Who Cares What The Number Of The Universe Is So Long As It Ends In Sixty-Nine? (Patreon)

At this point, Kon was used to being stranded in alternate realities. He’d try to get home, sure—all his stuff was back with Clark and Tim and everybody else. But then there was who he was stranded with.

The one named Jane was damn pretty. A bit of a MILF, but with this lissome figure that would always be girlish… a short, clipped haircut that tried to give her a serious vibe, but there was no tomboying that oval face, those elfin features, the big Bambi eyes that were still damn sultry, even with her apple cheeks and the light jab of her chin.

She was cute. There was no doing anything about it. She was so cute, he almost wanted to pet that hot girl crewcut more than he wanted to pound those nubile little hips into atoms.

Darcy, though… Darcy was enough to make him want to fill out a visa for this reality. She was a few years younger than Jane, but there was something mature, adult, experienced in her sassy expressions, the sexy glasses she so knowingly accessorized with.

Her skin was the color of buttermilk, contrasting daringly with her raven black hair, and her figure was delectable. Hips and tits swelling out from a body that was robust, but not fat.

Where Jane was slim and girlish, she was all-woman—va-va-voom out of the 1940s. Lipstick a scarlet spotlight on her voluptuous mouth. It too was pure sensuality.

And whereas Jane dressed professionally, or at least casually, Darcy was one pea coat away from being a runway model. She wore a pair of smooth, tight pants that showed off how toned her legs were, even if she hadn’t exercised away all her decadent curves. On her thin, white blouse… her scarf seemed to do more for her modesty than that top… only the three lowest buttons were closed. Every time she turned around, her coat flared up and her scarf bobbed around and he got to see some more of her thick ass and lush tits. And there was always more to see.

“We’re so sorry we brought you here,” Jane was saying, running from instrument to instrument in her little lab, checking everything there was to be checked in a frenzy that would’ve suggested mad scientist to Kon, if she didn’t look like the girl next door. “It was an accident, really, we were trying to open a wormhole to Thor.”

“Ex-boyfriend,” Darcy explained.

“So she’s single?”

“It’s complicated,” Darcy replied, just as quickly. “I am too, you know.”

“Complicated?”

“Single.”

“Hard to believe.”

“I was waiting for a guy with six-pack abs and pecs like cement blocks. They fall out of the sky around Jane; why I hang out with her.”

“Can’t be the only reason,” Kon remarked, looking Jane up and down.

Even without Darcy’s curves, she was a damn snack and he could tell that wasn’t lost on Darcy. She was dressed sexy for a reason and she hadn’t known he was coming through a portal, so…

Darcy colored, like her bright red lipstick was leaking to her cheeks.

Kon could think of better ways to smudge her lipstick.

“So we must not’ve been specific enough with the quantum resonance!” Jane continued, ignorant of Kon and Darcy’s interplay. “We sent the portal to the right place, just not the right reality—I’m so sorry, this was not supposed to happen—”

“Boss, stop apologizing for bringing him to our reality,” Darcy said. “You’re making it sound like it sucks. I like it here, y’know.”

“Good. Maybe you can make me feel at home,” Kon said, marshaling enough willpower not to stare at her fat tits. He reminded himself that the better he did at not looking at them, the better a chance he had of touching them.

“We are happy to have you here, of course,” Jane said, darting forward with her hand outstretched to shake Kon’s. She had to bend over to snatch up his hand from Kon’s side. “I’m Jane, Jane Foster. Doctor.”

It was evident that, as Darcy had already explained, she hadn’t been getting much sleep in the home stretch of completing her experiment. It was also evident that she wasn’t wearing a bra, as he got a look down her blouse.

“Call me Kon,” he said. “And do it anytime.”

“Do what?” Jane asked, still too frazzled for wordplay.

“Call me.”

***

Darcy liked Thor just fine, but Kon just seemed more her speed. Maybe it was that while Thor was thousands of years old, dude was a bit of a man-child. Kon seemed more honestly immature. Like he was growing up, it was just taking a while.

Darcy could appreciate that. She probably should’ve found a husband by now instead of sticking around Jane just because more sexy people orbited her than The Bachelorette.

But looking at Kon, she was glad her options were open. Ironically enough, he seemed more ready to party than Thor had been. And, feeling his eyes on her, it was pretty obvious that Kon wanted more from her than a kiss on the hand.

She decided to play with him a little. While Jane was being apologetic again, she stroked Kon’s arm sympathetically. His build was as strong and athletic to the touch as it was to the eye; good to know she didn’t need a new prescription.

“Don’t worry about a thing, Kon. We’ll get you home. Promise.” And Darcy moved in to wrap her arms around Kon’s broad shoulders, pressing herself to his bulkhead of a chest. “And until we do, you can stay with us as long as you like. We’ll take good care of you. Real good care of you. You know that, right?”

She drew out the statement so she could hold their embrace a little longer than needed.

***

The scent of her perfume filled his mind. Kon felt nice big sparkplug nipples through her thin clothing and his own scant costume. Never had he been so glad he didn’t wear body armor.

Kon was usually pretty controlled, despite his reputation, but despite the training from hell that was having a functioning libido while living under the same roof as Kory, he was rapidly shredding any hope of hiding his growing stiffness.

Darcy brushed her thigh against his groin as she twisted out of his arms. “Jane, we have somewhere to put Kon, don’t we?”

Kon looked down. With Darcy standing in front of him, his bulging erection was hidden—but he was also maybe one more inch of hardness away from touching the fat ass she had parked right next to his crotch.

“Absolutely!” Jane cried, eager to start making up for her part in Kon’s cosmic exile. “We did have a room set aside for… uh, someone…”

“Thor,” Darcy told Kon… and she was about one more flash of those dark eyes from learning what ‘sore’ really meant.

“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you using it,” Jane continued.

“Yeah, it’d suck to have a nice, cozy space set aside for the big guy and nobody in it,” Darcy said.

If she’d stayed in place, she would’ve been introduced to the floor and the size of Kon’s inseam, in that order, but she made herself a moving target. Walking ahead of Kon just enough to show off her big, rolling ass.

Kon followed her, and the saucy jiggle of her ass, to his temporary room. He kept up some patter with Jane, telling her how it was no problem if she kicked him out of his room whenever Thor decided to show up. In truth, he wasn’t all that thrilled at the idea, much as it might please Jane.

There was clearly some sexual tension with her and Darcy, so by being the only Playgirl-quality stud in the zip code, Kon had a shot at treating his dick to pin-up model and heroin chic at the same time.

It was for Jane’s own good, really. The chick was way too high-strung. She’d scare this Thor guy off if he came back and found that his little lab partner had gone all clinger on him. If Kon fucked her brains out first, it’d be like a bachelor party. She’d be ready for a real relationship.

And, if the dude had a horse-cock, she’d know not to be scared. Lube worked wonders there.

The girls led him out of the laboratory to a Suzuki Samurai. Just looking at it, Kon could see it was about right for the pair. As rugged and functional as Jane would want in a vehicle, but as cute and colorful as Darcy could ask for.

Jane climbed behind the wheel. Darcy slid in beside her. Kon felt like grumbling as he opened the backdoor, but Jane reached back to stop him.

“There’s plenty of room up front,” she said. “And it’s a better view.”

“If only you’d said so earlier,” Kon said, getting in beside Darcy and knowing that he could be sandwiched between her and Jane instead.

Maybe once they got out of the jeep, he could tell them that he’d left his inhaler or something back at the lab.