Lewd Dungeon, Book 19 Prologue (Patreon)

Prologue – Trade Chat

(Adventurer’s Guild Official Forums, Miami Branch)

SunnyBunz, MightyMouse, ImAPally, DontYouWantMe, AsaAkiraIsBae, BestGirl, LatinHeat, Salty, Backpage, Craig34, l33tpally, Anonymous3, Anonymous4, RedFox, Kimiko, DonnyJuan, Crusader, BadCompany, HurricaneGal, Ambassador, Scholar, Righteous, Id10t, Satyr, DarkEnchanter, RangerMiguel, ScoopGirl, VenusFlyTramp, MagicMike, TsundereHealer, Max, LightningLegacy, SwiftTaylor, Domino, Bacchus, Aegis, Temptation, and Lord_Kickass are in the chat.

Bacchus: Hey, guys! Looks like the Demon’s getting ready for something big!

BestGirl: What makes you say that, Baccy?

Bacchus: Because some of his worshippers, like real deal worshippers, came into the Miami guild office, and started posting quests!

Id10t: Ooh, what kind of quests?

Bacchus: Subjugation quests, like the Guild and the Military did with the goblins, just after the dungeon was discovered.

BestGirl: Sweet! That time, the dungeon went and opened up new floors, right? New floors means new loot!

Domino: Don’t get so excited BG. There are still floors that haven’t been conquered, yet. That team from the University of Florida said that there are new floors already, and people haven’t even found that boss yet, much less beaten it.

VenusFlyTramp: Oof. More floors after the Temple? That’s going to be rough. That whole place is designed to break you down.

l33tpally: Wait, you’re talking about those college students, right? Damn, there were some SMOKING hot chicks in that group. And they all had slave collars on when they left the dungeon!

MagicMike: What? That can’t be legal. No way. Slavery isn’t legal, right? Even if they got the items as loot, the guy would get arrested, wouldn’t he?

Scholar: Apparently, the Demon found a loophole. The Thirteenth Amendment to the Constitution states, “Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.” The key word for the college group is ‘involuntary’ servitude. Apparently, they agreed to it of their own free will.

Crusader: Bullshit. They may not have had a gun to their heads, but it wasn’t of their own will.

MagicMike: What do you mean?

Crusader: Because when you’re fucked up enough, either through illness, drugs, or whatever, you aren’t mentally competent to make those decisions. That’s why the testimony of someone who was stoned out of their minds isn’t admissible in court.

MagicMike: So, what, the guy drugged them, and then he slapped collars on them?

Temptation: Oh, no. The girls were not under the influence of any drugs at the time. Not even the Enflaming Gas. They were perfectly safe, on a platform, overlooking the floor. I didn’t even manifest to them. They just took a long, hard look at the floor, and decided to devote their bodies to their friend.

Crusader: You lying bastard! I know there’s more to it than that!

Temptation: Believe what you want, it doesn’t matter to me.

MagicMike: So, hey, that makes sense for the guy taking them out of the dungeon. But what about all those slaves inside the dungeon?

Temptation: Look at the wording again. “Within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.” Everything within the Dungeon’s domain is the Dungeon’s jurisdiction, not the Government’s. Think of it like a foreign embassy.

Crusader: You can’t be fucking serious.

ScoopGirl: There isn’t any established case law on this. I think there is a case in Japan that is working through the courts. Came across one of my feeds because of my work with this Dungeon.

Temptation: Ah, yes. The Kitsune that appeared in Ginkaku-ji. She took up residence in the ‘Silver Mercy’ shrine-dungeon, and is speaking for the dungeon.

Bacchus: Silver Mercy? What kind of a name is that?

Temptaion: The Ginkaku-ji shrine is known as both the Temple of Shining Mercy and the Temple of the Silver Pavillion. Figure it out.

ScoopGirl: Wait, have you been in contact with this dungeon?

Temptation: You aren’t the only one who has search engines finding news about dungeons, you know. I might just have a vested interest in hearing about news relating to dungeons.

ScoopGirl: I can imagine.

DontYouWantMe: Wait, if that dungeon is called ‘Silver Mercy’, what is your dungeon called?

Temptation: The dungeon is called the Forbidden Chambers of Exotic Pleasures. Suffice to say, people should not be surprised if they find pleasures in the dungeon.

MagicMike: Going back to the slave thing, how can you say the dungeon is not part of the US, or under its jurisdiction?

Temptation: Plenty of reasons, really. We can start with the fact that the dungeon proper is inside a series of dimensional pockets, allowing more space to be used than the physical footprint occupies, as well as allowing multiple ‘instances’, each with their own monsters and loot. This means that you are not, technically, on the same plane as the United States.

Temptation: Second, there’s the fact that, under the System, which could be argued to supersede the pre-Apocalypse laws in many ways, Dungeons are sentient creatures, and the Dungeon’s domain is its physical body. So, if you wanted to argue that the government could have a say in what the Dungeon does within its domain, then you’re going to find challenges to that, based on Roe v. Wade. Enjoy that fight. Of course, just remember that the cleansing spells and potions that keep people from birthing slimes after meeting Captain Hentai are only legal because the Dungeon doesn’t recognize Florida’s abortion laws, which would require someone to go to a licensed clinic, get an ultrasound, and hope that the slimes had not progressed to the point that they were ‘viable’ by that point. Probably some other hoops you would have to go through, too.

Crusader: YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!

Scholar: Oh, god. It would get tied up in so many court cases it wouldn’t be resolved for fifty years or more!

Temptation: And then, of course, there’s the fact that they would have to find a way to make the Dungeon do something it doesn’t want to do. And all you adventurers had best hope that they don’t, since anyone who has signed the dungeon contract has agreed to do everything in their power to defeat anyone seeking to harm the dungeon. And that is enforced by the System itself.

ScoopGirl: Wait, the System would force the adventurers to fight the police if they tried to raid you?

Temptation: Or the military, if they were called in. Plus, they’d have to deal with the off-world resources I have.

Ambassador: Oh, dear. You’ve put a lot of thought into this.

Temptation: Well, I’ve got a good bit of free time on my hands, you know. Not like I can go out to the ball game, or a concert or anything. Have to do something to pass the time.