patreon update (Patreon)

hi! you may have noticed i was gone from the internet for the past few weeks :") i wanted to talk about it here + possible future directions for patreon. this post will be public. 

firstly, i've talked about it before, but i feel a disconnect with my audience and what i want to make, and have for a while. i just am not comfortable making certain themes of art most days and although i have wanted to shift to art that more aligns with myself and my goals, that doesn't mean that the audience i have necessarily wants that. over the past year, i've noticed (however hard i try not to) patreon subs decreasing and people slowly no longer supporting me, and i understand why; if you're here for a certain type of content and it's no longer being produced, of course you'd leave. i recognize this and while it is sad, it's really no one's fault! but still, this has caused depression and a lot of burnout and stress, and i have considered quitting art a few times this year. 

these past few weeks have been important in understanding how much this affects me. i accidentally was offline for a few days, but it snowballed into a week, and then a couple weeks. i considered deleting socials and just disappearing tbh, which is very unlike me. over this time, i've really given it some thought about why it is that i have wanted to stay offline and how much of a role the above mentioned issues have played in that. 

i've also been struggling financially (moreso than usual lol) for some time due to COVID + my partner's own financials and employment, and trying to keep afloat doing patreon and commissions just doesn't seem to be working. i've had to take on a sum of debt to keep our household afloat over the past year and managing this has taken a pretty hefty toll on myself mentally and financially. 

because of this, my family has offered to let me move back in and i am strongly considering it. i've also been pursuing other opportunities for work to ensure that i can continue to do art. of course, this is not a patreon-related issue, so i won't go into details here haha. 

that said, in the upcoming months (possibly by january 2022) i will probably be removing request tiers from my patreon and focusing mainly on commissions instead, or cutting back on request tier rewards and doing some restructuring. i will also be making changes to polls. if you're currently in a request tier and would like it to be kept, please do comment or let me know over a DM (discord works fine!) so i can have an idea of what you guys want moving forward as well! 

i've appreciated your support, all of you, for the past few years. people have come and left, but it means everything to me that people have interest in my art and in supporting it. moving on from college and being able to support myself and my partner (and our fur babies) has been thanks to your generosity and kindness, so although i have complained in this post enough, i really do appreciate it. thank you for everything! i hope that you've enjoyed the ride!!! 

for months i've written and rewritten this post. i've made so many tweet drafts on this topic. that this has gotten to the point where i even considered quitting art and have been avoiding social media is a huge wakeup call to me. i don't plan on quitting art, so i am taking steps to ensure that art remains something i enjoy and am passionate about. i'm also going to be seeking therapy and adhd treatment - i've been struggling with mental health my whole life basically but it's difficult to ignore how much my mental health and physical health issues are affecting me as well. 

i'll be making poll request posts within the next few days, and am working on belated patreon requests from september + august/sept poll winners. please be patient just a bit longer! i am not in KY where my tablet/computer are and my apple pencil was unexpectedly broken (and it's not cheap oTL) so i haven't been able to work on comms or anything for a hot second. however, i'm returning to KY this week, so i will be working in overdrive!!! >:3 i will also respond to discord and twitter messages when i can, i'm sorry again for my unexpected absence. i have over 100 unread notifs from patrons and commissioners that i need to sort through and reply to so again, your patience is deeply appreciated while i get through that as well ;; i expect to have responded to everyone waiting by this weekend.  

thank you for understanding and for all of your support <3 i really, really can't thank you enough. please stay safe and warm!