Feeling the Way, CH 24 (Patreon)

“Well,” the otter said, grinning. “I didn’t think I’d see you this soon.”

“Hey Elias,” I replied, doing my best to sound enthusiastic. It was not fair to him that the deer heading toward me was the reason I was not looking forward to this meeting. “I didn’t think you’d be here.”

“Where else did you expect me to go, Wyatt? I was there when you learned he’d been here. Have you figured out what Wanna Be was doing here?”

“I don’t think you need me to work that part out, but I don’t have anything to report.”

“Is that so?” the deer asked, gaze fixed on me. “Agent Johns, would you mind giving us privacy?”

“Yes sir,” Elias replied, straightening and left without giving me a second glance.

If Assistant Director Zikabar Malhotra Bodenman wanted total privacy, he was going to have to drag me to the Denver office, and I doubted he was interested in making the offer that would make me agree to that.

I heard the FBI has loosened the ‘no interpersonal relationship’ rules since magic was revealed, but it couldn’t be loosened enough for me to want to go there.

The deer pulled a leather wallet from the inside of his jacket, closed his eyes as he got himself in the right mood to activate it, and placed it on the hood of the police car next to us. I saw the sigils as it slid and opened, but I couldn’t make out the phrase. Still, the dimming of the sounds around us was a good sign.

“There was a time,” I said in an attempt to maintain the upper hand, “when I could break your arm for having that.”

The deer snorted. “You weren’t born then, neither were your fathers, Mister Orr. Please don’t imply threats you never had the power to carry through. Back in those days, your family was too busy dealing with the Gray Church to bother with someone like me.”

I sighed. “How can I help you, Assistant Director?”

“You can start by telling me what happened here.”

So I did, minus naming Donal, although I wouldn’t be surprised if he was aware of him. The Magical Enforcement Division of the FBI was basically his creation, even if he wasn’t the one to officially put it in action. Another result of the war with the Gray Church. Other than that, I spared none of the gory details.

When I was done, and he eyed me, my hackles went up. “If you try to make this my fault, I will be calling in Elder Brislow.”

“I would love nothing more than to have something to justify taking you in, or at the very least forcing you to leave the city, but the reason I’m annoyed at you—I snorted, he was way more than annoyed—is that you shouldn’t have been the one to bring this to light. People were experimented on by the magical community. One of my people should have been aware of it.”

I shrugged. I was not going to gain anything by pointing out that if it had been wealthier people who’d vanished, the FBI would have been all over this. To be fair to them, I only got involved because Donal made it the cost of his help.

“How are you doing on locating this Wanna Be?” he said the name with disgust and I couldn’t tell if it was because I came up with it, or someone made it the official nickname. They did have the killer’s real name, after all.

“Still looking. I’m something like eight years behind him, and he has to have gotten smarter over time because my people aren’t finding all that much more than yours are.” I smiled and left the ‘but we are finding more’ unsaid. “I have people looking into what happened here, and Elder Brislow has assigned me a minder, so you don’t have to worry about me going off half-cocked.”

“No, you always go off full-cocked,” the deer replied with a frown as I spotted my handler approaching. I didn’t react. This should be amusing. The ex-hitman dealing with the FBI.

Tom reached us and leaned against the deer, who placed an arm over the badger’s shoulders. “How’s it going, Zee?”

“I’ve had better days, Tom.” He glared at me. “But at least it’s the least problematic of that family I have in my city today.”

I looked from one to the other, trying to understand what was going on. Tom Marrows was renowned for going after any guy in law enforcement who just sniffed around one of his kills over the years. The man loved to take them to bed while they were trying to find him.

And Zikabar had done more than sniffing. The FBI has all of Marrows’ aliases. The badger should be boning up right now and, being who he is, that meant he should be doing everything to piss off the FBI deer.

And they were acting like best friends.

I narrowed my eyes. Was Marrows trying to convince the assistant director to become a Missionary?

“You’re going to pop a blood vessel, kid.” The badger said. “Stop trying to figure us out, we’re friends and nothing more.”

The deer snorted and rolled his eyes. “As if I would have any interest in Tom.”

“Come on, there’s no need to be hurtful about it,” Marrows replied.

“Honesty is the cornerstone of our friendship, Tom.”

“But you wield it like a fucking hammer.”

“It’s what works for me.” The deer leveled his gaze on me. “I expect to be told everything before you leave the city, Mister Orr. If you don’t, I will track you down.” He turned and stopped. “Oh, and if you hurt Elias, I will…” he looked at my crotch. “Do you need me to state it?”

“You’re going to rip it off. No, that was pretty well implied. You’re welcome to try.”

“Don’t make the mistake of underestimating me, Mister Orr. Your great uncle did.”

And what did that cost you? The badger’s glare was enough to stop the words.

“He would have ripped them out right here if you’d mentioned his dead husband,” Tom said once the deer was well out of hearing range.

“He started it by bringing up Damian,” I snapped back.

“Which he only did because you’re too full of yourself.”

“I—”

“Stow it, kid.”

“I really hate when you call me kid. You look no older than me.”

“Learn to live with it, because once you’ve smoothed things over with your boyfriend over there, we have work to do. Donal texted me.”

Elias was returning, and Tom grinned as he left.

“You’re still in one piece I see,” the otter said. “You need me to kiss any parts my boss bruised?”

“I don’t bruise Elias.”

“I can still—” the smile faltered as I raised my hand.

“You know who I am, my family, my history.”

“Of course, the assistant director makes sure we know everything there is about the Orrs.”

“Then you know this isn’t happening. I told you it wasn’t happening in Amarillo.”

“I know, I’m not.”

I ran a hand over my face. This might be the worst part of my ability to read people. When I have to force them to confront the lies they’re telling themselves.

“You are. You’re falling in love with me, Elias.” He rolled his eyes. “Your boss just threatened me into ‘not hurting you’. He sees it, so don’t act surprised I can pick up on it. I’m empathic. It’s what I do.”

He took a breath. “That doesn’t mean we can’t work together. I’m a grown man.”

“And I’m a barely controlled ball of emotions at the best of time. There’s a reason I stick to occasional meetings, even with the people who can handle my family. I’m not going to put you through the shit I’m going to cause.”

“If you’re worried about what Zikabar threatened, don’t be. He’s got no business getting involved in my love life.”

“Appreciate that he’s trying to save you and let him do it.”

“Who says I want to be saved?” the otter snapped back. “Fuck, Wyatt, do you think Agent is all I am? Keeping the peace is my job, not what I want out of life. So you’re dangerous, I know it, I don’t fucking care. I love being with you.”

“No, you don’t. You’re in love with the danger itself. You just think I’m a safe way to be with that danger instead of whatever would be monster you’ve been eying. I’m worse than any of them.”

He laughed. “If you were as bad as you love to proclaim, you wouldn’t be pushing me away. You’d use me.”

Fuck, the things I could be blind to sometimes. “What happened to you, Elias? And how the fuck can you push it so deep I didn’t see it coming?” at least this made it a lot easier on me. “I’m not going to help you kill yourself, or destroy you emotionally, or whatever it is you’re after. We fucked, it’s over. Go look for someone else to abuse you.”

I turned and headed for Marrows’ car, fists so tight my claws were digging into my palm. I glared at the badger as he opened his mouth, and he closed it, grinning. He knew what was coming, and him, I didn’t mind giving it to.

* * * * *

“Oh fuck yeah,” Marrows said in the afterglow.

We were on the floor because nothing survived the fight. We might get into another one when it came to figuring out which one of us was paying for the repairs. Tom could be an asshole just about all the time, but he was honorable, so he was going to want to pay for it when I was the one responsible for the damage. He was just the tool I used to cause it.

“You guys never let me down,” the badger purred. I’d never seen him this content.

“Don’t get used to it,” I replied, standing. “This isn’t something I’m in the habit of indulging.”

“Yeah, yeah, self-control and all that. I will—”

I slammed the door to the bathroom on the words. I was no longer angry, just annoyed. Elias used me. For me not to have picked it up, that puts him somewhere on the sociopathy scale. It seemed directed at his self-destruction, so I didn’t particularly feel the need to warn his boss, who I doubt would believe me.

I cranked the hot water as high as it would go and climbed under, letting the pain clear my head. I should warn my family. He got a taste through me, so he might see about getting more with them. As he said, everyone in the FBI knew as much as there was available on my family. And there was a lot available, very little nice. 

We played a part in stopping Damian from taking over the world. It’s not a weak claim, but that’s about the entirety of the ‘good’ column if you ask most people. The good we’ve done for San Francisco is overshadowed by how we went about doing it. The world at larger doesn’t look well on blackmail, sexual or otherwise, regardless of the results.

My fathers would listen. They’d been around long enough to not want to be part of what Elias wanted. The problem was that more than one of my brothers would be happy to give it to him. If I wanted to make it quick, I just had to tell Wolfgang about him. He’d be done in one evening. Elias would get exactly what he wanted; Wolf would be happier than anyone would have seen him in years and I…Would have to live with making it happen.

“Fuck!” Tom exclaimed as he stepped under the shower. “What are you trying to do, bake yourself?”

“If it’s too hot, you’re welcome to get out and come back once I’m done.”

“If you were making any progress on cleaning yourself, I’d consider it. But looks like all you’re doing is waiting to be boiled. Get over whatever gave me the best fuck in a while and wash already. We have work to do.”

I took a breath. Made my decision—I’d tell my dads and ask Him to give them the wisdom not to mention it to anyone else—and washed.