Lewd Dungeon, Book 22 Prologue (Patreon)

Prologue – Trade Chat

(Adventurer’s Guild Official Forums, Miami Branch)

SunnyBunz, MightyMouse, ImAPally, DontYouWantMe, AsaAkiraIsBae, BestGirl, LatinHeat, Salty, Backpage, Craig34, l33tpally, Anonymous3, Anonymous4, RedFox, Kimiko, DonnyJuan, Crusader, BadCompany, HurricaneGal, Ambassador, Scholar, Righteous, Id10t, Satyr, DarkEnchanter, RangerMiguel, ScoopGirl, VenusFlyTramp, MagicMike, TsundereHealer, Max, LightningLegacy, SwiftTaylor, Domino, Bacchus, Aegis, Temptation, and Lord_Kickass are in the chat.

AsaAkiraIsBae: HOLY SHIT, did you see that moon base the Demon showed off on the internet?

Satyr: See it? I’ve been there! As soon as the portal opened up for visitors, I jumped at the chance to go up. Getting to see the Apollo 11 site up close? So cool.

Scholar: I will have to admit that the museum section was tastefully done, and that everything was portrayed respectfully, with proper accreditation.

DarkEnchanter: I’m more interested in how the base itself worked. It appeared that the covering over the famous footprints and the dome covering the site were all made out of hardened air, for lack of a better term.

Temptation: That’s because they were.

DarkEnchanter: Fascinating. I know you probably used the Dungeon’s powers to do that, but if it is possible through magic, then it should be possible for others, if on a smaller scale.

Domino: What are you thinking, DE?

DarkEnchanter: For starters, how about research submarines with windows of hardened air, which have to weigh less than the inches of plastic that they use currently, if there are windows at all. Less mass means they can go longer, get more data.

Scholar: Nope. No way you get me on a deep-sea sub. Not anytime soon.

ScoopGirl: Why not?

Scholar: Because the System Apocalypse made elves, dwarves, and dungeons a thing. What do you think it will have done to the deep sea? No way I want to meet a megalodon, or a kraken!

Righteous: Especially since they would likely have magic, too.

Scholar: Oh, fuck that, no. I’ll stick to academia, and let someone else find that out.

ScoopGirl: Ah, I hadn’t ever considered whether sea monsters could be real now.

Kimiko: I’m more interested in what will happen with the captured space ships.

TsundereHealer: How did the Demon capture those ships, anyways?

Temptation: I made a deal. The crews got to live, and I got the ships. Since they’d just come off yet another embarrassment against me, they took the deal.

Id10t: Is it true that you just gave them to those countries?

Temptation: ‘Gave’ is a strong word. I traded them, with very favorable terms. The major powers get a leg up on starting their space forces, and between that and the clever monkeys that humans are, I don’t doubt we’ll have people start mining the asteroid belt before long.

Ambassador: It is certainly advancing our projected timeframe for Earth to be able to stand on its own substantially.

Crusader: And you just did this out of the goodness of your heart?

Temptation: Of course not. I did it because it helps me. I certainly couldn’t hold on to those ships. My church isn’t that strong, yet. And if any one nation had that kind of firepower, it would destabilize the world. I don’t want World War III, with magic-enhanced nukes. All my stuff is here!

Crusader: Hmph.

Temptation: You’re just mad that any foreign members of your frigid goddess are banned from coming here for the next two hundred years, unless someone yoinks them against their will.

ScoopGirl: How did you manage that?

Temptation: Contracts are such useful things. Part of the terms of me letting those crews off their ships was that the System itself would prevent any foreign-born Pofmisian from coming to the Sol system for the next 200 years.

Bacchus: Ouch, that’s evil.

SunnyBunz: So, what, you spend the next 200 years building up your church?

Temptation: Something like that. Though I’m also spreading my influence somewhat.

DarkEnchanter: What’s that mean?

Temptation: Don’t worry about that. Anyways, I’m going to need to find more priests who want to be part of the Chaplain corps of the different military forces that are getting ships.

RangerMiguel: Is that why the LA branch of the Guild started up a full-blown temple to you? Last I heard, half the local guild had converted.

Temptation: Oh, no. That’s just the work of my devoted followers. Miami and LA are my biggest hubs, but I’m starting to get followers in the other cities connected to the portal network I set up for the Guild. Actually, I have a couple pockets of believers overseas, too.

RangerMiguel: How in the--?

Temptation: Oh, you know. I make a few deals here and there, and change a couple minds with my winning smile and flawless appeals.

BadCompany: Sounds like you got it planned out. Why would you need chaplains?

Temptation: Because part of my agreement with the nations getting the ships is that the central shrine on each ship is dedicated to me, and tended by a priest of my church.

Crusader: And they are just allowing this?

Temptation: Actually, the countries involved thought it was a steal.

BestGirl: So, um, what about that dungeon on the moon? I mean, the shots we saw of that team running it looked pretty cool.

Temptation: Access to that dungeon is going to be covered under a portal contract, as well as a separate contract for the dungeon itself. You’ll need to rent or buy space suits, since the dungeon is in vacuum.

Temptation: On the other hand, that also means that the dungeon’s threats are more… straightforward than some of the ones seen in the Forbidden Chambers. You won’t see Captain Hentai’s brother in the Trials of the Demon God dungeon, I promise you.

AsaAkiraIsBae: So, what is next? I mean, you just showed off a lot of stuff. You have to have some kind of plan for what happens next, right?

Temptation: Well, a few people have started asking about trade opportunities, so I’m looking into a few options. The portal network may start building up, and branching out into new cities. Perhaps going international, if I can find some partners.

MightyMouse: Ooh, can you get one in Tokyo? I’d love to hop over to shop in Akihabara!

Temptation: I’ll see what I can do, though there may be some issues involved there. Don’t want to intrude on someone else’s territory.