💙 Survive This With Me 💙 [Personal Tea] [You Are Not Your Abuse] (Patreon)

Abuse, unfortunately, is not uncommon. 

So many of us experience it that it we don't even register it as anything note-worthy. 

So many of us understand the misguided shame, rooted sadness, and endless confusion that surrounds how we we're treated as both children and adults. 

I've shared some parts of my past through Teacup, and I've made it quite clear that, even now, twenty-something years later, I'm still dealing with the aftermath. But that would suggest I've been working on it from the day it first happened. The truth is, it can take a very long time to even acknowledge that you've been abused. The journey of processing it usually happens much, much later - for me - around ten years later - and then again a few  years after that. 

Healing is a process. It is not linear, it has peaks and troughs, it stops and starts. But the most important thing is that you're on the road. And it will take as long as it takes. 

As said above, abuse is common, most of us will experience some form or another, but that's probably all the more reason to talk about it and encourage each other not to let it poison us. 

I was abused as a child and it has left its mark on me. Without going into grotesque detail, the sexual abuse has haunted me for a very long time. Not really because of what happened to me, but more so because of how it shaped me - how it blurred lines, how it sexualised me at seven, how it gave me confusing ideas and feelings about family and sex and boundaries. How it made me feel like a villain - not a victim. 

It has made me feel like a piece of shit, and I am still working on that. 

But I am here. I am alive with a loving family, two beautiful dogs, and a business where I (hopefully) do some good. 

Apologies for the over share, but I think it's precisely because people don't talk about the uncomfortable side of abuse that survivors don't get help, close down, and even take their own lives. 

To repeat the tweet, "you should never have been in that position in the first place". Please, please do not let your abuse, the confusion or the misplaced shame sink you. We can do this. Slowly, in our own time, knowing we survived and we're going to thrive. 

Please help me by helping yourself. There are millions of us, and we need to support and encourage each other. 

We are not broken, we are not disgusting, and we will not always feel this way. 

We can do this. 

Let's go.