September 2021 Update (Patreon)

TLDR IF U DONT WANNA SEE ME TALK ABT MY mental health, I'm shutting down my Discord server on 20th September. That's the only news here haha

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Hi! How is everyone doing? I hope you guys are faring well lately.

For me, unfortunately, I have to confess, I'm not doing so great mentally. These days, when I go online, I keep feeling a huge wave of anger and or anxiety. This stemmed from me not being able to deal with negative comments and the fear of disappointment and guilt for having so much support from people. I know this should be a non-problem..... but it really is so hard for me to ignore, no matter how many times people give me reassurance. Adding onto that, I recognize that lately I've been feeling that way more and more towards people who don't even deserve it, and it's not.... great.

I've tried limiting my access to the internet and try not to read comments, but I've always found myself coming back to Twitter, Webtoon, Discord, etc and fall back into that habit. I knew that I reeeeally need to make it harder for myself to access these communication channels, which is why I've decided that I will close down my Discord server.

I will shut the server down on Monday, 20th September. Until then, feel free to exchange contacts with other server members/friends you've met if you want to, or compile all your memories of this server! (Please keep in mind the #patreon-chat channel is patron-exclusive, so please don't share stuff there publicly ^^).

The server shutdown is not something I'm willing to discuss with anyone. I hope that you respect my decision. I will not transfer ownership of this server, I will not ask my mods to mod for any unofficial servers, etc.

Aside from that, I'm thinking of pausing Patreon again in October and take some time to organize myself. I'm not 100% sure about that yet tho--I'll let you know whenever I decide on that!

I'm also getting more help irl with therapy (both mental and physical??? I'm starting to feel a lot of shoulder pain again lately sobs) and getting some proper medication for my anxiety and insomnia... Ahh the journey of recovery seems very long, but I'll try to work on them more seriously.

But yeah, that's it! If you need to contact me, I should be reachable through Patreon DMs and email (restrainstorm@gmail.com).

Special thanks to my mods Kota, Ashe, Kyo, and Han for helping me manage the Discord server. I appreciate you guys so so much. <3

- Ray