings, unlike her siblings, it makes sense that she would crack at some point, especially given the stress that she's under, regarding that loan.

This episode, we get a little more information about the loan, and from what Show is telling us, it appears that Mi Jeong had taken out that loan, in order to help out a particular sunbae.

Circumstantially, it's reasonably safe to assume that she'd liked this sunbae, and that was why she'd gone so far as to take out a loan, in order to lend him the money, when that's one of the most risky financial decisions you could make.

I don't think Mi Jeong's so foolish as to not know that; I'm guessing that she likes this sunbae enough, that she hadn't wanted to turn him down, when he'd come to her asking for help.

And now that she's heard that he's actually been borrowing money, not just from her, but from everyone (ie, she's not special to him after all), he's even gone back to his ex-girlfriend, AND he appears to have fled the country, thus saddling her with the loan.

It's a lot to take in, and given that Mi Jeong's already got all these daily stresses bottled up on the inside (like the company's incessant pressure on her to join a club, or be an outcast), I can imagine that this would drive her to a bursting point.

Even though Mr. Gu doesn't say a whole lot, the fact that he does go out of his way to meet the postman, to get Mi Jeong's letter like she'd requested, is something. With how studiously silent he's been, I would have found it completely in character, if he'd chosen to ignore Mi Jeong's request.

This gives me the impression that he's more compassionate and more interested in the world around him, than he's let on.

But also, even though he's shown glimmers of interest in Mi Jeong's affairs, he's still studiously silent, and seems to want to remain isolated. I am admittedly curious to know his story.

Honestly, I felt quite taken aback by the way Mi Jeong confronts Mr. Gu at the end of the episode, and basically tells him to worship her, and make her feel whole.

I mean, this feels completely at odds with the Mi Jeong whom we've been getting to know, in these initial episodes.

At the same time, I rationalize that Mi Jeong hasn't actually shown us much of her true self, it at all, because she is so consistent and studied in her efforts to maintain the quiet, cordial persona, at all times.

Maybe this is a glimpse at the real Mi Jeong, whom none of us have met yet.

It does feel rather misguided to me, that Mi Jeong thinks that receiving love from someone else would make her feel whole, but I'm curious to see how Mr. Gu responds, and where Show goes with this.

Plus, since this kinda-sorta feels like a contract relationship of some sort in the making, and since I have a huge soft spot for the contract relationship trope, I'm extra curious to see how this pans out.

Next episode notes will be out on: Friday, 22 Apr 2022!