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"If you're a bit of a disaster like me, that doesn't make you unloveable, unworthy, or a bad person. It just means you find things overwhelming. And that makes sense - life can be overwhelming. Forgive yourself, be kind to yourself, remember no one really knows what they're doing."
Hey Teacups -
This is a perfect time for me to once again say that I'm sorry I don't always complete commissions, I get overwhelmed, I feel sorry for myself, and essentially I just close down. I wish I had a better reason than "I'm sensitive and easily overwhelmed". But that's the top and bottom of it.
I wish I didn't find life so hard, but I do. I struggle to get all my work done (both for and outside of Teacup), workout/keep myself well, spend time with family and friends, and all the other little things that make up adult life.
A lot of the time I just feel incredibly anxious, thinking "I'm not gonna be able to do this". And I'm really trying to work on that.
That doesn't mean I'm gonna smash everything and be completely confident. It just means I'm gonna try and be a bit kinder and more understanding towards myself. Yes, I'm a disaster, yes, I'm sensitive, but maybe those things aren't just negatives. Maybe I wouldn't be able to do this job if I wasn't a sensitive dork. I don't know, but I'm trying to think beyond "WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING USELESS". Because that's neither kind nor helpful.
This doesn't change the fact that I shouldn't take on more than I can deal with. And I'm really sorry about that. I really want to be able to do what I take on, I just don't realise in that moment that it's too much. But I'm gonna work on that.
I hope me being honest about being a bit of a mess is helpful. There is no perfection here, no effortless ease, just a person doing what they can.
If I could give another easily overwhelmed person any advice it would be:
"Try your best, believe in yourself, but above all else, just be kind to yourself. It's a lot more important than you think."