Lewd Dungeon, Chapter 248 (Patreon)

Chapter 248 – Washington D.C.

Finding a place to put a core spike in Washington D.C. was just as difficult as the President made it out to be. In the end, once I assured people from the Parks Service that I could have the whole thing be minimally invasive, aesthetically, they allowed me to put the spike on the National Mall, right across the street from the museum, and facing a refreshments center across a walking path. A perfect spot, if I said so myself.

Designing the building I put up was the tricky part. I didn’t want to make it look out of place, but I also didn’t want it to be boring. That was a tough ask, when the only other buildings around were a generic refreshment stand, and the museum itself.

Thankfully, I had a lot of options available to me, given how I’d expanded. I made the ‘ground’ level simple, using dungeon stone that matched the construction of the museum across the street for the walls, with trim and doors made from dungeon wood and painted in the green colors of the refreshment stand, with the same green roof. This combined the two styles, and made the building not look too out of place from the outside.

On the inside, well, I dedicated it to processing of the contracts, and providing a bit of a rain shelter. The interior looked and felt like a transit station, by design. Stairs heading down, underground, led to a simple room where people who had signed the contracts could transfer to the main hub in Swamptown, and also a ‘baggage check’ area, where people traveling could check in anything they did not wish to take with them out into D.C. proper, and, for a modest fee, could keep it safe in until they came back for it.

That was actually something I had at all of my ‘terminals’, actually. It was impossible to steal from the check stand, for the simple reason that the objects in question were all transported from the simple locker behind the counter to an area that was warded against scrying, divinations, teleportation magics, and all other means of accessing or spying on the space that I could think of. And the ‘people’ working the counter were dungeon creatures, making them completely loyal to me.

I had considered putting a big, fancy shrine up, but that would have led to perception problems, with this being on the National Mall, so I satisfied myself with a small shrine off the main transit room, blocked off by a door that was invisible to anyone who wasn’t a follower of mine. The door was actually charmed so that only my followers could open it, too. So, the optics of someone finding it and getting offended were really freaking small.

Small as the shrine might be, it was enough for me to manifest my presence in the city, without being actively invoked. That was another thing. As a dungeon, I could only manifest my avatar within my dungeon. As a god, though, my avatar could manifest in areas near my temples and shrines, or when my worshippers invoked me. As both, well, I got the best of both worlds.

In this case, my shrine’s position meant that, along with most of the Smithsonian’s different buildings, that I could reach the US Capitol building with ease. Even the White House was just barely in the radius. And, because of my dual nature, manifesting a physical avatar was far easier for me than it was for other gods.

Which is why I was currently causing a bit of a stir, dressed in my black outfit, with demonic features on full display, standing in line for a tour of the Capitol. I’d never actually been before, so I didn’t see any reason not to, now that I was able. The fact that it was a good way to kick off my little talks about the President’s bill was only icing on the cake.

Of course, Capitol Police were nervous, just looking at me. Sure, there were elves, and other types of fantasy-looking creatures in the line with me, but I looked like a demon, and I was Tier 2. Even without the divine aura that surrounded me, just being a higher tier gave off an aura that warned lower-tier creatures of danger. Oh, sure, I could suppress both auras, if I wanted to. I certainly had while I was dealing with the priest and the President, but I saw no reason to do so here. After all, all I was doing was standing in line for a tour, right?

Finally, one of the people running the tours walked up and asked if everything was all right. The poor guy looked like he was about to piss himself, so I didn’t think it was an exercise in courage on his part, but rather someone forcing him to be the canary in the coal mine. Except he was completely aware of how well that worked for the canary.

“Oh, no,” I said, loud enough that the cops who totally weren’t eavesdropping nearby could hear. “Nothing at all is wrong. I’m just a god here to take a tour of the Capitol, like any member of the public is free to do.”

The look on the man’s face flashed with relief at me mentioning there wasn’t a problem to a different kind of worry and concern at me telling him I was a god. “Uh, what do you mean, you’re a god?” Well, I guess that would be off-putting to people who weren’t expecting it, so I didn’t hold the question against him.

“Oh, it is simple, really. I am a former human raised to godhood through the System. But, before the Apocalypse, I had never gotten the chance to take a tour of the Capitol, so I thought there was no time like the present.”

One of the people next to me in the line got a bit of courage from my answer, and said, “So, does this mean that God isn’t real?”

I smiled, and shook his head. “The answer to that is complicated. Yes, the gods that arose in human religions across our history, back to the days of the first civilizations being founded all the way back along the Indus River Valley, Mesopotamia, and the banks of the Nile all exist within the system. The truth of this can be seen in how those who use divine magic can cast spells now when they pray to Thor, or Osiris, or Shiva, or, yes, the God of the Jews, various Christian faiths, and Islam.

“However, that last part is why the God of those three religions has not ‘woken up’, or announced himself. There is only one Odin, one Athena, one Verethragna. But the Jewish god is depicted one way, while the Christian god is supposed to be the same god, but also incorporates a Son and a Holy Spirit. And then you have the schisms with different factions of Christianity forming. Then Islam comes along, and says that their god is the same one as the other two, but that the Son was just another prophet, and so on.”

I paused, and looked at a few of the cell phones that were blatantly recording me, and said, “Faith and belief are powerful forces. Even without a System, they caused gods to be. But when you have faiths that rip and tear at a single being, believing that they are each different and yet the same? Well, is it any wonder that your God has not manifested himself? I have no doubt that he will, in time, but first the fractured must be made whole, through shared belief, or melded into separate beings, similar, but not the same.”

“How do we know this is the truth?”

I had been expecting this question, and smiled widely, “I am Kuronoth, the one known as the Demon of the Dungeon and God of Pleasure, Domination, and Dungeonkind. None can say that my words are not truth. They may not be truths you wish to hear, but they are truth.

“And so, I tell you, that none of your faiths are invalid, just because the god you call to has not answered yet. The faith that you, and yours, have put forth for thousands of years gives the gods being, but some gods will be longer to ‘awaken’ fully than others, as the conflicting beliefs of multitudes lack the clarity of purpose of a few believers of a singular vision.”

“An interesting story, if true, but demons are known for their lies and corruption. How do we know it isn’t heathens like you that are preventing God’s will from being done? All we have is your word, and the word of a Demon is worthless!”

I turned to look at the new voice, and grinned a predatory grin. It was an older man, with white hair, with a couple people in black suits following him around as protection as he ‘just so happened’ to be walking past. I recognized him as the congressman for the part of Florida which covered the Everglades.

“Ah, but I can assure you that what I say is true. In fact, I would be willing to sign a contract under the System to that effect, if you would join me, Congressman. After all, what kind of politician would shy away from the chance to say, with utter certainty, that their words were the truth, in a way that their political rivals could not besmirch or call into question? After all, that would be like trying to argue against science just because the facts disagree with one’s ideology, right?”

The congressman, who had clearly been hoping to score some points with the religious base back home, suddenly looked a bit uncomfortable. “Ahem. As a representative of the great state of Florida, I would, of course, have to look over any contracts thoroughly before signing anything.”

“Oh, that’s fine. I have one right here.” I snapped my fingers, and a magical contract appeared in front of the congressman, floating in the air. “It has only one provision. ‘I, the undersigned, shall say nothing that I know to be untrue.’ No harsh penalties, or anything like that. Nothing for lawyers to weasel around. Just a simple statement, backed up by the System itself. If you sign this, then no political opponent could ever claim you were lying, for the System itself would make you physically incapable of such an act.”

The congressman froze, but I pretended not to notice. “Just think, Congressman, you could lay to rest all those nasty accusations about whether limiting the number of polling places or sending out mail-in ballots late was politically motivated on the part of your office. And none of those messy allegations of you flip-flopping on issues to go with whoever you think will get you elected to higher office. Wouldn’t that be great? You would be able to perfectly represent your constituents, because they would know, for certain, that whenever they asked you questions, you would tell them the truth.”

The congressman looked uncomfortable, and said, “Well, um, I will give due consideration to that. However, I must be going, as I am late for a vote.”

As he turned to leave, I called after him, “Oh, if you sign, I’m afraid you’ll have to actually tell the truth about things like that, Congressman. No faking a vote to get away from uncomfortable truths, I’m afraid.”

I smirked as he did not respond, but instead just hurried into the building. With a snap, the contract, which was still floating in the air, disappeared. “Such a pity. It would have been a real feather in the cap to say that I had been instrumental in creating the first truly honest politician.”

Suffice to say, I did not have any other ‘surprise meetings’ for the rest of my time in the line, or during the tour itself. I did, however, have a lot of people asking me questions while I walked, all of it being recorded and streamed to the internet. There were a lot of topics, all of which I answered honestly, or not at all. And, throughout the whole thing, I commented often about how ‘truth’ was a valuable thing, and how damaging lies could be.

Finally, at the end, I was asked for a final statement. With a smile, I said, “Well, I really would like to see this Veritas Act passed. After all, news you can trust is important. And can you really trust any news source that holds itself to a lower standard of honesty than a Demon God?”