Why do I bother (Patreon)

Last week, I mentioned that I’d had an idea for a new series and wrote the outline for the fist book (I did, I checked) I started working on the outline for the second book early this week and as the week progressed, the energy of the new idea ebbed away, and in its place I was left with fear.

Fear that I’m doing this just to get attentions, Fear that I’m hoping it’s going to make me right real quick, fear that I’m just doing it because it’s “the popular genre” fear that by doing these outline by myself, I’ll alienate my co-scripter. Fear that I’m not good enough to even write without my Co-scripter’s help.

Now, before everyone emails me to point out how I’m wrong, thank you, but that isn’t why I’m doing this.

I’m not writing this looking for sympathy.

I’m writing it to talk about perseverance. 

I know these fears are irrational. Most fears are these days, especially fear of intangible things. Somethings, there’s even crippling. I haven’t touched any of the outlines for this series in two days. I don’t know if I’ll be able to work on it today, or tomorrow, or the day after that.

What I do know, is that I will work on it.

I will get these outlines done, even if I decide not to write the books because… whatever reason I decide not to write them. While I do intend to write the novels, the primary exercise is writing the outlines.

I will work on my fears as it relates to this, I will overcome them, as it relates to this and I will get the outlines.

One last fear about these. I’m afraid they won’t be perfect.

How is that for stupid fear? The fear’s still real, I still have to work on it.

And that’ll be it, so I’ll see you on the next one.