Lewd Dungeon, Book 24 Prologue (Patreon)

You read for some Trade Chat?

Prologue – Trade Chat

(Adventurer’s Guild Official Forums, Miami Branch)

SunnyBunz, MightyMouse, ImAPally, DontYouWantMe, AsaAkiraIsBae, BestGirl, LatinHeat, Salty, Backpage, Craig34, l33tpally, Anonymous3, Anonymous4, RedFox, Kimiko, DonnyJuan, Crusader, BadCompany, HurricaneGal, Ambassador, Scholar, Righteous, Id10t, Satyr, DarkEnchanter, RangerMiguel, ScoopGirl, VenusFlyTramp, MagicMike, TsundereHealer, Max, LightningLegacy, SwiftTaylor, Domino, Bacchus, Aegis, Temptation, and Lord_Kickass are in the chat.

Backpage: So, like I was saying, if you mix the Pleasure Slime Jelly with your favorite energy drink, the result is like super-viagra. Gets you up, and keeps you going for hours.

Craig34: Sounds like a scam, like one of those ‘grow 5-6 inches in two weeks’ pills from the internet.

MagicMike: Except he’s not wrong. I’ve used it myself. Was performing at a bachelorette party last week. They don’t pay for limp dick, and once they get a few drinks in them, those girls go wild! Beat my old record of seven. New record is twelve satisfied customers in a night.

Domino: Uh, first, let me say WOW and, second, HOW?

Temptation: Magic. Also, the Pleasure Slime Jelly gives increased libido, stamina, and potency, with a quicker recovery time, while the energy drink gives the energy you need to keep going.

Anonymous3: So, what, this is like alchemy?

Backpage: No, just simple mixing. Although, someone with Alchemy or Brewing skills would probably be able to get an even better effect.

MagicMike: The version I was taking was alchemy. I’m calling it Demon’s Due.

Backpage: Really? Where’d you get it?

Temptation: Guess.

Backpage: Wait, what? Since when did you start getting into that business?

Temptation: I put an add up on a message site for product testers. MagicMike was one of the people that answered the ad.

Righteous: So, um, what affect does it have on other issues, besides allowing a male stripper to satisfy a whole room of ladies?

Temptation: Well, I’ve only done a small test so far, but it seems that it can overcome some kinds of ED, so long as all the equipment is there, and hooked up correctly.

Craig34: So, as long as you aren’t a eunuch, then?

Temptation: Pretty much.

ImAPally: Hey, not to break this up or anything (OK, totally to break this up), but what is the deal with the notice just put up on the guild boards, looking for people to go and establish a ‘dungeon town’ like Swamptown over by that Necropolis?

RangerMiguel: Well, there’s another post explaining that. Basically, the barrier that contained the undead made by the failed spell which raised the necropolis ended up concentrating the energies, and causing a dungeon to form. The reason adventurers are needed to go out there, and soon, is that dungeon undead grow in strength if they aren’t killed.

Scholar: Wait, what? Where did you hear this?

Temptation: Again, guess.

Scholar: How long have you known this?

Temptation: Oh, since about three days after I put the first undead in my dungeon.

Scholar: And you didn’t tell anyone?

Temptation: I did, when it became relevant.

Ambassador: Oh, dear. We forgot that you all didn’t know about how dungeon monsters gain power over time. It is common knowledge to us, so we didn’t even think to see if you’d been told.

Craig34: Told what?

Ambassador: It is well known that dungeons cause their monsters to grow and change in subtle ways, depending on the type of dungeon, and the type of creatures they employ. Beasts will often get elemental forms, and Constructs will typically develop immunities or better weaponry.

Temptation: Likewise, Slimes and Plants get new variants easily, allowing for a growth in different types of monsters to attack with.

Ambassador: But Undead have trouble changing in the normal ways, probably because they are, after all, dead. So, the System makes it so that dungeon undead gain levels over time. And, if they are destroyed, when they return, they retain some measure of that increased power.

BadCompany: That would explain why the undead dungeon in what used to be a mall in Atlanta keeps getting run so often, even though the loot and XP aren’t really worth it. Keeps the undead from growing to be a problem, right?

Ambassador: Correct. That is also why dungeons that primarily use undead are monitored closely as soon as they are found, and ones that look as though they will try and break their monsters out and into the world at large are considered dangerous enough that they are destroyed before they can prove a hazard to life. Or, they are artificially ‘broken’, giving a situation like you see near Orlando, which is actually far safer, overall, than a rogue undead dungeon.

ScoopGirl: Wait, undead overrunning a theme park and killing who knows how many people is actually the ‘better’ result?

Ambassador: Indeed, it is.

ScoopGirl: May I call your office, and maybe set up an interview? I have a feeling that this is going to be huge.

Ambassador: Of course, though I am primarily staying in my people’s primary embassy in Tokyo at the moment.

ScoopGirl: Ah, well, a video conference would work well, too. Or I can fly out there.

Temptation: Actually, negotiations were completed yesterday, to open up one of the portals in several new locations, coincidentally aligning with those who have traded with me before.

RangerMiguel: Yes, the Adventurers’ Guilds in different countries have agreed to the deal, allowing portals connected to the network to be made in Beijing, Paris, Moscow, London, Berlin, Tokyo, Bogota, and Pretoria.

DonnnyJuan: Wait, there were guilds in all those Countries already?

RangerMiguel: Some of them may have been… sponsored by state and local interests. But for most of them, yes. The ability to travel across the globe without worrying about the normal hazards is a powerful thing.

LatinHeat: Won’t this put airlines and shipping companies out of business?

Ambassador: No. I’ve seen similar setups run on other worlds. Not through a dungeon, mind you, but similar enough all the same. The companies most affected will be those that ship small packages. Even then, they would have to adjust to the rise of portal and teleportation magics, regardless.

Temptation: Dimensional storage reacts badly to portals, if there’s anything in there, so it ends up being what you can carry or haul behind you on a cart. Not exactly going to be crippling the logistics of freight companies.

ImAPally: Anyways, how did the info on this Necropolis dungeon get out?

Temptation: Because I have information you don’t, I sent teams to check on the Dark Necropolis and Mooney Harbor dungeons. And be glad I did, since I was able to persuade the Dark Necropolis dungeon that requiring the original toll every time you entered the dungeon was a good way to get the dungeon blown up.

Craig34: Uh, how did you do that?

Temptation: I had a chat with my counterpart there, and informed him very nicely that if the dungeon kept running like it was, I would have my people shatter the dungeon’s core so it wouldn’t be a problem for me down the road.

Craigh34: Ah. I see.

Temptation: Needless to say, I was quite persuasive, and that is why human sacrifice is only an ‘optional’ path to get into the dungeon, instead of being the best path.

RangerMiguel: Suffice to say, I’ve had a long weekend of work, sorting through all the reports.

MagicMike: I have an extra dose of Demon’s Due I’ll send you, so you can go wild at the club, take your mind off things.

RangerMiguel: Uh, thanks?