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Little Valley - Page 4 (Patreon)

Published:
2020-11-23 15:01:05
Edited:
2020-11-30 16:16:38
Imported:
2021-01

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Based on last weeks feedback, I'm trying to speed things up more while still remaining a long-form story. I went back through the pages I had sketched out and started cutting unnecessary panels. 

This page is actually made up of panels from 2 or 3 different pages previously. 

EDITING! haha

If you guys still feel like things are dragging, definitely let me know! I want to produce the stories I've been working on, but more importantly, I want to make the content that you all enjoy most, so never hesitate to post feedback about anything :)

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Comments

YaoiFan89

I feel like this is the right speed. But it could be that there is more dialogue so the page feels like it has more going on. Either way I like it and someone needs his mouth washed out. Also I never thought of a gated community for AB/DL. Such a awesome idea. :)

Aaron91

Like this kind of pacing and am excited to see all of Little Valley

Anonymous

Amazing! But i´m so curious fot to know what is the relationship of the women and the baby boy :P

Anonymous

love the guys expression. Though I don't see why he even bothered to try hiding, he's not going to move that much in a car seat. :)

Flo

As it is the very start of the story, it's really hard to say if the rythm is good or not. I just felt a little frustrated after page 3 because i didn't learn too much more about the universe you are creating. As it is weekly, i think the good way to go is when each week page setup at least one thing for the story. However, i think that the most important is the whole story. When it will be finished, a speed that could be fine during release could be too fast when you got the whole story in hands. And what will stay at the end is the whole story. It's why i prefer to think that the best rythm is the one you have in mind. Even if it can be frustrating some time while i wait for pages, i know that at the end, i could appreciate more the slow action moments then, when i will read it again and again lol. This is my opinion about it. Really cool comic.

Salvanas

I agree with Flo that what's most important is the total cohesiveness of the final product but I am very excited to be moving faster to get into it. Maybe starting at this pace then slowing down once we're more in the meat of it? I'm not sure what would be best and I trust your judgement on it.

Anonymous

I just love his reaction, trying to slide down in his car seat.

Anonymous

Now we are dancing to the music babe a good speed early allows us to slow down for the more in depth moments solid stuff.

Anonymous
>>48245306

He can only slide down so much with a strap between his legs

Anonymous

Kiddo, you should be less concerned about the security guard seeing you and more concerned about what exactly is your status once you go through that gate.

buckarooblaster
>>48235632

Thank you for this! I really agree with you. Page 3 really missed the mark for that reason. Going forward I'm going to do exactly what you said and make sure each page has a solid story element (or just something cute.... ha!) And if for some reason a page doesn't have any of that, maybe I'll work to push out a bonus page to compensate.

Anonymous

Awesome work buddy! I told you, going back after you write it will let you see things that can be simplified! Keep it up!

Anonymous

I feel like there's a back story that needs to be told about this

Anonymous

Like there's so much we don't know like how did we get here why are they moving here os he in diapers in a car seat to begin with

buckarooblaster
>>48297605

This is kinda like a cold open. As we listen to the characters interact more, details will become more clear. I've never been a fan of starting stories with long expositions.

Anonymous
>>48233518

Totally agree with you about the expressions on the guys face, but hey, if that were me, I would do everything I could to hide, even if it hurt.