STORY - Pizza Thot: Tips Night! (Patreon)

Here's something I've wanted to do for some time - commission some smutty writing to share with you guys! After reading Luffy316's fic HERE, I decided to make it a reality! So, once or twice a month, I'll be commissioning fics for you guys to read through, complete with preview pics, like the ones above. 

Give it a read, and let me know what you think! If you're a fan of Luffy316's work, you can find more HERE!

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In the city of Queen’s Beach, the little restaurant known as ‘Pizza Thot’ was doing well. In fact, it was doing just about as well as a restaurant full of hot pizza and hotter waitresses could do: with good money, good reviews, and questionable health inspections on the table, they ranked high on just about every local food app in the business.

A brisk winter night hung over the restaurant as the after-dinner calm began to settle in. With the more ‘adult’ portion of the restaurant closed for the weekday, the remaining customers were your usual suspects; stoners, students, and night-owls (or a mix of the three) coming in for last-minute pickups. 

Calm and collected, it was Boss who stayed behind, doing up the numbers of the day in her tiny office on the second floor.

As usual, things were looking good; customers were all too dumbstruck by the onslaught of T&A to be careful with their cash, and her employees seemed satisfied - even happy, in some cases - with their jobs. Of course, if anyone wanted extra money, they knew how best to earn it.

With everything cleared, Boss gave an accomplished sigh, fitting her visor back between her buns. The short, bottom-heavy manager stepped back out into the kitchen, and nodded at the first person she saw - the mostly-androgynous Pineapple, boxing up a fresh pie.

“Order twenty is, uh, ready to go!”

Boss rolled her eyes. The poor boy’s voice was too soft for his own good. 

“You’re gonna have to really shout, if you want to get somebody’s attention,” she reminded him. “HEY, PB! THERE’S A DELIVERY FOR-- AACK!” 

Naturally, PB was already there. The tall and curvy girl, covered head to toe in her uniform and face-obscuring motorcycle helmet, gave her boss a short and silent wave.

“Son of a-- erm, good. You’re ready. Take this - it’s the last delivery for the night. Afterwards, you can go punch out.”

PB took the box, and as per the usual, left without a word. Boss nodded. “You too, Pine. One last cleanup and you can turn in. No reason not to expect another quiet night.”

“O-Okay, Boss!”

Her feminine employee tugged on his clingy shorts; the one part that reminded you that he was absolutely and very much a boy. Boss’ eyes lingered briefly before she snapped out of it and went to do a basic inspection of the place.

It was a Wednesday, which meant the tables would likely be empty throughout the night. At most, they were expecting a few odd pickups, but she was unlikely to see anyone coming in for the ‘Full Service Package’. Nevertheless, she was wearing her thong, just in case. There was no reason to deny a few extra singles.

Coming around the corner, Boss frowned (as she often did) when she saw Cash lounging in one of the booths, texting away on her phone.

“What are you still doing here?” Boss asked. “I let you get off an hour ago.”

Cash lazily raised a hand and waved her over. The slim and dark-haired girl had a distinctly punkish look, with her face painted in eyeshadow, dark lipstick and a few odd piercings. She blew a bubble and popped what Boss suspected might be the same piece of gum she'd been chewing for years. 

"Waitin' for a ride," she said in a low and lax voice. "PB and me are headin' out tonight."

“It’s Wednesday.”

Cash chuckled. “And? It’s girl’s night.” Boss stared at her quietly until Cash raised an eyebrow. "You do know what a girl’s night is, right?"

“...Yeah, of course,” Boss defended stiffly.

“Love that pause. Super convincing.”

"Oh, shut up," the shortstack snapped. "You know how much work I do to keep this place afloat. I don’t have time to go out - even for girl’s nights.”

“Or dates, or vacations…” Cash mused.

“Okay, okay! I get the point, Cash! Now - if you’re not working or eating, get off the floor!”

Cash groaned so hard she blew another bubble. Even so, she got up - but not before resting a hand on Boss’ shoulder. “I’m probably gonna regret this, but… you should come with us tonight. To hang out.”

Boss looked incredulous. “What are you, nuts? I’ve got night shift to cover!”

“Yeah, you look super busy,” Cash muttered, eyeing the empty dining area. “Look, it’s the middle of the week. Leave Tips in charge.”

“Think about what you just said.”

“I mean it. She’s gonna need to make, like, ten pizzas tops. If she forgets how to use the oven, she can ring Chad. Please - just chill out for once in your life, Boss.”

Boss bit her lip and scanned the room again. “I’ll… I’ll…”

“Yeah?”

“...I’ll go leave her some instructions. And I’ll need to swing by my place to get changed.” Cash smirked as Boss darted to her office to scribble a quick note. As she finished, the door kicked open with a resounding ‘BANG!’

It was Tips; barging in with her telltale grin, and a whole lotta body to go around.

“Hey, guys!! Who’s prepped for a sweet-ass night shift!?”

“Tips! Bend over!” Boss ordered, jogging in her direction.

“GAHAHA! Boy, do I hear that one a lot!” Tips laughed, instinctively leaning over to let her boobs hang and bounce to a stop. Boss quickly crammed her piece of notebook paper into her freckled cleavage.

"You're on your own tonight. Everything you need to know is written on that note. Lock up when you're done, and don’t touch the thermostat.” Boss breathed in. “You can play whatever you want on the speakers, but don't make it too loud. If there's a fire, just ring Chadsworth, and don't tell the--"

Cash walked behind Boss and picked her up around the waist, slinging her over her shoulder. "Yeah, yeah. We get it." Despite her protests, she promptly ignored Boss and her thrashing legs and bouncing ass next to her face to make her exit.

Before leaving, she slapped Tips a high-five - once up high, and one on the pale girl’s giant booty.

“Don’t make too much of a mess.”

---

“Whoa.”

Tips’ eyes lit up as she looked over the boss’ hastily-scribbled notes. “I guess this makes me the boss now, huh? Awesome!”

Skimming over the rules (mostly comprised of what not to do), she made a quick circuit around the restaurant, just to make sure that she was alone and truly in charge. Lo and behold, the place was empty.

Tips busied herself for about a minute before the reality of managing an empty restaurant began to dawn on her. The supplies were checked, the place cleaned - it wasn’t too long before Pizza Thot’s lewdest employee was bored out of her mind. She leaned on the front counter, pressing her boobs in-between the cash registers.

“Jeez…” She moaned. “This place is way less fun when there’s no one around. There isn’t even a Boss yelling at me to stop screwing around.”

For the first time in a long time, Tips frowned. She stood up, and began pacing around the restaurant. “Any other day of the week, and we’d have all sorts of horny guys and gals in here. Why call it Hump Day if everyone’s busy doing work!?”

She drummed her painted nails on the countertop before her eyes went wide. 

“That’s it! I’ve got it!”

The freckled delivery girl ran back into her boss’ office, grabbing the company computer as she began to type like mad. Her mind was working overtime; ideas overflowing as she worked a solid half-hour on the perfect phrasing for her message. 

Having gone to school for software development, Boss had created an app for Pizza Thot’s membership service. Aptly named ThotBubble, the service was used to send out promos and coupons to members over the phone. It was particularly good for roping regulars back into the store - which made it the perfect solution to Tips’ problem.

“Alrighty, let’s see…” Tips poked her tongue out as she verbalized her thoughts. “Howsabout this: ‘Hey, Pizza Thot customers! Tips is all on her lonesome, so cum on down to Pizza Thot and help her out! It’s Ladies Night! Copy-paste sexy selfie, and…”

She paused for a moment, and shook her head. “No, nope. That doesn’t sound good. And I guess it’d be Lady Night, huh?” She gently bit her lip. 

“Y’know what, fuck it: Hey, Pizza Thot customers, It’s TIPS NIGHT!! Come on down and bring that spicy sausage for an all-you-can-eat titty buffet! Come in one size only - Extra Large!!”

Tips cackled to herself as she began to type in a fervor. “Two, no-- four exclamation points! That’ll show ‘em that we mean business! ‘All-you-can-tip equals all-you-can-eat!’ Winky face, uh, ‘Tips eats free’, double winky face. Cat face, and-- oh! Duh! Pizza emoticon, and five eggplants. Boom! Send!!”

Tips bounced up from the table, excited at the prospect of more customers to greet. “Damn, Tips! You are such a good boss! GAHAHA!”

---

PB and Cash were walking down the streets of Queen’s Beach in their evening attire, now accompanied by their short and in-need-of-a-vacation Boss. Boss had hastily dressed in whatever she could find: in this case, it was a simple blue dress she had been gifted a few years earlier. She had only worn it once before, but anyone could tell that even now, it was a little too tight around the hips.

Cash was dressed in something typical, but decent; a denim jacket over a t-shirt and skirt. PB, on the other hand, was still in her visored bike helmet - now with a matching catsuit. 

The night was young, but things had been going decently well. That is to say, until a distinct buzz from her purse alerted Boss to a brand new post on her app.

“The heck? ‘Hey, Pizza thot customers, it’s--”

Cash plucked the phone from her boss’ hand and stuffed it into her jacket pocket. 

“HEY! What the fuck, Cash!?” Boss reached to grab it back, but being half the size of her employee meant it wasn’t going anywhere.

“We’re off the clock, Boss-lady,” Cash said casually. “That means no work, no phones. Just your girls, and… y’know.” She nodded at the neon sign in front of the club they now stood under: ‘COCK OF THE BLOCK’ in large print letters, complete with a winking neon rooster.”

“Are… Are you serious?” Boss frowned. “You girls took me to a strip club? You do realize where you work, right?”

Cash shrugged. “Yeah, but we get paid for that. In here? We pay them.”

PB responds with a thumbs up. “Plus, we’re allowed to drink here.”

“This is a dumb idea,” Boss said, rolling her eyes.

“‘Cuz you’re boring?” Cash asked dryly. Boss’s brow furrowed at the comment, and began to grumble once more. “Fine,” she conceded, and followed her coworkers into the dimly-lit club, allowing herself to be swallowed by the loud, deep bass.

---

Tips jumped with glee as she saw the first car pull into the parking lot. A dark-skinned guy entered, taking off his hoodie as he looked around the restaurant.

“Hi!! Welcome to Pizza Thot!” Tips blurted happily as she jumped over the checkout counter, sliding her thick ass across it. “I’m Tips, your waitress for tonight! What can I get for you?”

“I’m not really sure.” The visitor quizzically returned his gaze to a phone pulled from his pocket. “Is this the place with the uh, ‘titty buffet’? My friend forwarded me this…”

“Oh!! Word of mouth! That’s the best advertisement money can buy!” Tips said rather proudly.

“It was an, uh, email. Not a mouth.”

“Ha! There’ll be plenty of time for mouths later, um… what did you say your name was?”

“Rich.”

“GAHAHA!! Good name! Great name, even!” Tips praised. “So - you’re a first timer, huh? I love the new boys. So have a seat here, and I’ll give you the tour!”

Tips lead the young man over to a seat in the waiting area, just to plant her juicy ass into his lap. She wiggled her hips against his crotch as she pointed out the separate rooms.

“That’s the kitchen - where we do all the dirty work! There’s your bathrooms - for the really dirty work, and this,” she bounced a little more, “is our lobby, where I like to keep our guests entertained! A happy customer is a generous customer, y’know?”

“Y-Yeah, I guess?” Rich muttered, trying to shift himself to get more comfortable. It was hard to do with the pale, bespectacled girl rubbing against his cock through his pants. Halfway through her tour, she turned completely around, shoving her freckled boobs into his face as she straddled him completely.

“And that’s where we seat our guests to enjoy spicy, steaming hot dishes,” she cooed, pumping her hips to rub her crotch and tits against Rich. “If eating doesn’t satisfy, then I’m always available to eat a little something myself - or a big something, if I’m really lucky~!”

Tips winked her blue-lined eye at him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “After all, a customer can’t leave until they come, right? So what can I give to you, Rich?”

“So… is this really a pizza place, or…?”

“It’s also that,” she said, winking with her other eye.

“Cool.” He buried his hands into Tips' pillowy ass cheeks, squeezing and groping as she moaned and leaned further into him. Tips gave a moan of approval and pushed her lips into his, grinding his stiffening erection between her thighs as she made out with the new customer. 

They kissed messily as she slid her tongue over Rich's, stroking and inviting it into her mouth until it brushed past her braces. She grinned and unbuttoned her top, letting her pale jugs bounce around even within the confines of her bra.

“Do I pay for this, or something?” Rich asked quietly when Tips finally broke the kiss.

“Tips are greatly appreciated,” she giggled. 

She wrapped her legs around his waist as Rich fished around in his pocket, finding a bill to stuff down the back of her pants. Tips led his hand back to grab her pale cheeks in appreciation, and he gave them a soft squeeze.

"Thank you!!" she smiled, sliding off of him and turning around, shaking her ass briefly to show off her hard-earned bill. She turned back to face him and dipped down, unbuttoning Roger's pants. “Now, could you interest me in an appetizer~?”

“Ain’t that supposed to be the other way around?” Rich asked with a chuckle.

“Is it?” Tips tugged down his boxers and immediately wrapped her mouth around the massively thick cock that came bouncing out. She slurped all over it, and released herself with a pop!

“Wow! I knew I’d like you!”

Her tongue ran around the length of Rich’s member as she pulled her hefty tits out of her bra, keeping the base of his rod within their cushiony hold. As she got into it, spittle and precum drooled over her cleavage, leaving Tips in a precarious position as the door opened once again.

“Alright! This is definitely the right place,” another customer laughed. Tips slurped loudly as she pulled her mouth back, dragging her tongue and pouted lips across Rich’s erection. With one wet kiss against his tip, the boy shot his load down her throat and over her mouth.

“Hiya Duke, Hardy! Come on and get those cocks out! Once I throw these pizzas in the oven, we can get this party started!” Tips threw off the top of her uniform and gave the men a wink.

“Just like, talk amongst yourselves! Decide who wants what hole, y’know?”

With that, she returned to the kitchen with a wiggle of her hips; anticipating a very long night ahead.

---

A crowd of high-pitched voices cheered and whistled as a lithe and well-built man danced on stage. Cash chewed her gum as she nudged Boss in the side. "See? Ain't this kinda hot?"

Boss shrugged as she leaned on their table. 

"I don't see what the fuss is all about. I'm already crotch-high on most people to begin with."

Cash looked towards PB, who folded her arms and shrugged. She turned back to Boss.

“You just gotta get into the spirit of things, Boss. These dudes are here for you to objectify them. It’s fun, right?”

“That’s a terrible lesson to take from all this,” Boss grimaced.

Cash sighed. “You know what you need, Boss?” 

The stout manager turned to the girls, eyeing PB in particular as she held up a glass. Cash grinned at the prospect. “Exactly. Yo, bar-dude! Three Cocktease Cocktails in your girliest fuckin’ colors!”

“You got it!” The bartender started grabbing bottles as Cash winked at her manager. Boss, open and ready to reply, was drowned out again by another wave of cheering women; the next stripper now on stage. 

A waiter came by to set out their brightly-colored drinks at the table, and Cash slid him a few bucks. She raised her eyebrow at Boss as she took a sip of her own. PB, in turn, lifted her visor to place a straw between shadowed lips. The two waited for Boss to take her turn.

She sighed, snatched up her drink, and gulped it down in one go. “Let’s do this, then. Hey! Someone get me another!”

“Hell yeah!” Cash laughed, smiling wider than she had all night. “Let’s go, Boss!”

---

“Oh, you fucking go, girl!”

Tips was on all fours, dressed in nothing but an apron with olive oil dripping down her pale skin. Two men kneeled on either side of her, taking her ass and mouth for a ride. 

Tips was all smiles as she wolfed down one of the many dicks presented to her, running her oiled hands over the balls and up the base of the shaft. She moaned louder as an older man took her by the hair, pushing and pulling her head over his cock. She gave in fully, happy to have a little help in doing her job. It let her focus on rolling her hips, her wobbling ass cheeks slapping together against the dick between them.

Tips pulled her mouth off with another wet slurp as she jerked off her front customer, licking playfully over the tip.

“Here’s a challenge; free drinks to the two boys who can cum inside me at the same time!”

Tips was on a roll, livening up the once silent restaurant as she cycled between pleasuring the dozen or so happy customers that had shown up. Some sat back in the booths, not bothering to put their pants back on between turns as they refueled on pizza and soda. Most importantly, Tips’ tip jar was quickly filling up with bills of all sizes.

The girl was riding high as she ran her tongue all the way up her front customer’s cock before taking him all the way down her throat. She felt him spurt straight into her stomach, moaning and giggling as she popped her mouth free. She grinned and stroked him down, cum running past her lips and sticking to her braces.

“You better hurry up, back there!” She teased, clenching her asshole to add some extra force to her bouncing booty. “I like my tops and bottoms to match, y’know? If you blow it in three seconds or less, that’s the next round free!”

“Oh fuck, oh f-fuck,” the guy behind her grunted. Tips didn’t bother to check who it was - as long as there was something stuffed into the tip jar while she worked on her first customer. The short and scrawny guy humped valiantly against her soft cheeks, working up a sweat as Tips grinned and looked over her shoulder.

“Hurry up, now! That pizza’s getting cold! Give it to me in three… twoo... oooone~…” Tips elongated the very last second as the crowd cheered, but even her juicy ass couldn’t get him to shoot his load in time. The weak-kneed customer grunted and pumped into her, but Tips concluded it with a telltale buzzing noise. 

“GAHAHA! Whoops! Nice try!” She chimed, breaking into a derisive giggle. The vibration of her teasing laugh was the last piece of encouragement he needed to squirt inside her, coating her ass with a fresh layer of cum.

“Aww, there you go, big guy!” Tips praised, smacking her ass to add an even greater jiggle to it. He groaned and pulled out of her, leaving Tips to move to her knees. 

“Alright boys - form a line! We don’t have any darts here, but it’s time to test your aim!”

Tips, now sat upon the floor, spread her thick thighs and tossed off her apron. 

“Step up to that third tile whenever you’re ready! Feet is one point, pussy is three! Tits are, uh two - with three if you get the nipples. In my mouth and on the glasses are five whole points!” 

The customers waited as she counted it out in her head.

“Yep, sounds about right. So! Load up those heavy balls and let me have it! Who’s up first!?”

---

“The blonde one. With the hair.”

“Seriously?” Cash raised an eyebrow at Boss, sipping her bubblegum-flavored drink. The short woman nodded as she downed another cocktail. “He’s kinda…” PB made a broad gesture around her sides. “Yeah. He looks kinda big for you.”

“Sho what? I kinda like big guys.” Boss set her empty glass next to the three others as she eyed up the various strippers on stage. A broad and muscular man kept her attention as he grinded against one of the poles - especially distracting was the huge and bouncing bulge in his speedo.

"I just thought you'd go after a dude who'd be like, kind of a bitch," Cash chuckled. "The way you boss everybody around, Boss…"

“Hey. Without me, Pizza Thot’d shtill be that abandoned dump!” Boss rambled drunkenly. "We’re making good money, okay? Pizza Thot’s the way it is because we work hard, and we work hard because I’m the grinch that has to keep everyone in line."

Boss let out a tiny burp. “But I do it well. Okay? I--” She gestured vaguely at PB. “PB knows. Right, PB?”

PB shrugged, and nodded. “Yeah.” She said, visor and all.

Cash smirked and patted Boss on the back. “Lady, you are fucking shitfaced. And that’s the true spirit of Ladies Night. Yo, Blondie!” Cash stood up and waved a fistful of bills in the air. 

“My Boss needs one hell of a lapdance!”

Boss bit her lip as the male stripper came over, his massive cock strained against his speedo. Sometimes it was fun being at crotch height. “I jusht want you to know that I respect shex workers,” Boss rambled. “Also, WOO! LADIES NIGHT!” 

She smacked him on the ass as he did his best to grind on the shortstack manager without crushing her.

---

“WOO!” Tips stood up again, wiping layers of cum from her exposed skin, licking her fingers triumphantly. “Now that’s a lotta secret sauce! Definitely a winner in big balls over here!” Tips carefully tried not to slip on the puddles of mixed jizz beneath her as she gestured towards one of her satisfied customers.

“It’s John,” the heavy guy with the shaved head replied.

“That is a great fake name, John! Good for you!” She shook her head, whipping a few globs from her hair before reaching to massage her ass.

"Seriously, bonus points for you. I didn't even think you could cum in my ass from that angle. Go help yourself to a Crustatito™, big guy.” He gave a thumbs up and walked away.

“As for the rest of you - what do you guys say to one more game?" 

The men cheered, some more weary than others, but the hot and horny pizza girl otherwise had them hard and riled up.

“Good, ‘cause I gotta do some serious mopping after this. Everybody make a line!”

Tips hopped onto the countertop, laying on her back and spreading out her legs as she leaned around to grab a stopwatch from behind the register. Boss would sometime use it to test their prep time and deliveries - especially if Tips was taking too long to get ‘compensated’.

"Listen up, boys! Everyone gets my pussy for a minute at a time, then tag out! Rest of you can do whatever you want with the rest of me! First one to get me to cum gets to, uh…”

Tips drummed her nails. “Ah, who cares!? Get in here and fuck me, boys!" 

Met with some enthusiastic laughs, Tips rested in wait as the familiar Rich stood up to bat. Slapping his length between her legs, he immediately pushed his cock into her pussy, lubricated by sweat, cum, and her own excitement. He pumped her hard enough to sway Tips’ breasts up and down, almost threatening to smack herself in the face as she bit her lip with her shark-like teeth.

"Now that's the good-- Ah!," she groaned as Rich grabbed hold of her bouncing boobs. He pinched on her nipples until she squealed with delight, stretching out the freckled udders and using them as leverage to push himself deeper into her. Her fat ass slapped against his lap as her sweaty body slid back and forth along the counter. 

"Come on and pump that pussy. Give me that nice big tip!" Tips encouraged - until her stopwatch began to beep. 

"Whoops! Next customer! Now serving number two!" she chimed pleasantly. A large and muscular dude with dyed blue hair stepped up, ramming a massive cock deep inside her.

"HO-WOW!!  Now that’s what I call a meat-lovers special!" Tips rambled, eyes rolling back as her face took on euphoric grin. "It's like you’re fucking my brain with that monster cock!" The man raised an eyebrow, but continued to pound her.

Some of the other boys had gotten tired of waiting, groping her tits and kneading them around like two big lumps of dough. The pale and soft skin stretched easily as they played with them, prompting Tips to blindly reach out and grasp two of the impatient men by the cock. She jerked them off on either side as Rich moved behind the counter, pulling her hair to stuff himself into her mouth. She let out some muffled shout, but he didn't care as it just made her tongue and lips move around his shaft with a subtle hum.

The scrawny guy who had fucked her ass before stepped up next, stuffing her pussy with his long, slim cock. It wasn't as thick as the last guy, but he pushed in deep and the shape was perfect to slide right along her clit. Her whole body shook as he pushed right against her sweet spot, rolling her eyes back as she grinned so hard she started drooling. Even if she had her mouth free she couldn't have kept up her dirty talk. It didn't help when one of the younger guys climbed onto the counter, straddling her stomach and sliding his cock between her tits. 

Tips squealed with delight as her body was used by as many men as could cram in around her, spurting cum on her tits, face, thighs, belly. She gulped down a fresh load from Rich as she gurgled quietly on the mouthful of hot seed. Her watched beeped again and she nearly fell off the countertop as the next man plowed into her. A pot-bellied guy with a cock so wide it barely fit inside her made her mouth pop open, howling with pleasure as her pussy was crammed full. Her body was overloaded as her whole body shuddered, her hips bucking as she came all over him. The horny men couldn't tell she had even orgasmed until the hung man pulled back out and her cum squirted out, spraying out under the tight pressure with a mix of stranger's jizz.

"Ohh, holy shit~!" Tips groaned, eyes wide and glassy as she panted for air. "Jeez, guys, time out... that's... wow, that was fucking hot as hell." 

She laid on her back, breathing heavily as the mounted young man finished fucking her tits and splashed his cum over her freckled face and cleavage. “Alright, okay. I should really start cleaning up." The assembly of men groaned, this time in disappointment. Tips slid off the counter, standing unsteadily on her shaky legs. Her head was still spinning from the orgasm as she looked over the crowd. 

"Hey - you know what?" she said, looking at the bummed out faces. "I’m the boss, aren’t I? So let's keep the party going! Pizza Thot is open late - and so is my puss--"

---

“Are you kidding me? What the shit, Tips!?”

Tips yawned, stumbling out of her stupor as she tried to gauge her surroundings. She stretched out, cringing when she pulled some cum-stained hair from her face. She had cleaned up most of the assorted stains around the restaurant like she'd promised. She'd also worked so hard last night that she passed out on the checkout counter wearing nothing but an apron and a half-eaten slice of pepperoni. Boss was standing there with her arms folded, wearing the usual glare she had when she was dealing with Tips.

"Oh. Hey, Boss. I guess I pulled an all-nighter," Tips said with a weary smile.

"You were meant to take care of the night shift! Where the hell did all this jizz come from!?" Tips climbed off the cashier counter and Boss jumped up, smacking her in the tits. 

"And who the hell is that guy!?"

"Sorry. I-I was just, uh, leaving." Rich pulled on his pants, awkwardly shuffling through the door.

"Just another happy customer, Boss."

"You have five seconds to explain yourself, Tips."

"Well, it was a typical boring Wednesday, so I thought - Hey! Why not make it Tips Night?"

"Tips Night."

Tips reached over and pulled up her tip jar. The plastic jug originally used for their bulk marinara orders was stuffed full of dollar bills. "Tips Night!" she said happily. Boss stared at the mound of cash. It was flooded with money, easily hundreds of bucks more than they should have made. She pushed Tips aside and went to the register, punching in a few codes and running the numbers.

"Did… Did you just make ten times as much money than we usually do - on a Wednesday!?"

Tips shrugged. "Dunno! I made a bunch though. I think it went really well!"

Boss let out a weary puff of air, shaking her head in disbelief. "I'm not gonna ask questions." Though she probably would look over the security tapes just to be sure. 

"I guess Ladies Night wasn’t such a bad idea after all."

"Oh yeah! How was the thing with Cash and PB?"

"Pretty fun," Boss admitted, absentmindedly rubbing her head. "I've just got a hell of a headache."

"Gahaha! I guess even you get hangovers, huh?"

"Wardrobe malfunction, actually," Boss grumbled. "A guy with junk the size of your head sounds fun until that thing goes flying out of control."