Doctor Who Christmas Special (Patreon)

It was five shopping days until Christmas and Clara had decided to get herself a present. Danny had been gone for months and the Doctor almost as long; she knew nothing could fill the void in her heart that Danny had left, but there were other voids. Her vibrator had been good for them, but one overnight trip in the TARDIS and the Doctor had cannibalized it to build a Zygon detector. She needed a new one and it was time for her to stop feeling sorry for herself, go out, pick one up, and fuck herself silly.

In Clara’s experience, when it came to sex shops, there was a spectrum between scummy and militaristically political. She preferred the political ones, even if they spent way too much time trying to draw her into lectures about the exact differences between bisexuality and pansexuality, and so went to the same place she and Danny had frequented. She resolved not to feel any shame. She was a normal woman with a normal vagina and if she wanted to put a few things in it, that was her business.

She went through the door, reminding herself not to feel shame. The only thing to be ashamed about was feeling shame, and she didn’t. She just walked in, looked to the counter, and saw Missy giving her a cheery wave.

“Hello dearie!” Missy called, doing a hate crime of an Irish accent. “We have a special going on anal beads, you know—how lovely. Or perhaps a nice knock-out beam?”

The next thing Clara knew, she was hitting the ground.