Lewd Dungeon, Book 23 Prologue (Patreon)

Prologue – Trade Chat

(Adventurer’s Guild Official Forums, Miami Branch)

SunnyBunz, MightyMouse, ImAPally, DontYouWantMe, AsaAkiraIsBae, BestGirl, LatinHeat, Salty, Backpage, Craig34, l33tpally, Anonymous3, Anonymous4, RedFox, Kimiko, DonnyJuan, Crusader, BadCompany, HurricaneGal, Ambassador, Scholar, Righteous, Id10t, Satyr, DarkEnchanter, RangerMiguel, ScoopGirl, VenusFlyTramp, MagicMike, TsundereHealer, Max, LightningLegacy, SwiftTaylor, Domino, Bacchus, Aegis, Temptation, and Lord_Kickass are in the chat.

MightyMouse: Holy hell. That was a dragon. A real fucking dragon!

BadCompany: I know, right? Fuck, I never thought I’d see a real dragon!

Satyr: I’m just glad that those jets drew the thing off before it got overland.

Righteous: Any news on that pilot that got shot down?

TsundereHealer: Yeah, a couple guys in a speedboat picked him up once the dragon was out of the picture.

Righteous: Thank goodness for small favors, then. It was nasty seeing what happened when the dragon breathed on that guy on the boat.

HurricaneGal: Yeah, steam can do some nasty things.

Anonymous3: You’re telling me! My wallet weeps every time they do a sale!

RedFox: Ugh. Not the game marketplace. Actual steam. Under pressure, it can literally melt flesh off your bones.

SwiftTaylor: Yeah, that’s nasty, all right.

Aegis: So, what happened to the dragon?

RangerMiguel: The Demon of the Dungeon happened.

BestGirl: What? What did he do?

Temptation: The fighter led the dragon to my domain, and, with the help of some of my servants, I was able to get into position, and end the threat.

SunnyBunz: How’d you beat something that huge? It had to be insanely powerful!

Ambassador: Even a young Sea Dragon, as this one looked to be, is a Tier 4 creature. So, yes, incredibly powerful.

BestGirl: If it was that powerful, how’d you slay the dragon? (Damn, never thought I’d be saying something like that in real life!)

Temptation: Who said I slew it?

BestGirl: But, you said you ended the threat? How could you do that without killing it?

Temptation: Remember who I am, and who most of the floor bosses in the Dungeon are.

Id10t: You enslaved a DRAGON?

Temptation: Yep.

Id10t: Oh, shit. Is this going to be a new floor boss?

DonnyJuan: Don’t be an idiot. That dragon is way too OP to be a floor boss. It is Tier 4! The highest-leveled adventurers around are Tier 2. You’d need a raid of dozens, and be prepared to lose most of them, in order to take that thing on!

Ambassador: Actually, judging by the dragon’s size, I’d say that, if you had maybe one or two hundred Tier 2s, ready to die, you could perhaps wound it enough to drive it off. You might even have some survivors.

Ambassador: That isn’t counting vehicles, though. That ship that Temptation’s servants used was able to hit the dragon with weapons designed for ship-to-ship combat, which clearly hurt it.

Anonymous3: What’s the difference?

Temptation: Compare a shotgun to the guns of a battleship. They’re both guns, but anyone who tells you that they’re in the same league is LYING to you.

Anonymous3: Ah, that makes sense.

VenusFlyTramp: Actually, since we got the Demon on the line, what is with that church that appeared all of a sudden in Swamptown?

l33tpally: What are you talking about? There’s been that ‘faith center’ there, ever since Swamptown first got going. Like, a nondenominational thing, right?

Craig34: Yeah, but usually the only person there is that paladin chick that keeps getting knocked up because she pissed off the dungeon.

l33tpally: Right, that’s the one!

VenusFlyTramp: No, that’s still there. But, just before the dragon popped up, the dungeon went and raised a fucking church building out of the swamp!

Bacchus: That’s no ‘church’. It is a freaking miniature cathedral!

Temptation: Actually, it isn’t so miniature on the inside.

Bacchus: You made a Tardis church?

Temptation: No, it doesn’t bounce around in time. But it does ‘stretch’ to accommodate everyone in there. So, it could fit a football stadium’s worth of people in there, if they did it right. But it is also done so that anyone in the pews will be able to clearly see and hear everything at the altar.

VenusFlyTramp: How in the--?

Temptation: Magic. Space magic, specifically. It is something I’ve been playing with in some of the test chambers, getting it to work correctly.

VenusFlyTramp: You know what, I’m not even going to question that. What about the angel that was going about earlier?

SunnyBunz: Angel? What is this about an angel?

Bacchus: Hah. That’s right. The dragon attack overshadowed the angel. Basically, this pretty angel girl walked through the portal, and started heading to the Dungeon. An elf joined her as they went in.

RangerMiguel: The report from the local guild leader said she was a pilgrim, looking to meet her god.

Temptation: Yes, she was a lost lamb that found her way to my faith, after the more ‘traditional’ faiths failed her. A victim that took up the sword and cast down those who abused her.

Crusader: Preying on the vulnerable again, I see.

Temptation: Oh, shush, you. All religions do this. Those who are vulnerable, who are at their lowest, are always the ones most open to being brought into the fold. After all, isn’t that what happened with you?

Crusader: What? No!

Temptation: Now, now. Don’t be shy. We both know what a pathetic place you were in, when the System came online.

Crusader: Don’t!

Temptation: Oh, no. I’ve ignored you, for the most part, but you went and made me remember you, all publicly, so I think I’m going to have a chat.

Backpage: *gets popcorn* Anyone want some?

Craig34: Yeah, sure. Want a beer?

Backpage: Don’t mind if I do.

Temptation: So, you know those porn videos, where the schoolgirl gets caught shoplifting, and the wicked, wicked teacher confronts her, and bends her to his will?

RangerMiguel: Ahem. We get the idea, but as this chat is not age-restricted…

Temptation: Oh, fine. But anyways, suffice to say that she was at her very lowest when that silly goddess reached out to a silly girl, making her think she’d have the power to never be vulnerable again. And we all see how well that worked out for her.

Crusader: You bastard.

Id10t: But anyway, the dragon’s not going to be a floor boss, right?

Temptation: No, not until the adventurers are ready for that challenge. Or someone decides to play in Nightmare mode.

BestGirl: I’ve never been so glad to have signed a contract.