The Weirdest Thing I Want update (Patreon)

It wasn’t a fetish, Alice knew that much. It wasn’t all sentiment either. As warm as Alice felt, seeing them, she also felt hot. Her nipples tightened and she was acutely aware of her pulse electrifying her adrenaline, but this wasn’t like a battle. This adrenaline led lower, into the core of her, and it made her want to do things so badly she didn’t know how she’d ever be able to stop.

Claire had little Becky up and in her arms, carrying her to bed with just a little of the strength in those impressive muscles, handling the kid as preciously as a family heirloom. Something of a sight to see when Alice was used to the woman throwing her words around like sharp rocks, or lugging her tired body around like a sack of potatoes, a woman who gave so little of a fuck that it couldn’t be seen under a microscope.

And now she was carefully supporting their adopted daughter, one arm under her butt, the other cradling her back.

Alice got Becky’s attention, signing to her even though Becky had gotten so good at lip-reading since they’d been separated in Washington that it was almost scary. She spoke too, for Claire’s benefit, though Claire was throwing herself into learning sign language like she’d been the one who’d wanted kids. “Aww! You’re going to bed now? On time?”

Becky signed back, uh-huh.

“But when you go to bed on time, then you get up on time, and you’re not tired, and you can eat all the breakfast I make you. Claire and I thought we were going to get all of it!”

Make waffles.

“I will make waffles,” Alice said, lingering in the doorway as Claire lowered Becky into her bed. She tucked her in quick, said the quick prayer that had come down from Redfield to Redfield, and was satisfied to see that Becky was too drowsy for a story. 

“Tuck me in next?” Alice asked as soon as the door was closed and they were alone.

“Always,” Claire replied. “Just lemme wash up first.”

She left, one hand touching Alice’s arm and then trailing off it.

It was the closeness, Alice thought. She’d gotten memories of her childhood (a childhood) and they weren’t faded, they were fresh, new, but with none of the alchemy of trading childish things for the world of women. She knew how safe she would feel, if she were in Claire’s arms as Becky had been, and how for once it would be easy to go to sleep if Claire only tucked her in half as tenderly as she did her daughter.

But she had no idea of the words to ask for that, or even if she was supposed to want that in the first place. She was a mother now, by salvage if nothing else, And she wanted to be a mother again, to add to the ad hoc family she and Claire had formed. She wanted not only that intimacy with Claire, but to share it with their children, to have all of them feel safe and loved and happy.

It was just hard to imagine Claire understanding all of that when Alice couldn’t quite figure it out herself.

***

Claire always bathed before bed, for what it was worth. A bucket drawn from the well, a sponge, a few squirts of liquid soap. It was one of the little things Alice had discovered about her in the post-honeymoon period where most of what she learned was just how much she had to learn. Claire’d been anal before the apocalypse, and after, that came out as making her bed every morning and not wanting to muss it up with sweat, dirt, and grime when she slept on it. She went to their bed clean.

Effectively, this meant that every night, Alice got to watch her wife stand in a kiddie pool and give herself a sponge bath. It was a nice sight. Claire had long legs, endless really, promising a smooth journey up from her cute feet to her narrow hips, the delicate curves that became her waist, all the cool, supple flesh that gleamed in the starlight like it was calling out to Alice. The years without battle had worn down the scars and bruises, settled on her like a snowfall, turning the ruin and rubble into a wonderland. There were still pale lines where she’d been cut, puckered little mouths that had ate bullets, but far more of her was healthy tan and well-fed muscle. 

Whatever part of her lust Alice had suppressed, it rang like a church bell now. She wore a strap-on under her trousers and she could feel its heft against her sex, the base of it weighting a million tons, its gravity pulling toward Claire. God, she thought she could feel how hard it was, like it was a part of her…

“Do you always look at me like that,” Claire asked, “or do I just look really good tonight?”

Alice bit her lip. She was too hot to even flirt. “Come to the barn with me.”

“The barn? Alice, I’m about to go to bed.” She drew the sponge over her collarbone, its water gushing over her small, perfect breasts. The shining trickle drew Alice’s eyes like a magnet. “Don’t you want to go to bed?”

Alice shook her head stubbornly. “I have something to give you in the barn. I can’t give it to you in bed.”

Claire grew a lopsided grin, taking her meaning. It could be that Becky was deaf, but she was still sensitive to vibrations. Headboards banging against walls. Chair legs thumping on the floor. If they were slow, and loving, and they used tongues and only some of their fingers, she’d never know. But if Alice wanted to flex some muscle, if she wanted to use her whole fist, if she wanted Claire to know she’d been fucked and not just made love to, then they had to leave the little cottage they’d built in the north pass and go to the barn opposite it.

That was where Alice made Claire scream.

“Should I get dressed?” Claire asked.

Alice shook her head. “You’ll only have to strip when we get there.”

***

They didn’t get many visitors through the north pass, but it had to be watched regardless, if by proximity sensors instead of eyeballs. The end of the T-virus hadn’t led to the cynics’ wet dream Alice would’ve expected. With it dead, the soil was more fertile, the animals were breeding more, even the weather was improving. Milder summers, milder winters, not the saunas and freezers she’d gotten used to.

With the coming abundance, and the dearth of survivors, there wasn’t much point in fighting others. Trade could get you most anything, since no one had all that much—enough CDs could get you a calf, a bookstrap could get you a crate of fruit. And while people remained paranoid and maladjusted, they at least preferred being left alone to going out and finding someone to fight.

Alice knew she did. With Claire’s term up, the outpost kept them out of the way and on their own, able to visit the outside world on their terms instead of having it next door. That was more for Becky’s sake than theirs. Alice couldn’t stop worrying about her, any more than Claire could stop worrying about K-mart, though the girl had long since moved out. Claire kept talking about building her a cabin nearby to stay with them, or maybe for Chris to live in if he got tired of making supply runs. 

The safe little bubble they’d made for themselves was becoming a community, bit by bit. A family. And Alice could live with that. But for now, on that night, she liked having Claire all to herself. She knew Claire wasn’t hers, Claire’s was the group’s and Becky’s and her brother’s and everyone else’s, she’d given of herself so much that she could never get all the pieces back.

But Alice was Claire’s.

The animals were sleeping inside the stable—the horses they used for the ride into town. Not that Alice minded them watching. They deserved a good show for all the work they did around the farm.

She wrapped her arms around Claire, feeling her prickling wet skin, knowing that even the warm summer night was turning cold on her. She helped Claire rub some heat into her body.

“What are you thinking?” she asked Claire. It was all she could do not to start their roll in the hay, but if anything bothered Claire, she wanted to know it beforehand. She hated to think of herself only using Claire for her body and not caring about her well-being. She wanted Claire satisfied and content with everything.

A shiver skipped up Claire’s spine. “Wondering what you’re thinking,” Claire replied. And blushed. “And thinking about you being naked.”

“You don’t have to think about it,” Alice said. “Undress me.”

Claire swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. Excitement passed through her veins like lightning in a thunderstorm. She was dying to touch her wife,  but knew that the fact she wasn’t bent over a bale of hay right about then meant Alice was concerned about something. And if Alice was concerned, she was concerned. She knew it was a neurotic thing to have in common, when they had hundreds of dead zombies to each their names, but Claire guessed that came with being a lesbian.

Her own horse, Gypsy, whinnied and tossed his head in the air as Claire fumbled with the buttons to Alice’s blouse. That horse always had been a bit too attuned to her.

“So what are you thinking?” Claire asked, working her way down to Alice’s trousers, wondering what she’d do there. “And be honest.” 

Alice leaned in, smelling Claire’s hair, and the smile that tugged on her lips was enough to pull Claire away from her pert breasts. “You have no idea, Claire, how much I wanted K-Mart. And Becky, I wanted to find her so much. We got them back, we found them, and so many of our friends—not enough, not nearly enough, but it’s like… we’ve stopped losing things. We’ve started getting them. I’ve been wondering if that should be enough for me.”

“And not another child?” Claire asked. “Not repopulating the earth?”

Alice smiled wryly, ogling Claire’s breasts and thrusting out her own. “It’s not exactly in our job description, now is it?”

Claire brushed Alice’s blouse open, spreading it nearly to her shoulders, and Alice took the hint. She slipped off her blouse and let it fall to the floor. “It is what we talked about. What we wanted.”

“Take off my panties,” Alice told her, voice as rough as whiskey and as commanding as it too. Made Claire feel like she was in a haze that she had to work to break through, even as she dropped to her knees and played with Alice’s belt.

“You do still want it, don’t you?” Claire asked.

Alice shrugged noncommittally. “I want what’s best for us.”

“Why wouldn’t another child be what’s best?”

Alice raised her hands, trying to capture it in a gesture, then dropped them fitfully to her sides. “Because we’re dykes! Because just to come close to doing it we have to find some Umbrella biotech facility, find one of the cloned embryos of me they have lying around, put it in you, have you give birth to it—“

“Her,” Claire corrected.

“And after all that, it won’t be yours. It won’t have any of you in it. It’ll be all me. You’ve given me so much and now you want to raise a child that won’t be your blood. And you deserve to have that, you deserve to see all the wonderful things that are in you come back around…”

Still on her knees, and thinking it was almost fitting for how absurd yet mundane this was—arguing about cloning and artificial insemination, but arguing about it after the zombie apocalypse… Claire clasped Alice’s waist. “Becky and K-Mart don’t have either of our DNA. But I see us in them all the time. Your strength. Your humor. My brains.”

Alice laughed. “It’s not the same.”

“No. It’s not. Nothing is anymore. But it’s so much, Alice. And honestly? Having a tiny you running around—getting to give her the life that was stolen from you—I would be honored by that.” Claire smoothed her hands over Alice’s long, elegant legs, skimming them over Alice’s waistband and latching her fingers onto it. She pulled them down and saw the strap-on, long, knobby, and curved. More than that, the aroma of Alice’s arousal enveloped her mind. Her eyes flowed from its blunt black tip to the curls of Alice’s pubic hair that its base hid. She could feel herself clench as if trying to take that dildo already. 

Alice stroked the strap-on lovingly. “We could always try for a kid the old-fashioned way.”

Claire couldn’t stop staring at the giant cock. How it jutted out almost menacingly, with only Alice’s caressing hand taming it, containing it. “Oh?”

Alice smiled down at her. “Are you taking your birth control?”

Claire shook her head.

“I’m not wearing a condom,” Alice whispered. “Who knows? Maybe we’ll get lucky.”

Claire sucked her lower lip into her mouth and dragged it over her teeth. She could see the lube Alice was rubbing into the strap-on. It was practically dripping off it. And something about Alice, naked, her breasts heaving and a big cock waiting to go, talking about knocking her up, was a turn-on. She didn’t think it was quite that she shared Alice’s fetish so much as that she knew just how aroused it would make Alice, having that fantasy. She wanted that Alice tonight. The Alice who wanted her in ways that weren’t even possible.

Alice stepped close to her lover, sensing Claire’s acquiescence to the game. “Touch it.”

Claire brought a trembling hand to the strap-on. She curled her fingers around it. Quivers raced up her arm. “It’s so real.” Her insides felt like they were melting, the muscles of her womanhood pulsing. She wanted it inside her. She wanted Alice inside her. “You don’t have to pull out. When you come.”

“I promise I won’t,” Alice said. “On your back.”

Claire didn’t need to be told twice. She sprawled herself out on a soft pile of hay, a small voice reminding herself that she’d have to wash it off again before she went to bed, but that didn’t matter when her legs were wide apart and Alice was hard just for her. Her head was swimming. Her eyes, glassy with desire, couldn’t stop staring at the beautiful thing. Wondering if it could fit inside her. Wondering when it would fit inside her.

“Be gentle with it?” Claire moaned. “Go slow at first, okay, I don’t want you to come too fast.”

Alice knelt over her, almost hyperventilating. She stroked the bulbous head of the dildo against Claire’s sopping wet sex. She watched Claire’s face flicker with need. “I could come like this, baby. Just like this. You could make me come just by letting me taste you.”

She pushed the head against Claire’s clit, watching as the passion spread over her wife’s face. Felt Claire’s hands reach up and cup her breasts, one in each hand, squeezing them, grinding them back against Alice’s chest. Alice eased the head of the cock into Claire’s overheated body, then left it nested there, putting her hands over Claire’s hands, keeping them fondling her breasts. She loved the touch of Claire’s hands, the thought that every callused finger tingling over her skin was transmitting to Claire how soft and warm and smooth she was. She loved her body, but she loved it most when Claire was enjoying it.

“Feel good?” Alice teased, knowing the answer.

“Wonderful,” Claire replied. She rolled her hips, her inner muscles sucking on the cockhead that was poised at her entrance. “More.”

Alice was shaking. The pressure of the dildo’s base against her clit had her wild. She controlled herself, though, letting that pressure grow and grow. “What’s the magic word?”

“Now,” Claire emphasized, tightening her grip painfully on Alice’s breasts.

Alice almost purred, clenching Claire’s wrists herself. She loved a little roughness, giving and receiving. Funny for someone who’d fought for her life so long, she supposed. She guessed she just trusted Claire so much that now, all that little bit of pain meant was that Claire knew she could take it.

“And I wondered where K-Mart got it from,” she muttered.

Claire twisted her nipples. “Really the time to bring her up?”

“No. God, baby…” She used her hips, easing more of the strap-on into Claire. Fuck, she could feel Claire tensing on it, resisting it, no, savoring it, letting it into herself only inch by inch. Everything Alice gave her relished. “It’s all I can do not to come right now,” Alice whimpered.

Claire moved her hands to Alice’s sides, getting a grip and pulling, and for a moment Alice thought she was trying to pull her in deeper; it was only her instinctive concern for Claire that had her hold herself still and not plunge into the other woman. But all Claire was doing was pulling herself up, rising against her so she could kiss Alice’s breasts.

“You wanna come inside me?” Claire asked, feasting on Alice’s cleavage as her body took the thick cock an inch at a time. Her hips were jerking, her mouth sucking with the most exquisite pleasure every time Alice gave her a little bite to go with her meal. “I want you to come inside me…”

Alice held herself painstakingly still, jouncing the dildo and then withdrawing it, feeling for herself how wet and open and ready Claire was, no matter how hard she clenched. “You’re so tight, Claire. I can tell how much you want my cum.”

Claire mouthed Alice’s breasts like they were rich chocolate, some candy so decadent that if she took more than the smallest morsel, she’d go into a diabetic coma. “Give it to me. Give it to me now.”

Alice could feel herself revving up like an engine, the base of the dildo pounding against her cunt, her cunt pounding back, like she and Claire were connected, like she could feel Claire’s lust in her own sex. “I’ll come so hard for you, baby.”

"Go harder, Alice. Show me you know I can take it!"

Alice lunged forward, driving Claire to the ground, slamming the entire length of the cock into her. She held it there, a tremor seizing her, watching the shock on Claire’s face as the full impact of being filled registered for her. She stiffened, her eyes wide with so much more than pleasure.

“It’s so deep!”

Alice stared down at her lover from dilated eyes. “I’m coming, baby! I’m coming so much!

Claire shuddered in bliss, writhing like a snake underneath Alice. A dreamy expression filled her face. “Me too! I can feel you—coming inside me!” She lunged up, saw the ecstasy on her wife’s face, and knew what caused it. She did it again, her own pleasure mounting, her desire absolutely unsated from one orgasm.

Alice eased back, then slammed forward again. Passion racked her body. She could’ve sworn she felt Claire clenching all around her. She withdrew, leaving the cock only half buried inside her squirming, whimpering Claire, and settled her hands on Claire’s shoulders to hold her down and herself above her. “Now fuck it, Claire. Let me see you fuck my cock for me. Show me how bad you want it.”

Claire was dizzy with need. Her body acted willingly, without thought. She lunged up, fucking herself on the strap-on. With her ass thumping on the floor, she forced herself onto it. She thrashed wildly on the ground, her eyes fixed on Alice’s approving grin.

Alice held firm, even though she felt like she was drugged, locked in an orgasm that dulled her mind and overpowered her senses. She could see the hay that Claire was stirring with the tattoo she beat against the floor, Claire’s hair switching and swirling out of its wetness, clinging to her face as it was caught in the whiplash of Claire’s head tossing from side to side. 

Each lunge drove heat up into her clit, as if Claire was a match holding herself up to a candle, lighting her. Lights flashed behind her eyes. Throbs of orgasm, a prelude to what would come later, glowed between her legs. This had to be what it felt like to be inside Claire. It had to be.

Claire jammed her body up, rotated her hips, tightening herself on the stiff prick buried inside her. Alice could feel the wetness of Claire, her juices flowing from her, hot and tactile against her groin. Liquid friction.

“You’re so hard! Alice, God, you’re so damn hard!” Claire bucked her hips, thrusting forward. “Making you so goddamn hard!”

Lust flooded Alice’s face. She knew the joy her wife was experiencing. Her pleasure from fucking her was almost as good. She slammed herself down on Claire’s upward thrusts. The redhead’s eyes rolled in their sockets as she was impaled.

“Fuck me, Alice!” Claire squealed. “Fucking come inside me!”

She lashed herself against Alice’s body, gliding her sex along the thick shaft of Alice’s cock. She rammed her hips into Alice as her wife crashed down on her, rebounding off the ground to do it again and again.

Alice matched Claire’s frenzied thrusts. She bore into that eager body, her breasts swaying over Claire’s face as it contorted with pleasure, drilling the full length of her cock into the depths of Claire, feeling the tightness and pressure of her own release at the other end. It was heaven.

The stables were filled with moans of passion. They panted, screamed, and lunged at each other in violent attack. Gypsy neighed, the frenzied noises making him nervous.

Open-mouthed, Claire could finally no longer move. She laid under Alice, locked in passion, her pussy gulping the entire hulking length of its invader. She writhed against Claire, then locked her small hands on Alice’s hips, eyes popping as she tried to pull her lover still deeper inside her.

Alice hung over her, smug, certain, ineffable. "I read that women have a better chance of conceiving if they achieve orgasm. So you need to come for me, Claire. Do you hear me? I'm going to thrust five more times and then I want you to come."

She thrust into Claire, naked hips between naked legs, their bodies lined up like a key going into a lock. Claire gaped, knowing she was fucked, she was in love, she would come for Alice, she would do anything for Alice.

“One,” Alice said.

Alice thrust into her again and she went so deep, a bullet fired from her own cunt that hit dead center, deep inside Claire, and Claire didn’t know how she wasn’t coming already. Her whole body had stiffened, shaking, electric—she’d been a statue before and Alice had brought her to life with these strokes, all her life, she’d been a statue—

“Two,” Alice said.

Claire clenched on the thrust, she gagged on it, choking, she was clenching so hard and with such pressure, she was turning coal into diamonds inside her, she was coming enough for any other day, but this wasn’t her real orgasm, Alice hadn’t finished her yet.

“Three,” Alice said.

She could take so much of Alice, she’d never known how much she could take, how much there was inside her, how much Alice could fill. She could feel herself opening up for Alice and it was beautiful.

“Four,” Alice said.

Claire’s mind went blank. She’d come, she had, how could Alice ask her to come again, how could there be anything more than this, she was feeling everything, she knew exactly how much Alice loved her, there couldn’t be anything else—

“Five,” Alice said.

Claire actually blacked out. She floated on an endless pleasure, completely satisfied, completely content, her whole life centered around the loving invasion Alice had made, feeling the throb of its shockwaves all through her body, a body miles long and she could feel it from the disembodied toes far below her to the very center of her brain. 

When she came to, only a second had passed. She could still feel Alice’s haunches against her thighs, feel that Alice had only just completed the thrust. God, she could feel the leather straps that held the dildo pressing against her legs. She wanted to laugh hysterically.

“One more,” Claire said. “Gimme one more.”

Alice had that big smug smirk that Claire loved to hate so much, or the other way around. "Say what I did to you. Say what I made you do."

Claire knew how dopey her own grin was, but couldn’t stop from smiling. “You made me yours.”

Alice drew her hips back and it was like she was pulling a bowstring…

***

Claire could feel hay in her hair. And hear the chickens clucking in the henhouse. She wondered if Alice could get a gag from the same place she’d found the dildo.

She always screamed when she squirted.

“We should get back.”

Alice was sprawled on top of her, her long tawny body reminding Claire of a lioness with a fresh kill. Who’d’ve guessed she wouldn’t mind being the kill? “We should stay here. With the other animals. Doing our animal thing…”

Claire fondly rubbed Alice’s side, over her ribs, stopping when she found a scar. “What if Becky has a nightmare?”

Alice bit her lip, automatically conceding the point. 

“Or if she woke up, wanted a glass of water, and found her moms naked in the barn—“

“Does she think we do something else in the barn?” Alice folded herself against Claire for one last embrace, teething Claire’s shoulder. “She’s a prude, that kid.”

“She’s our prude.”

Alice got up, going to get dressed, and after those five (six) thrusts, Claire thought she was justified in assuming her legs weren’t working just yet. She laid where she was.

Alice winked at her as she pulled her trousers up over the strap-on. “You coming?”

“Leave me here,” Claire said. “I think I’m still coming.”

Leaving her blouse unbuttoned, Alice came to scoop her up. “I don’t sleep alone anymore, remember?”

“Mmm,” Claire agreed. “Give me a bath too? My arms aren’t working too good either.”

Alice smiled lovingly. “You want a bedtime story too?”

“No. Just you.”

“You’ve got me, then.”