The OP Lich is a Returnee, Chapter 5 (Patreon)

I got inspired. Here's another chapter. And about the reference, I regret absolutely nothing.

Chapter 5 – Interview

Her family did not stay for long. While Eri may have been local, the rest of the family had come from Japan, and there was still a seventeen hour time difference between Tokyo and Seattle. Stay-awake spells were only so effective, after all. Fortunately, they were staying in the same hotel, so she could see them when they recovered from their jet lag.

After her parents, she had a meeting with the lawyer Captain Fairchild had mentioned. Lilah Morgan, of the firm Wolfram & Hart, was actually the legal representative of the Awakening Memorial Charitable Fund. She was also a demon.

Oh, she looked normal enough, but that was just an illusion, a good one, too. Would probably fool most mortals, even mages. But while Kaori currently looked human, her eyes were just for show. She hadn’t needed them to see since she first became undead.

Sergeant Perkins had left them, standing watch outside the door, most likely. So, she didn’t bother with any preamble. Looking the demoness in the eye, she said, “So, why would a demon lawyer be coming to see me?”

Lilah blinked once, the only sign of surprise that she had pierced her veil, before she quickly cast a spell which the lich recognized as a soundproofing spell of some kind. Smiling once again, the lawyer met the lich’s eyes. “So, it is going to be like that, then? This job just got a great deal more interesting.”

She took a breath, and then continued. “Well, for starters, I actually do represent the AMCF. They’re one of our pro bono clients, since it is good PR. The AMCF provides for the maintenance of the Memorial and the Museum, as well as providing grants and funds for charitable works all around the world, though they are best known for their annual scholarships to help prospective magic users get an education. As I said, it is lovely PR.”

Kaori motioned for her to continue. “Yes, well, when the AMCF was first formed, they put together a Trust, totaling $20,000 in 2020, to be disbursed to any of the so-called Lost Sleepers or their descendants, should they be found. Obviously, $1000 per Sleeper was not a terribly large amount, but at the time it would at least pay a month’s rent with some left over for food, if the individual weren’t too extravagant in their tastes. However, the charter of the AMCF also included that 1% of all contributions to the fund be channeled to the Sleeper Trust.”

“Why would they create a fund like this, if they believed we were dead, or otherwise ‘lost’?”

Lilah nodded. “In the beginning, it was just a way to acknowledge the lost, and set something aside to help them, in case they came back. For such a cheap initial payment and minor continuing payments, this move won the AMCF a great deal of public support, as you can imagine. There was also a clause about the trust expiring in 2100, at which time if no Sleepers or their descendants had come forward, but that point is moot now, obviously.”

“Obviously.”

The lawyer smiled at her. “Now, between those continuing contributions, good management, and so on, that initial $20 thousand has grown considerably. The Sleeper Trust is now worth $3.2 billion, though only about one percent of that is liquid capitol.”

Kaori jolted upright in her chair. Even if inflation meant that a billion was worth less than it had when she was summoned, that was still an insane amount of money! “And I presume you’re here to tell me it all belongs to me, then?”

“That’s correct. Of course, there is some legal work that will need to be taken care off, re-establishing your legal identity, and all that, but I assure you, our firm is quite capable of maneuvering the red tape. If you wish to keep the current management team in place, and not make any withdrawals from the invested balances, then we can have things sorted within a couple weeks.”

“If the current team has done this well in growing the Trust in the last forty years, then I am content to leave them in place, though I will expect reports. The actual reports, mind you. I understand that the potential loss of control could lead people to making ‘unfortunate’ decisions, and I will be most upset if that happens.”

Lilah smiled like a predator that had spotted one of their own. “Ooh, I like you. I think we’re going to get along nicely. Now, I have the paperwork to open a bank account in your name, with an initial deposit of $20 thousand, and a line of credit for $1 million, which should be sufficient to cover incidental expenses between now and the legal work being finished. The only obstacle would be if we can expect any more Sleepers or their families to return?”

I shook my head. “They are dead. However, I did bring their remains with me, so that they can be returned to their families.”

“A pity. But that will save us one potential source of legal troubles, so all the better.”

“Excellent. So, with that part out of the way, why did a demon lawyer really come to see me?”

Lilah chuckled. “Well, you weren’t exactly subtle in your return, you know? Anyone in a twenty-mile radius who was sensitive to magic probably felt that tear in the face of reality. That kind of power outlay demands attention.”

Kaori nodded. “Especially from a demonic law firm, who might want to be sure any new player wasn’t going to upset the balance of power, whatever it is? I love the reference, by the way. I watched that show, and the one it spun off of. My roommate had both series on DVD.”

“Ah, was it the name that gave it away, then?”

Kaori shook her head. “No, that was just a pleasant catch on my part. Your glamour never worked on me to begin with.”

“Well, at least there’s that. It would have been most unfortunate if our work was undermined by a cute joke during the firm’s creation. I even had my name changed to fit in with the theme!” She sighed for effect, and then looked my way, inquisitively.

“If you don’t mind, though, would you tell me what you are? The firm is contracted to work with you on the AMCF business, regardless, but for a private retainer we would need to know more. And since you didn’t call for help or attack me the moment you discovered what I was, I can only assume that you are at least open to being represented by someone who is morally flexible, shall we say.”

The lich grinned, and said, simply, “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours.”

Lilah simply shook her head, and in the next instant a shimmer passed over her body. As the glamour faded, she was remarkably unchanged. It was just the little things, like the horns coming from her head, a pair of wings sprouting from her back, the tail draped over the arm of the chair, red skin, and hair the color of dried blood. You know, minor details.

For her part, Kaori just nodded, seeing exactly what she expected. She pressed the gemstone in the center of the ankh, and blue-black spectral flames seemed to immolate her for a moment. And then it was done, the flames gone, except for where they lit the place where her eyes should have been. Her clothes, of course, were not even singed, though they did hang differently without her flesh to hang from.

“Oh, wow. I was NOT expecting that!” And, in truth, Lilah wasn’t. After all, she had never seen a glamour that used flame to remove itself. And the flesh! She had felt the woman’s flesh as they shook hands. It had been a bit cold, but it had been there. “A physical glamour, how?”

“Trade secret, I’m afraid.” No need to tell her just yet that it wasn’t actually a glamour, after all.

“Hmm. If we can come to an agreement about a retainer, I can promise you that there would be plenty of people who would like to learn how to make a physical glamour. All of the more… noticeable members of the community, in fact.”

“So, I take it the Awakening brought its own supply of nonhumans? Or did they come from elsewhere?”

“That’s right, you wouldn’t have been around to see it. As magic started spreading, people started changing. Elves, dwarves, and the like started popping up. Even catgirls and such. Some were pretty, others not so much. Regardless, people freaked out, especially when kids started being born that way. About 10 percent of the global population is ‘other’ when it comes to the human question.”

“So, actual demon, like from the abyssal planes, or altered human?”

“Altered human, though we have met with some ‘natural’ demons, and the only real difference is in power levels that come from age and experience.”

“Fascinating.”

“So, you? Some kind of undead?”

“Yes, I’m a lich. A mage who bound their soul into an object, cheating death. Usually, it requires the person to be a powerful spellcaster, but there are ways to augment one’s power temporarily, especially if you’re a necromancer.”

“Ah, not one of the other Sleepers, I hope?”

“No, one of the nobles who was ordering me around.”

“Fine, we can spin that nicely if it ever comes out.”

“If it helps, I didn’t have much choice, as the Demon King had sent his assassins to poison all the newly summoned heroes, and the king that had brought us there. And it worked. The poison was one that was an incredibly lethal one, with no known antidote, not even magical ones. Using my abilities to turn into a lich was the only way I survived, when everyone else died.”

Lilah nodded slowly. “All right, that’s definitely some extenuating circumstances. What about the noble? Any way we can paint him in an unfavorable light if people start asking questions?”

The lich laughed. “Of course. The moment we indicated that we did not want to be the ‘summoned heroes who saved the world’, they were ready with an enslavement curse. Enslaved us all, and suppressed our memories of our own names. The noble I sacrificed to complete my transformation was actually about to order me to bed with him.”

Lilah’s smile grew wide at that. “Excellent. It makes you the victim, who took a bad hand, struck back against her kidnappers, and made the best of the situation. That will play well in all the demographics that really matter.”

She took a breath. “So, Wolfram and Hart would like you to consider putting us on retainer to handle any legal needs you might have. Given your new financial status, we can also recommend an accountant separate from the Fund’s people, to work on your personal finances. I think you’ll find our rates quite acceptable.”

Kaori nodded. “You have the paperwork for that with you?”

“Of course.”

After another half hour of reading through contracts and signing paperwork, the deal was done. Moments after Lilah sent in the scanned papers, there was a small flash of light, and a checkbook, debit card, and smart phone were sitting on the table in front of her.

The lawyer grinned at the look the lich gave her. “We used the express option, of course. The phone is charged and activated. You’ll find the number and the pregenerated PIN in the box. Obviously, you’ll want to change the PIN. The checks and card are to the account we set up, and you can use your phone to activate the card and set up your PIN.”

She took a breath, and said, “And I think that covers everything on our end. Unless you have any future plans you’re considering that might need legal work? We also have connections that can vet potential staff.”

“Well, I have a few ideas. Obviously, I’m going to need a permanent place to live. Ideally, I would like someplace both locally, and in Japan. Someplace where no one would mind if I put in my own security, you understand.”

“I’ll get our people looking for options in both places. Also, I’ll forward any relevant laws regarding magic and supernaturals to you. The Undead parts, specifically. Fortunately, sentient undead are classed differently from the mindless ones under the law, but there is definitely still pushback against demons and undead that you don’t see against the elves and catgirls.”

Kaori nodded. “It was the same in the other world. Pretty people always get special treatment over the ones that make you afraid. My staffing needs are fairly minor, aside from the accountant, which I will need. I think, at first, I will just need a series of tutors.”

“Any particular subjects?”

“History of the last forty years, of course: Global, US, and Japan. Current events. Also, technology, since I’ve missed the last forty years of innovations. And I want a magic tutor.”

“Really?” Lilah couldn’t keep the surprise out of her voice. “I would think you’d know plenty of magic already?”

“I know the other world’s magic. But belief changes magic, as I’m sure you’ve discovered. Magic in this world may be able to do things differently than the other world’s magic can. It is like the difference between a katana and a longsword. Both are great weapons, and are roughly equivalent, but they are used slightly differently, and have different strengths and weaknesses.”

“I see what you mean. I will have our people start looking for appropriate individuals.” Lilah made a note on her phone, and then looked up. “Now, about the press conference.”

“Press conference?” Kaori didn’t like the sound of that.

“Yes, unfortunately something like this is going to be impossible to keep out of the press. A few outlets have already noticed the Memorial getting the families of the Sleepers together. I recommend doing a press conference after the meeting this afternoon. We can have a few trusted local reporters get the ‘big scoop’, in return for making it a softball affair.”

“That sounds all right. I assume afterwards I’m going to have to do some real interviews, if only to keep the hounds at bay?”

“Yes, that’s the idea. Obviously, it won’t help with the paparazzi, but if we can get you a sympathetic interviewer on a couple shows, which we can use to get the story out there, on our terms. Then, we can have you step back, out of the limelight, so you can ‘take time to heal’, or some other PR-friendly phrase, and the major outlets will back off. Any preferences?”

Kaori shook her head, and shrugged. “I don’t know any of the current shows. I think, however, CNN for the ‘news’ part of it, then one of the night shows in the US, and one for each country one of my classmates came from, including Japan, if you can find sympathetic hosts.”

Lilah nodded once. “Oh, that shouldn’t be a problem. And I was going to suggest something similar. Specifically going to each country one of your classmates came from will play well, like you’re honoring your friends.”

She took a breath, and said, “Now, for the big question, are you going to reveal your being undead?”