Lewd Dungeon, Book 26 Prologue (Patreon)

Trade chat time, baby!

Prologue – Trade Chat

(Adventurer’s Guild Official Forums, Miami Branch)

SunnyBunz, MightyMouse, ImAPally, DontYouWantMe, AsaAkiraIsBae, BestGirl, LatinHeat, Salty, Backpage, Craig34, l33tpally, Anonymous3, Anonymous4, RedFox, Kimiko, DonnyJuan, Crusader, BadCompany, HurricaneGal, Ambassador, Scholar, Righteous, Id10t, Satyr, DarkEnchanter, RangerMiguel, ScoopGirl, VenusFlyTramp, MagicMike, TsundereHealer, Max, LightningLegacy, SwiftTaylor, Domino, Bacchus, Aegis, Temptation, and Lord_Kickass are in the chat.

Righteous: So, is it true that the Demon is getting involved in politics? Because he’s looking like he’s getting into politics.

Domino: I doubt it. Probably just part of some new game, for him.

DonnyJuan: Anyways, for him to really be part of politics, he would have to be a citizen living on US soil. Which means the government would be able to control the dungeon and Swamptown.

Craig34: Like he’d ever let that happen.

ScoopGirl: Actually, there’s a case that just hit the federal courts, in Texas. A dungeon out there, near the border with Mexico, is trying to claim that dungeons are all independent of the nations they might be located in. No clue how that will play out, though.

Temptation: I know the dungeon in question. I cannot say much, except that, before the Apocalypse, a Sovereign Citizen lived on the site.

Id10t: Oh, god, one of those nutjobs? They just don’t want to pay taxes or follow rules, while still living in civilization and leeching off of it!

Temptation: Yes, that’s part of the reason why I’ve made sure that Swamptown is energy independent.

ScoopGirl: What? This is the first I’ve heard of that!

Temptation: Oh, yes. I set up mana collectors and generators, which help turn ambient mana to electricity. Swamptown is small enough that this can work with the localized generators I’ve put in place. And I’m using the System as my ISP, so I don’t need to rely on any outside entities for the running of Swamptown.

Craig34: Wow, man. Why go so far?

Temptation: Because running power lines out through the swamp is a horrible idea, with all the monsters out there, and because I was the first one to argue that dungeons should be separate entities, akin to embassies, from the nations they reside in. I just didn’t take it to court, because no one pressed me on it.

ScoopGirl: So, you’re saying that this dungeon in Texas is, um, like you?

Temptation: There are limits to what I can say, understand. Just like I won’t go asking you to reveal sources, there are professional considerations in play when it comes to how much I can say about other dungeons, especially in public.

SunnyBunz: Hey, Temptation. Care to tell us why you’re going and supporting the President’s new bill?

Temptation: Of course. Like I’ve said elsewhere, anyone who can’t live up to MY levels of honesty is either too corrupt or too stupid to be put in charge of a kindergarten bake sale, much less anything more important.

Crusader: Is it wrong that I agree with him?

LatinHeat: Nah. What he’s saying makes sense. It just isn’t something that most politicians or corporate news types will like to hear.

BadCompany: Plus, it isn’t like they’re going to be censored or anything. They just have to put up a sign saying that it is all opinion. Or go on a comedy show, or take it to a podcast, instead. Basically, the only thing they can’t do is try and say that it is news.

BestGirl: But Temptation, you don’t do anything for free. What did you get for going on the record supporting the bill?

Temptation: Oh, all I agreed to do was to make a few public statements where I expressed my true opinions of the bill, and to let my church here on Earth know my feelings. In return, well, I was able to establish new nodes of my transport network, linking in Washington, D.C., Hawaii, Puerto Rico, and the US Virgin Islands.

Max: I noticed that. Economists say that this will revolutionize the economy of Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands, since deliveries will be much easier to deal with.

DontYouWantMe: Actually, I know of three courier companies that have already started business doing deliveries exclusively to places covered by the portals.

Temptation: Three US companies. There are also companies from France, China, Columbia, and South Africa which have been using my portals for their business.

Salty: This was always your plan, wasn’t it? Make yourself essential, so that no one would want to move against you, even if they weren’t bound by contracts.

Temptation: Yes. Or, at the very least, to ensure that anyone who came after me would be working alone, without support. By this point, I have moved past the stage where conventional attacks can endanger me. Even an orbital strike on the dungeon would not kill me, though it would weaken me.

AsaAkiraIsBae: Because becoming a god means you’re no longer just the Dungeon Master?

Temptation: Yes, the only way for mortals like yourselves to permanently kill a god is to wipe out all their believers, destroy all their temples, and erase any mention of them. My faith has spread far enough, and my word further still, that you would likely end up losing many inhabited planets before the task was done.

DontYouWantMe: So, fighting a god is useless?

Temptation: Not at all. You might win, after all. If you kill a god in their mortal avatar, then they will be weakened, and be forced to remake their avatar from scratch. You might even pick up some of their divine power, becoming a demigod.

MightyMouse: What if two gods fight?

Temptation: If they fight in the mortal realm, well, it would be the same as if a mortal won the fight. In the realm of the gods, things would be slightly different. A god can slay another god. The consequences of that aren’t to be taken lightly, however.

Crusader: What kind of consequences?

Temptation: Well, if, say, I were to square up against Pofmis, and kill her in the godsrealm? Then I would be forced to choose between consuming her essence, which could be disastrous for me since we are so diametrically opposed, or allowing that essence to go free. Most of that essence would be lost, as her followers lost faith, but some would remain, and she would be able to reform as a goddess again, though her personality would likely be different, shaped by the loss her people felt at her passing.

LatinHeat: Dios mio!

Craig34: Holy shit. That real?

Ambassador: While I do not have direct knowledge, there are stories of battles between gods, and they mention similar themes. It is part of the reason why gods work through their followers, rather than directly manifesting most of the time.

Crusader: Damn. I was hoping that the Chainbreaker could slay him.

Temptation: She tried. She failed. And then we made a deal.

Crusader: WHAT? LIES!

Temptation: I never lie.

Scholar: What did this deal entail?

Temptation: Oh, I’m not the kind of guy to give up all the details for free. Suffice to say, she deeply regrets not reading the terms and conditions before she challenged me to combat. Sucks to be her.

Crusader: DAMN YOU!