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Prologue – Trade Chat

(Life in the City Chat Room)

abby_gail, bento, RainyDayze, GringottsGoblin, DoritoMan, D.VaLuvr69, RadicalEdward, FusionGal, NotACop, Scholar, Anonymous4, Anonymous6, SevenNationArmy, BagOTrix, Faraday, BackpageGal, FullServiceMassage, daytrader, shadow_clone23, jenny8675309, Rabbit, Angelus and Tracker are in the chat.

daytrader: Oh, god, my poor accounts!

shadow_clone23: Who would have thought that the Apocalypse would upset the stock market.

daytrader: Shut up! I’ve just barely been able to keep ahead of the fallout by shorting, and I’m still down ten thousand!

Rabbit: Damn. But in better news, I just got to level 2!

SevenNationArmy: I’m level 3, but a group of us got together and started hunting slimes.

Anonymous4: Slimes? That’s nasty. I’ve tried killing them, but my bat does jack to them.

SevenNationArmy: You need some magic to kill them. We have a mage that picked a spell for imbuing weapons with magic temporarily, so any of the weapons we found were able to do the job. The splitting was still a problem, though.

BagOTrix: Splitting?

SevenNationArmy: Yeah. You use a blade on a slime, and it can split into two. That can be a problem, if you only have knives to fight them with.

BagOTrix: So, never-ending slimes? Like in that guy in Ultima Online back in the day who trapped a bunch in a building, and started throwing potions down on them until there were thousands and thousands of the things, before he unleashed them and destroyed the server?

SevenNationArmy: Never heard of that. Someone really do that?

BagOTrix: Oh, yeah. Go look on Cracked, and their list of the 7 Most Elaborate Dick Moves in Online Gaming History. 

SevenNationArmy: Wow. He actually made the devs make slimes stop splitting?

BagOTrix: Never underestimate the power of a gamer determined to be a dick.

SevenNationArmy: True. But fortunately, there seems to be a limit. Looks like 2-5. If you hit them with magic, it lowers the number.

Scholar: Interesting. Tell me, are the later slimes as easy to ‘kill’ as the early ones?

SevenNationArmy: Yeah. How do you know that?

Scholar: It was a hypothesis. The fact that there seems to be a limit, and that limit decreases with damage suggests that the slimes split their HP when they split, so there must be a threshold where they can’t split any more.

THE_MERCHANT has entered the chat.

D.VaLuvr69: Hey, anyone try and get over to the mall yet, and see about the zombies? Are they still contained?

NotACop: I don’t know if they were ‘contained’ so much as ‘people stayed away’. Without anything to draw their attention, and make them chase, they just… stayed put.

THE_MERCHANT: The zombies are currently inside the mall, yes, but it looks like the mall is in the process of becoming a dungeon.

Scholar: How do you figure that?

THE_MERCHANT: Because I read the System information on dungeons and how they form.

Scholar: System information? Where did you find it?!?

THE_MERCHANT: In the System Shop, of course. According to the information, there should be a shop in every major city around the world.

BackpageGal: And where is this shop?

THE_MERCHANT: At the mall, of course. Oh, you don’t have to go inside the mall. It is one of the shops located on the outer edge, with entrances from both the mall and the street.

NotACop: What about the zombies?

THE_MERCHANT: So far, they have retreated inside the mall, and haven’t attempted to come into the Shop. The information says that it is warded against unintelligent monsters, and the System enforces a ‘safe zone’ inside the shop for intelligent beings.

Scholar: And information you found there leads you to believe that the mall is becoming a dungeon?

THE_MERCHANT: Yes. The most telltale sign is the way the outer doors to the mall have repaired themselves. The broken glass is gone.

Scholar: What other information is in this Shop?

THE_MERCHANT: Oh, all kinds. You just have to have the money to purchase the books. And it isn’t just knowledge for sale, but weapons, armor, vehicles, home upgrades, spell books, skill books, and so much more.

FullServiceMassage: What is happening with the shops that used to be in the store?

THE_MERCHANT: They’ll probably become part of the dungeon. It will be interesting to see what happens.

DarkLord has entered the chat.

Angelus: DarkLord? Ominous name.

DarkLord: Call it an inside joke, or an aspiration. Whichever makes you happier.

bento: So, what makes you a ‘dark lord’?

DarkLord: Well, I’m a warlock of the blood, so that has a thematic element to it, you know?

FullServiceMassage: Ooh, someone else with a magic class?

DarkLord: What did you get, FSM?

FullServiceMassage: I got Pleasuremancer! It is supposed to be low on attack power, but it more than makes up for it with how you can ‘support’ others.

DarkLord: Hah! I don’t doubt it. I might have to look you up later, once things have quieted down a bit. I’ve been wanting a massage.

FullServiceMassage: Oh, my! Well, I’m certainly happy to have any new customers come my way, you know. And if you call ahead, there’s a ‘four hands’ option. I’m an Elf now, but I have a friend who turned into a catgirl, and her customers say she’s ‘purrrfect’. :)

Angelus: Oh, God.

DarkLord: Ooh, I will definitely keep that in mind. Is this incall or outcall?

FullServiceMassage: Oh, we’ll come to you. I know you understand why a couple young women would hate to have a whole bunch of strangers knowing where they live, right?

THE_MERCHANT: You know, the System Shop offers a couple items that could help with that. You could upgrade your home with effects from the System to make you safer, or an item that would teleport you to a preset location. For instance, if you were leaving an appointment and didn’t want to go home alone in the dark, you could use the item, and teleport to your doorstep.

FullServiceMassage: Oh, Mr. Merchant, you’ve just got all the answers!

THE_MERCHANT: Well, I’m always looking for new customers, you know.

Comments

Anonymous

thx for the chapter. i look up the slime splitting story and it relly happend, the guy who did that is a legend

J B

Heh heh heh heh.... I can't WAIT to hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth when the newbs realize just who/what the Merchant really is....

Alric

Or when the cat girl and elf get branded

Anonymous

Oh lord. Thank you for pointing towards that Cracked article. That was fantastic.

Will Creech

It sort of sounds like this Pleasuremancer might be our new character and maybe she's brought along a cat girl for our undead friend back at the mall.

Anonymous

Appreciated the accurate terms regarding the fbm. Shame Backpage was shut down.

Anonymous

If you stopped reading the chapter to go read the Cracked article, like I did, give me a like.

Some BS Deity

Lol, I'll have to check that out later.

Dwight Brown

I think that DarkLord and Merchant knows her from the last cycle. I wonder if her name is Zoe?