Lewd Dungeon, Book 34 Epilogue (Patreon)

Epilogue – Elsewhere

“Move, move, move!”

Raúl Moruga urged his team forward as they ran for cover. After watching that ‘Freedomland’ dungeon get what was coming to it, their team had decided that it was time they start learning about dungeons out, away from Texas. Sure, Texas had dungeons, and some of them were spectacular places to delve for loot and levels, but there was a whole world open to them, now that those portals were opening up.

He knew that Kuronoth, the dungeon god from Florida, was the one behind all of them, since the contract they’d signed to use the portals in Texas still served everywhere they went in the network. And it really was a network, now, large enough that you couldn’t simply just walk through the ‘terminal’ in south Florida and get to your destination, anymore. Not with the hundreds of portals in existence.

So, the portals had been reworked, along with the portal hub. There were now three floors to the main portal hub. First floor took you to different US states and territories. Second floor was international (and the moon). Third floor was interstellar. Like other worlds and all that. Apparently, that Kuronoth guy was spreading his influence all over.

However, the changes to the portal network didn’t stop there. Each state now had a hub, as well, with one portal leading back to the ‘Swamptown’ hub, but the rest going to different portals within the state. The Houston hub had portals heading to Austin, Corpus Christi, Port Arthur, San Antonio, Fort Davis, Fort Worth, Wichita Falls, Abilene, and Amarillo. Suddenly, getting around the state was a lot quicker.

Of course, you had to be careful going through portals. Taking ‘bags of holding’ through them usually just meant that the bag couldn’t be used while going through the portal, with the pocket dimension being sealed until you were through. But if you had a cheap bag, that just had expanded space and weight reduction features, then things would be bad. Also, some items apparently didn’t like being carried through portals while in pocket dimensions, so it wasn’t like the shipping industry was out of business.

That was neither here nor there, however, as currently Raúl and his team were running for their lives through the Scaleskin Burrow dungeon, up in Colorado. Of course, given where the dungeon was, they had needed to take a portal to Denver, and then another portal to get to Fort Collins, before taking a drive almost to the Wyoming border on US 287. Regardless, when his team decided that they were going to take on dungeons around the country, Scaleskin Burrow was the first one they thought of.

They knew that the kobolds in the Burrow weren’t like the ones in the former Freedomland dungeon. After all, they’d seen them bringing out guns, body armor, and mining equipment to destroy that dungeon. But there was a big difference between seeing a thing, and really understanding it.

They hadn’t gone in blind, of course. They did their research with the local guild, purchasing maps and guides to study, before ever going into the dungeon. They’d prepared supplies and weapons accordingly, and made sure to sign the dungeon contract, so that they didn’t need to go up against the dungeon actively trying to kill them.

The Burrow was an interesting dungeon, honestly. Located in an old iron mine, the dungeon was naturally an underground affair. However, the dungeon had expanded the mining tunnels, turning the mine into a small city underground. Which meant that fighting in the dungeon combined all the challenges of underground combat with those of urban combat, with the added ‘fun’ of having penalties put in place if you caused collateral damage to noncombatants.

Honestly, if he wasn’t in the middle of getting shot at by the ‘security force’ that were the main opposition in this part of the dungeon, he’d be happily exploring the town. After all, they had some quality booze, and there were all sorts of crafts and gear that he’d love to take back home and sell off to the locals back home. But the dungeon didn’t let people just waltz around and shop unless they’d proved themselves. And, to do that, they needed to get past the area boss, and into the market district.

Fortunately, the dungeon contract limited how deadly the security forces could be. Well, more like they roughly matched the monsters’ levels to their own, and didn’t use some of the nastier options he knew from his research were in the dungeon’s arsenal, like the magically enhanced white phosphorous grenades. He wanted to have a long conversation with whoever thought it was a good idea to give those to a dungeon.

“Boss up ahead!” Carlos, their Rogue, called out.

Good. The dungeon was set up so that once you got to the boss arena, the security forces would break off pursuit, though any of them that survived had a chance to become adds during the fight. But that was fine. They were prepared for that. Raúl took a breath, and said, “Amber, you good?”

Their Paladin of Kuronoth nodded. Her slim build looked odd, decked out in a full suit of armor, wielding a hammer and shield, but she was one of the best tanks in the Houston Guild. “I’m good, Boss. Just keep an eye out for the adds, so that I can focus on locking down the boss and his boys.”

It was strange having actual gods that could talk with their followers, but he was a Priest (through the System, not the Church), and stuck to his Catholic beliefs all the same. Policy in the guild was to live and let live when there were theological differences. Raúl didn’t preach at Amber, and she at least tried to be discrete when doing her ‘communions’. They made it work, and that was that.

Terry, their Earth Sorcerer, threw up a stone wall behind them, blocking the pursuit, if only for a bit. That way, they could catch their breath before the boss fight, instead of rushing straight in. Raúl nodded to the mage, and said, “Everyone potion up. We’ve read the report, and know what’s up. Remember, our buddy Deerg is betting a whole case of their specialty liquor against the tequila we brought that we can’t get through this fight without needing to use the Escape Charms or one of the net launchers in the room.”

Dante, their off-tank Fighter grinned. “Never thought we’d be buddies with dungeon bosses when we started out with this, yeah?”

Isabel, their Mind Sorceress, laughed. “Well, we never thought we’d be helping one dungeon take down another, either, but that happened. And don’t forget, I got a side bet with Kah, the lady shaman of the second floor. She says her Rocky Mountain Oysters beats mi Tía Ana’s arroz con pollo, and I can’t be having that!”

“For the record,” Raúl said, “as much as I love Tía Ana and her cooking, and would love to defend her recipe, I will NOT be testing those Rocky Mountain Oysters. Fuck that.”

“Aww, don’t say that,” Amber laughed. “Maybe you’ll find you like the taste of balls. I know I do!”

Raúl just groaned, and shook his head. “All right, that’s enough. Everyone ready?” They all nodded. “All right then. Like we planned. Move it!”