New project! (Patreon)

Hey, all you lovelies! I've started a new project, trying my hand at the 'dungeon core' style of story. Working title is 'Lewd Dungeon', the MC is a perverted bastard who gets turned into a dungeon when Earth suddenly gets the System. But he's still a pervert, so expect the dungeon to be filled with all kinds of 'excitement'.

I'm planning on this being on Kindle Unlimited, but the prologue will be up here for all you lovely patrons. Here's the prologue for you:

  

Prologue – Welcome to the Apocalypse

The year is 2025, I think. The place is I-got-no-fuckin-clue, somewhereintheUSAmaybe.

Not very specific? Yeah, I get that. I really get that. But sorry, can’t be too specific, since I honestly don’t know, myself. See, things went a bit wonky for a while. Kindof happens when the end of the world comes crashing down on top of your head.

What? No, I’m not dead! Geez. The world ended, but that doesn’t mean everyone died. Or maybe I should say that the world as we knew it ended? You know what, I’ll just start back at the beginning.

From what I’ve been able to piece together, it all started back in 2018, when the President of the United States wanted to get the press talking about something other than the latest scandal. Seems someone told him that Area 51 was actually real, and there were some bigtime secret projects working out of there. That guy was an idiot, and pretty much everyone hates him now. Why? Because the President went and just had to go have a press conference while he ‘declassified’ some of the top secret stuff. And no one told him “Don’t touch the alien artifacts, not even if there’s a flashing button.”

So he pushed the button, and there was a big boom on national television, turning Roswell into a crater. If we’d known who was responsible for telling the President about Area 51, we would have all bought him drinks at that point. The President and the UFO nuts in one blast? Awesome! An hour later, though, things stopped being awesome.

I still remember where I was when everything went to hell. It was 5 o’clock on a Friday, and I was at Islands High School, in Chatham County, Georgia. No, I wasn’t a student. I taught gym and was the coach for the women’s volleyball and softball teams. As for why I was still on campus at five on a Friday, that would be because I was having a ‘counseling’ session with one of my starters on the volleyball team on why she should keep her starting spot, after I caught her shoplifting at Walmart a couple months ago.

Yeah, I’m a dirty, rotten son of a bitch. I own that. And yeah, I’m sure blackmailing one of my students to have these ‘counseling’ sessions in my office was all kinds of wrong, but I made sure she was legal, first. I’m a bastard, but I don’t go for the jailbait. Anyways, yeah, I was balls deep inside this pretty young thing with the TV on to cover the noise in case anyone came by, when things went all kinds of crazy.

See, the PYT I was screwing decided that she didn’t like the arrangement. I can understand that. After all, I wasn’t exactly an Adonis, and I definitely was blackmailing her. I might have also ignored her on the whole ‘condom’ issue. And for the last few months I’d been taking her pretty much whenever I wanted. Like I said, I own the fact that I’m a horrible person. No excuses there.

Now, this girl, she decided that she’d try and turn the tables on me, and get evidence of what went on in our counseling sessions. If she wanted proof, she could have just asked, and I would have shown her the videos from the hidden cameras in my office. But she was looking to get something she could take to the cops, to show them what I was doing. And I just couldn’t have that.

We fought, but I had size, strength, and weight on her. We were also the only ones in that wing of the school right then. I didn’t leave marks, not where people would see them. I was a bastard, not an idiot. I used tape to bind her hands behind her back, and then bent her over the desk so I could take the only hole she hadn’t given up yet. I gagged her with her panties, and taped her mouth shut, so I didn’t have to worry about her screaming and getting the janitor involved when he came by eventually.

And I was balls deep in her back door, just about to fill her up, when everything changed.

  

Greetings, Sentients of Planet 2356-A [Earth]!

We represent a consortium of business   interests who look for exciting growth opportunities like the ones provided   by your planet, [Earth]. Unfortunately, for the last 16250000 or so Galactic   Standard Years (equivalent to roughly 65000000 of your years), your planet   has been cut off from the Multispacial Aether Nodal Aggregation (MANA). We   are saddened to say that, due to the lack of sentients on [Earth] at that   time, the interruption went unnoticed until a passing science vessel noted   the strange signals coming from your world. By your calendar, this would have   been late in the year 1936. This caused a great deal of confusion, naturally,   until we discovered the cause of your planet’s malfunction due to an asteroid   impact knocking the dimensional conduits out of phase.

Unfortunately, it seems you attacked   and murdered the repair crew who were sent to fix your MANA connection in   1947 (by your calendar), and the manaforming device has only now been   activated. We here at Contract Communications apologize for the inconvenience,   however, due to the delay in activation the manaforming process will cause   some severe disruption in certain areas that may have adverse reactions to   living creatures including, but not limited to: mutation, species and/or gender   shift, development of MANA-based abilities in an uncontrolled manner, infection,   intestinal regurgitation, pigmentation alteration, and death. Our condolences   in advance for any inconvenience this may cause you in the coming days.

Thank you for your time.

--Grod Iwohs, VP of Public Relations, Contract   Communications

  

MANA Integration beginning.

10.5% complete

SYSTEM Protocols enacting.

Scanning personal history…

Scanning biology…

Scanning soul…

Processing…

SYSTEM protocols unlocked.

MANA integration now 55.7% complete.

SYSTEM Online.

MANA integration 100% complete.

Implementing SYSTEM.

Downloading update file.

Update file downloaded.

Installing…

Do not cease life functions at this time.   This process may take a few minutes, and your consciousness may reboot several   times.

And that is how the world as we knew it ended.