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Hey Teacups -

I don't know if you can relate, but I have always struggled asking for help.

My dad (some of you will remember what a delightful individual he is) told me all the time that I was stupid and "it's a good thing she's pretty" and lots of other very pleasant, healthy things. And slowly over time, it's had a cumulative effect. 

So, whenever I would need help, I would just either give up or push forward with little success. Thus creating a very anxious cycle of "I'm stupid, it doesn't matter if I ask for help, I'll just get it wrong, anyway." or "I don't want to be reminded of how stupid I am. I know I'm stupid." 

But since going to therapy, I've realised that not only am I not stupid, but also seeking help is the opposite of what stupid people do. It's smart. It's practical. And it's what people do in order to improve and make progress.

As such, I've signed me and my doggos up for some training classes. I absolutely adore my girls, but I struggle with leadership and I need to correct that. Dogs thrive when their owner is clearly in charge, and so that's what I'm setting out to achieve. 

Hopefully, I'm getting across the point that you should never, ever feel embarrassed about seeking help. You should feel proud that you are facing your anxieties and taking steps to improve your situation. 


Comments

Monkee Boy

Used to believe that if I was asking for help that I was getting under-foot or being an irritation. Got that nowhere but from me. Then I learned that asking for help is not only easy, but sometimes people will be downright eager to help. Was glad to learn that it's not that big of a fucking deal, a d to just ask the damn question. Occasionally, I do still need reminding though, thanks Tea. 😊

Nox Nemesis

I am glad you are doing better for yourself, and I certainly hope you and the pups have a good time in class!

Ghostship1776

I can relate to this. I have autism and it has made certain things more difficult for me like asking for help and being comfortable with myself. I’m glad hear you’re doing better. Listening to audios like yours had made me feel better about myself and I thank you for that. Hope the training classes go great.

Spaghetto!!!

Heck yeah, it's really good for dogs to have a solid pack structure, and it's helpful for humans too. Good luck with the classes and congratulations on making a positive change! You go Tea ❤

Lachlan Parker

I’ve struggled with this on occasion as well, even though I’ve always been aware that emotional vulnerability and weakness of willpower are not the same thing. Not in a slightest. I may be a Caucasian male and a 21yr old millennial, but I spend more time as a child listening to adults talk than I did playing with their children. I still struggle with my own inner criticisms, so know what those thoughts are. It was never as bad as yours, and I really wish that I could have been there for you like an emotionally comforting little brother.

Just some guy with a handlebar mustache

Remember kids digging yourself in a hole of endless layers of irony and telling yourself you're actually healthy while thinking the most abhorent shit about yourself is not considered "healthy" or a "good coping mechanism" a bit of trolling is fine but never and I Mean never wear so many masks that you forget what you look like because yellow inceldom is a bitch

NFinity

Amen Miss Tea, I would also add don't let pride, not just the arrogant kind of I can do it and don't need help, but the opposite type of pride, where you don't believe you deserve help, you're not worth bothering others to ask. My therapist brought that to my attention and my friends practically cheered as they had seen for years where I would not ask anyone for help, even in nearly lethal situations, like sleeping in my car in winter overnight when it broke down instead of calling someone to come get me. Whether situational or emotional or mental, asking for help is a good thing.

Nam Bui

I still struggle to ask for help. Throughout childhood it was drilled into me that asking for help = weakness. Now I recognise this enough to know this is my biggest weakness.

Jo

Well said and good luck with the training classes!